No kids allowed at the wedding is on father's day!

[IrisRuby]

My husband is best man at his close friends wedding and for years we always thought they would be kids at the wedding as our friends do like kids.

Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this.

several months went by and no mention of if kids were allowed which I found odd because normally people would know well in advance if not to arrange child care. I just sent a text saying I'm looking at booking a hotel are the kids coming so I know how many to book for just to see if they were allowed. I got a text back saying nothing under teens allowed as I want everybody to enjoy a day with their partner and she said she doesn't think it would be child friendly.

I was upset by this and so was my kids as we have been talking about the wedding for so long all of our other friends going are also gutted by this too. To make matters worse I've just realised that it falls on father's day. My husband is great dad and we are both big on spending time together as a family.

My husband friend has to run everything past her she is very much the boss. So it's no surprise he has had no input into the wedding, but I just thought of all days why fathers day with no kids allowed. We both agree it's going to taint the day for us now.

As soon as I got the date I would have put in diary and found it was Father's Day

Bride and groom chose whether to have kids. They said no

To me it was obvious from her comment at previous wedding

You have a choice whether to go or not

You have decided to stay at home with kids and dh go

That's fine

No, it really is just two people, not whole families. My family and my ex DH family live in different countries. They met the night before the wedding and then never met after the wedding day.

Back in the days when weddings were 40 minutes in the local church for followed by cake and tea in the village hall they were great for kids, but now they’re completely unsuitable. The day is extremely long - 10-12 hours from beginning to end is usual, ferociously expensive, and let’s face it, they’re mostly pretty boring - lots of hanging around, heavy drinking, course after course of food, tedious speeches, etc. etc. The only good bit is the disco. I don’t want my kids in that environment, and I want to chat to friends and family, not wrangle two over tired, over hyped, over hungry kids - they’re not even interested in the food after the starter. I took my DD (then about 4) to a wedding and she was full after the soup and bored and annoying for the following 2 hours. And they have to be looked after ALL DAY. No, get a sitter if you want to go.

That is different to telling people you are not inviting your nieces or nephews because you are "giving their parents a break".

I am not saying parents don't want to attend a wedding without their kids in tow and I am not saying they shouldnt have a child free wedding. What I said is people should own their decision if they decide they want a child free wedding not try and pass it off as doing parents a favour. The reality is they don't want kids there and it's fine to say that.

Wow. I'm sorry you keep such terrible company that children are all that make life entertaining for you. I can promise you most people can have an amazing time without kids

The bride doesn't sound like she likes her husband to be very much either TBH.

You really reached this damning conclusion from her posts 😂 😆 😂 😆. Mumsnet favorite criticism.

Your post actually made me laugh out loud. How do you read so much into something that isn’t there 😂😂😂

Am I the only one who thought my guests were doing me the honour by being there? They took time out of their day and spent their money to attend my wedding. I appreciated them doing so. I didn't feel like I was bestowing some huge honour on them to invite them and they should be delighted to be a guest at my wedding because it was oh so special. I really appreciated that they were going to trouble for me.

@loverofalmonds I did not know until the reception!!

Except in some faiths weddings are always on a Sunday so it would be perfectly normal

I think the clue is in the word some.
I have never been to a Sunday wedding, and I know perfectly well that Sunday weddings exist, but I think that it is still unusual for most people to get married in the UK on Sunday.

There’s a difference between “unusual” and “why pretend it is normal, of course it’s not!” I think Toodle was objecting to the latter.

Yes it is - but they also need to accept that they are causing childcare problems for their guests and not get upset if they can’t go.

Agreed. It’s arrogant when there’s plenty of British Jews, for example, in the U.K. and the would have their wedding on a Sunday.

pretty sure that her intention had never been for babies to join guests only invited to the evening do

but… she obviously really wanted you there so said he could come

so if you didn’t know until all these extra guests turned up

how were they seated and fed?

Exactly this! We are all aware that British Jews often get married on a Sunday, but the % of Jews in the UK is very small - less than 300,000 in the UK, and in Islam, the most common day for getting married is a Friday. Hindus look at the Astrological charts to find a suitable day, and I believe Sikhs generally find a suitable time for all, and often the wedding will tip over into several days. They don't automatically pick Sunday!

