Page 10 | Help me reveal secret wedding plans to fiance!

Futball13 · 2023-02-06T10:56:41+00:00

So we have two young children, been engaged five years. He has dropped the odd hint. About a month ago I found 'the dress' and thought I may as well continue with the plans. Its a smallish affair at a country house with 28 family and friends. It's all planned for Easter Saturday, everyone knows apart from the groom! I have to get him to sign the marriage notice forms so plan to tell him on Valentines Day. Any bright ideas on a fun way of breaking the news?

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 18:44

Confusion101 · 06/02/2023 18:19

Not once has OP asked for any of your opinions on her decision. She asked for ideas on how to surprise a man she knows and loves. So if ye aren't going to give her those ideas why are ye on this thread?? 😅

Well said. He proposed fully expecting me to initiate plans, I just didn't for 5 years. Thought it'd be a nice surprise. End of story.

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 18:46

Bluebellsand · 06/02/2023 14:23

Wow, I know few men who would love this. No hassle wedding! I would also have love this. As it was, dm planned everything and we just gave her money and I attended the dress fitting.

Some people called me lazy but dm got a big buzz out of it. And most importantly dh approved of doing it this way. He gets along with dm a lot.

You are engaged, which means your finance agreed to get married. Full stop. If someone agrees to get married, then there is no railroading. Unless he wanted to be over involved in the planning and controlling. He still has time cancel getting married. He is not at the altar.

I just hope you haven't spent joined income yet.

I know someone whose mother organised it all too. A lot of people hate the hassle, and in my experience those are mostly men.

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 18:48

ShellsOnTheBeach · 06/02/2023 14:02

Oh, @Futball13- I sincerely hope you have a Plan B...

Sure if he doesn't want to be here he can leave at any point. No forcing going on whatsoever. He consents to living here and being with me and he proposed. Says it all I think.

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 18:50

Love the idea. Might do that on valentines night.

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 18:53

R0ckets · 06/02/2023 14:05

Genuinely staggered at this thread. I mean I love surprises but this is beyond a surprise! It's bloody insane to book, plan and organise a wedding without the knowledge of one part of the couple!!

What happens when he says no? Because even the most laid back, not fussed, surprise loving person would be mad to say anything else.

Why would he be mad. He marries the person he proposed to. Shouldn't he be happy? And gets to skip the planning which I know he will have no interest in. If he says no surely he should just leave.

Johnnysgirl · 06/02/2023 18:58

HE PROPOSED. so basically his idea to get married!! He is hardly being forced. He is hardly being forced. On driving past a wedding dress shop with a queue one day (when I was pregnant) he said you could look in there someday. As I said he's not a talker, this is his way of hinting to get going with the plans...maybe he has thought all these years that I was not keen

Is that what you are taking as his proposal? 😬😬😬
He's not a talker, so he has to obliquely hint his way through life, and hope he's not misinterpreted? This is pure insanity, op.

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:01

No he did propose with a diamond ring. A surprise proposal with a ring he picked. Shock horror I did not get a say in this.

Johnnysgirl · 06/02/2023 19:01

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 18:41

Abusive!! Oh my word this has totally been blown out of proportion.

Show quote history

Not really.
He lives in a house paid for by you. You're spending 10 grand of your own money funding this wedding, which you think he's gagging for because he hinted once whilst driving past a wedding shop.
Oh, dear...

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:03

He proposed!! How's it abusive because I own my own house? And I haven't paid deposits yet, just bought my dress.

BadNomad · 06/02/2023 19:03

Yeah you don't sound controlling or abusive at all.

"If he doesn't want to marry me in the way I want, on the day that I have chosen, then he can just get out of the house that I have paid for."

DestinysGrandchild · 06/02/2023 19:04

Go and tell him now about your plan.

DestinysGrandchild · 06/02/2023 19:06

If he actually says he doesn't want to get married on the day you've planned are you happy to stay with him?

R0ckets · 06/02/2023 19:13

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:03

He proposed!! How's it abusive because I own my own house? And I haven't paid deposits yet, just bought my dress.

