£320 for hen night.. I'm not even invited to the wedding

[mrsoodles]

Ok so..

I said I would go to the hen night, figured it'd cost in/around £150 and tbh was quite looking forward to a facial/massage.

But..

£320?

Absolutely not. How do I word the text that I'm not going? I'm definitely not going.

Problem is, the bride and family know I can afford it. I don't even want to go to the wedding either. I literally just don't want to pay £320 for something I'm not overly fussed on.

Help dear MNers

I would actually decline on the fact it’s 2 hours away from your kids. I would never want to be a 2 hour drive from my daughter, if something happened I’d hate having to drive that far to get back to them!
I mean surely there are 3 star hotels that do mini half hour pamper sessions within a few miles of where you all live ? Or does the bride live hours away from you?

to be honest I would just tell aunt you won’t be going because you don’t want to drive and don’t want to spend that much money on one night etc…

They'll get over it, you don’t even sound that close if you’ve not met your own cousins groom to be…. And aren’t invited to the ‘close family’ wedding……

Cant you book a weekend away with your family for that weekend (probably cost the same!) and then message and say
I am so sorry but we’ve booked a week away with the kids and I’ve just been talking to husband about the hen do and he’s pointed out the clash! I’m ever so sorry but it means I won’t be able to attend

I agree with this.

I find it rude expecting you to pay for taking part in a hen party, but not being invited to the actual wedding.

If they continue to act like this, no one will be going to their wedding or hen larty

Use the old excuse. Oh dear, I’ve caught COVID! I don’t want to give it to you or your guests for the wedding blah blah.

I really wouldn't do that.

If you cancel last minute, you - or some other poor sucker - will still have to pay for everything.

Just politely refuse. If your DM is worried about what your Daunt will say , then she can give you the £320 to pay for it.

"I don't want to pay it to go away with a lot of strangers,*"
*
There you are. Be honest. It's very simple. You won't know many people there and you just don't want to spend that much money on one night away.

When did this world change so much, that telling a bride that your no longer interested in her hen night, becomes everyone else's buisness?
Just tell her that having read the program you feel it is not for you.
That it has nothing to do with costs, just that as a married mother your don't wish to leave your children at this time.

£320 for 1 night plus a mini treatment, no food or drink included. 19 hours max in a 3 star hotel probably sharing a room with a stranger.
I wouldn't even contemplate it, not even if I had millions.
Just say it's a price you don't want to pay and don't explain further. ----

The first message you wrote is totally fine 🙂.
@Mars27
People are often invited to the party after the meal. It's quite common. Of course my wedding was 40 people in the back garden. Went home by bus.
@mackthepony
My daughter, many years ago, went to a hen's do in Cyprus which is a hop, skip and a jump from us and cheap.