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Original poster

Unique ways to ask bridesmaids.

172 replies

onethingonly · 16/01/2022 15:58

I'm not a fan of the proposal boxes but I'm looking for unique ideas to ask my bridesmaids to be part of my wedding party. Something that they maybe wouldn't suspect and are totally surprised by for example using an everyday activity/item.

Hope that's not too specific 😂

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 16/01/2022 15:59

I asked one of mine whilst driving to a walk. She burst into (happy) tears and I had to pull over. Not very fancy, but very surprising?

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 16/01/2022 16:03

My sister asked us all differently in ways that were personal to us.
So for our other sister she sent a bunch of flowers to her workplace with the question in the card, sister has never flowers sent to her place of work.
For her best friend it was a board with chocolate bars and words.
And for me she got ds to ask me, she'd had him for the day, so got him all dressed up and when she bought him home, said "ds, you've got a question for mummy haven't you?" And he asked.

She has 2 other friends she hasn't asked yet.

My best friend got us all, "I have a really important question" box that when opened had the question on a card with a charm that was tied round our bouquets on the day, was really cute.

Doidontimmm · 17/01/2022 07:08

I’m older & really don’t understand this new trend, it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour. Am I just old? I simply asked mine face to face, didn’t need gimmicks.

KatherineofGaunt · 17/01/2022 07:11

I just texted my friends/ cousin to ask!

I did, though, for the two young bridesmaids, give them a present each and inside was a dressing gown with their name and "Mini Bridesmaid" on it. I wanted it to be special to them as they were only about 8/9 at the time.

Doidontimmm · 17/01/2022 07:15

I totally get that @KatherineofGaunt with the wee ones as it’s so exciting for them, but grown adults? I’m getting married again this year and simply asked my teen daughter.

toomuchlaundry · 17/01/2022 07:16

What’s a proposal box?

Is this a new trend for social media?

JustJam4Tea · 17/01/2022 07:21

I’ve never heard of this. I can’t imagine being so happy to be asked….

user1641832968632486258 · 17/01/2022 07:23

Do they not know you're getting married? I don't see how they can be that surprised.

Given how many people get married, "unique" ways to ask a routine question seems optimistic.

it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour.

I have to agree. I suppose it's another toxic extension of women being encouraged to view marriage as some prize a man bestows upon them rather than a joint decision made about their lives.

Sorry, I just find it weird to treat your life like a game show.

YourenutsmiLord · 17/01/2022 07:26

I'm a bit of an introvert and being a bridesmaid was a duty I had to perform - I did get a locket or something the first time......... no tears of joy here.

ZenNudist · 17/01/2022 07:30

Just ask. Not everything has to be an Instagram ready moment.

Don't be too put out if your friends aren't overcome with emotion.

rrhuth · 17/01/2022 07:35

This seems very over-the-top. Just ask them nicely, and give them space to accept or decline as normal.

Being a bridesmaid is not always a big deal. Getting married is a big deal and rightly important to you but other people have other things in their lives beyond your wedding.

rrhuth · 17/01/2022 07:37

Here is a bridesmaid proposal box example: www.theprettybox.co.uk/products/name-heart-proposal-box

Honestly this sort of caper is Hmm to me!

ufucoffee · 17/01/2022 07:39

I agree that being bridesmaid isn't that big a deal even though I understand you being very excited about getting married. Just message or FaceTime them or something

rookiemere · 17/01/2022 07:40

Congratulations!
I suspect the key question the bridemaids to be will want to know is how much they will be expected to pay. So whilst asking let them know you'll be covering the price of the BM dress and make up and hair if you want them to have it professionally done.

RaininSummer · 17/01/2022 07:41

This just seems to add to the pressure unless you know your friends would love the whole bridesmaid thing . I was asked to be a bridesmaid once and was so pleased I had a clashing event as the whole thing seemed too much for me.

CarlatheJackal · 17/01/2022 07:42

Skywriting, or weedkiller on their lawn if you've got time up your sleeve

ImInStealthMode · 17/01/2022 07:42

I did get my mine 'will you be my Bridesmaid?' cards but that was more to do with the fact they were reduced to £1 for a box of 6 in paperchase and I thought they were cute.

Otherwise I'd have just asked.

Musmerian · 17/01/2022 07:42

This is all part of the huge conspiracy to persuade girls and women that this one day is the most important of their lives and to get them to part with huge swathes of cash. Seriously- it’s bonkers.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 17/01/2022 07:43

I didn't realise this was a thing?
I was just asked 'normally', didn't cry years of joy just inwardly thought ffs to be honest.HmmBlush

Kittykat93 · 17/01/2022 07:43

@Doidontimmm

I’m older & really don’t understand this new trend, it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour. Am I just old? I simply asked mine face to face, didn’t need gimmicks.

I'm in my 20s and agree with this. The same as announcing pregnancy, gender reveals, etc. I just asked/told people.

rookiemere · 17/01/2022 07:47

@CarlatheJackal

Skywriting, or weedkiller on their lawn if you've got time up your sleeve
GrinGrin
TheThirdKit · 17/01/2022 07:48

Oh god, is this a real thing now? It just sounds so contrived and over the top. It's not a great honour to be a bridesmaid, but should be fun and a bit of a laugh. Hope they aren't going to be tasked with a load of onerous jobs like they are in the US where the whole thing is some huge chore bound with unrealistic expectation. Your wedding should of course be a big deal for you, but honestly, is probably not that big a deal for anyone else.

AuntieMarys · 17/01/2022 07:50

I'm very glad I had no bridesmaids at either of my weddings, if this is now a thing. I avoided hen dos, baby showers and bloody gender reveals too.

LakeShoreD · 17/01/2022 07:51

This is really cringe unless you’re talking about small children. Also, it’s not usually a surprise when someone asks you to be a bridesmaid. Generally if, for example, your best friend since school gets engaged and they were your bridesmaid a few years back there’s a very good chance they’ll ask you to return the favour so you’ll see it coming as soon as they get engaged.

PurpleDaisies · 17/01/2022 07:51

Just ask them.