You've not paid any deposits for a wedding thats happening in 2 months time? That's very unusual....

Also why are you ignoring the posters asking why you don't just tell him the plan and let him get involved? Why the need to keep it all so hush gush? You're both adults why can't you just sit down to eat tonight tell him you've found a dress, have an idea of a venue and ask if he wants to get married at Easter?

Confusion101 · 06/02/2023 19:14

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:01

No he did propose with a diamond ring. A surprise proposal with a ring he picked. Shock horror I did not get a say in this.

A surprise proposal!!?? Did he not let u pick how you would like to be proposed to or your own ring? Aagghh... Sounds like he's trying to push you into marriage. Run! 😜😜😜

HyggeTygge · 06/02/2023 19:18

Has OP had a huge namechange fail? No-one will be reading OP's posts if @Sandals12 is the OP.

Johnnysgirl · 06/02/2023 19:19

Op, have you really sent invitations detailing a venue you haven't paid a booking deposit on? For Easter weekend?
This sounds like a farce of epic proportions.

BadNomad · 06/02/2023 19:27

I wonder if he's getting a say in what house they are buying together, or if she's just going to hand him a key one day and say "There you go."

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:42

HyggeTygge · 06/02/2023 19:18

Has OP had a huge namechange fail? No-one will be reading OP's posts if @Sandals12 is the OP.

Didn't mean to change, this was a previous one but didn't mean to.

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:43

Johnnysgirl · 06/02/2023 19:19

Op, have you really sent invitations detailing a venue you haven't paid a booking deposit on? For Easter weekend?
This sounds like a farce of epic proportions.

It's definitely booked in. Up to venue when they take deposit.

OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit · 06/02/2023 19:46

Confusion101 · 06/02/2023 19:14

A surprise proposal!!?? Did he not let u pick how you would like to be proposed to or your own ring? Aagghh... Sounds like he's trying to push you into marriage. Run! 😜😜😜

Show quote history

But the OP isn't doing the equivalent of a surprise proposal, she is doing the equivalent of a huge public proposal that puts the person being proposed to under pressure to say yes - think flash mobs, big screen at a sporting event etc. It's not romantic it manipulative.

GoldDuster · 06/02/2023 19:46

There are more holes in this than a sieve!

Confusion101 · 06/02/2023 19:47

OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit · 06/02/2023 19:46

But the OP isn't doing the equivalent of a surprise proposal, she is doing the equivalent of a huge public proposal that puts the person being proposed to under pressure to say yes - think flash mobs, big screen at a sporting event etc. It's not romantic it manipulative.

Show quote history

Unless the person proposing knows that that big public proposal is exactly what their other half would love 😜

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:47

R0ckets · 06/02/2023 19:13

You've not paid any deposits for a wedding thats happening in 2 months time? That's very unusual....

Also why are you ignoring the posters asking why you don't just tell him the plan and let him get involved? Why the need to keep it all so hush gush? You're both adults why can't you just sit down to eat tonight tell him you've found a dress, have an idea of a venue and ask if he wants to get married at Easter?

Show quote history

I'm not ignoring as such because it wasn't my original query. It's just how I decided to go about things. I could ask why fiance didn't include me in the ring choosing when he proposed. Or when someone plans other surprises, sure you could ask why wasn't it all discussed beforehand.

Perhaps I know the surprise element will make it more special.

Johnnysgirl · 06/02/2023 19:50

Confusion101 · 06/02/2023 19:47

Unless the person proposing knows that that big public proposal is exactly what their other half would love 😜

Show quote history

If you keep up this thing of speaking as if you know the op and her other half intimately - people are going to think you're a sock puppet.

Sandals12 · 06/02/2023 19:50

OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit · 06/02/2023 19:46

But the OP isn't doing the equivalent of a surprise proposal, she is doing the equivalent of a huge public proposal that puts the person being proposed to under pressure to say yes - think flash mobs, big screen at a sporting event etc. It's not romantic it manipulative.

Show quote history

Surely he has already said yes by proposing. Some women are on the ball right away with wedding plans...some wait...like me.