It is not 'arrogant' to state that Sunday is an unusual day to have a wedding. Of course it is! We have a Church 5 minutes walk from where we live, and in 12 years of living here, I have NEVER known a wedding on a Sunday. My DD's partner's mother works in a registry office and THEY have never had a wedding on a Sunday. Nor have they ever known of one at any other registry office. (Most would be closed on a Sunday!)

My aunt works in a big wedding venue that has the long 10-12 hour weddings and where people stay overnight, and she said SHE has never known a wedding on a Sunday. Not at her venue, or any one she has ever known of.

Yes of course it happens, and I am not saying Sunday weddings don't exist, but it is not rude or 'arrogant' to state a fact; Sunday weddings ARE unusual! I don't know why a few posters are locking horns with people on here about this. It IS unusual to have a wedding on a Sunday in the UK. That's a fact. I don't know why people are getting their panties in a bunch regarding this. How odd.

Sunday weddings are not unusual.

They are in churches for obvious reasons. But they aren’t the only places people get married.

Hotels often have weddings on Sundays all summer long.

Exactly. Lots of people don’t get married in churches. There are a multitude of cultures in this country.

I would not be surprised if I received a wedding invitation for any day of the week. It’s not unusual unless you only have church mates.

@SabreIsMyFave

I’m not “getting my panties in a bunch”, I think calling other people’s UK cultural norms unusual is arrogant. Not to mention the fact that due to costs and the non-church going population, any day of the week is quite common. That’s just my opinion.

Totally agree with this! I bent over backwards for my guests as I was so pleased they were spending their day with us and I know weddings end up costing guests ££ so I was honestly chuffed!

Apologies OP, not trying to hijack your thread..
@loverofalmonds DF and DM came up a week before the wedding. (DH and i had moved to the Peak District from the south coast). Parents came up to "help out" but really to have a little holiday with me before the wedding. DH and I worked until the Friday (Saturday wedding) but saw them in the evenings.We were already booked in the country house hotel ballroom for the reception as we had 200 guests coming for the evening, so space wasn't an issue. he had sorted everything out behind our backs whilst we were at work. The hotel must have been delighted at the additional covers - reason we ended up with so many randoms from my work, neighbours and people's parents must have been to fill the additional seats he had booked. He paid for the reception even though we had not expected him to and had budgeted for it ourselves. He was always a bit of a last minute Larry, flashing the cash, bless him.

Not in a church you can’t. Many registrars also don’t work Sundays. I’ve worked in hospitality for years at a country club, every Saturday from April to October was booked up year on year for weddings. And a few random Saturdays for the rest of the year. Not in ten or more years did anyone have a Sunday wedding. It’s unusual, but it is cheaper.

Yep exactly this! As I said earlier, I know people who work for a registry office AND a wedding venue, and according to them, Sunday Weddings are rarer than hens teeth! Indeed, the wedding venue lady (my aunt,) said she has never known a wedding on a Sunday at her venue - or any other she knows of. And the registry office lady said it wouldn't happen there because they're not open on a Sunday!

And as I said, I live near a Church, and not in 12 years of living here have I seen a wedding on a Sunday. People can say they have had a Sunday wedding by all means, and I'm sure they have, but suggesting/implying it's a normal day for a wedding is just ludicrous and laughable. Of course it's not! A few posters on here are really digging their heels in regarding this, and are just desperate to be right!!! But it's farcical, because everyone knows a wedding on a Sunday is very unusual for most, and it rarely happens! 😆

I'm going to two Sunday weddings this year in hotels and I went to a christening recently in a church on a Sunday.

This is so weird.

Sundays in summer aren’t often cheaper in a lot of venues, because they are sought after days.

I worked in hospitality in various roles, including wedding planner. It absolutely is very usual to have Sunday weddings.

Wedding doesn’t mean church wedding. Registrars do work Sundays. As they did the weddings I was organising. Which would be about 25-30 sunday weddings per year.

In peak season we had weddings Friday, saturday and Sunday. As did all the other hotels, in the large city I worked in. And this isn’t just recent. I started in hospitality when I was 16 and worked in until my early thirties, so left about 8 years ago. Always worked Sunday weddings.