Unique ways to ask bridesmaids.

[onethingonly]

I'm not a fan of the proposal boxes but I'm looking for unique ideas to ask my bridesmaids to be part of my wedding party. Something that they maybe wouldn't suspect and are totally surprised by for example using an everyday activity/item.

Hope that's not too specific 😂

More American influenced shite just ask your friends / family members , or is that hot enough for Instagram likes ?

These days it would be unique to use a landline telephone to ring them.

There are some right misers here.
I'm trying to think of a way to ask my best friend to be my maid of honour. Not because it's a great honour for her but because I'd be so incredibly grateful to have such a fantastic woman walk down the aisle with me.

OP do you have a budget? What about some personalised converse?

I would only do this if you were sure they were going to say yes to being a bridesmaid. This isn’t the kind of thing that should come as a complete surprise.

Also if you make a big deal about this, you may make the job of being a bridesmaid seem very daunting.

Oh god, just ask them straight out. A "thing" is really twee and adds so much pressure on them to "react" and immediately say yes.
When in reality they might be thinking am I free that weekend, can I afford it, can I get childcare etc.
The exception is if they're young children, in which case a balloon or teddy with a card would be very sweet.

You're not proposing to them. Just ask them like a normal person. Don't expect them to fall over in raptures either. I would be horrified if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid (admittedly unlikely at my age) and doing it in some cutesy way would just make it worse.

This isn’t the kind of thing that should come as a complete surprise.

Although the same ought to be true of the marriage "proposal" itself, yet women are still fed the 1850s view that it is a prize to be bestowed upon them for being a good woman rather than a decision to be made together.

Ugh. It's embarrassing to be part of perpetuating such toxic norms.

Ok I’m so confused… how on earth does personalised converse have anything at all to do with being asked to be a bridesmaid?

Personalised converse? Given new converse start at £50 for low tops, presumably personalised is at least 4x that unless it’s you with a sharpie on a pair of plimsolls? Why???!! This bears all the marks of making it desperately difficult for someone to say no, while also presenting g the hallmarks of a rampant bridezilla and a job they really won’t want to do. Invite them for lunch (separately) and ask. With a clear definition of what it involves and what you expect them to pay for and what you will be covering. And be gracious if they’re unable to do it. Go with class rather than bling. Less Kardashian, more Jackie O. (Which means sending a handwritten card immediately after said lunch, with either grateful thanks or gracious acknowledgment. Remember your wedding is not the highlight of their lives)

It's not a cute new tradition, it's a new income stream for the wedding industry after 2 years of reduced profits.

Also - not everyone loves being a bridesmaid. I've done it a fair few times and depending on the wedding, it can be a fairly big commitment in terms of time, energy and expense. If it weren't someone immediately close to me (ie my sister or best mate) I might think "aaaargh" before I think "yes please."
Being a wedding guest with no pressure is more fun!

@Doidontimmm

I’m older & really don’t understand this new trend, it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour. Am I just old? I simply asked mine face to face, didn’t need gimmicks.

I agree. Just bloody ask them.

Not everything has to be instagrammable.

I think I speak for many people here when I say

Why?

As for calling people "misers" for not going along with this, no.

If someone asks for suggestions on how to do something silly, the right thing to do is to warn them off.

If someone asked for advice on how to fly their car off a cliff, you'd tell them it was a bad idea not give them tips "because they asked so I'll help" .

@Hathertonhariden

It's not a cute new tradition, it's a new income stream for the wedding industry after 2 years of reduced profits.

Absolutely. This shite is part of the reason that modern weddings are apparently so expensive.

Well they don't have to be. You can choose to ignore all this nonsense - the wedding will be just as valid and probably a lot more personal to you.

@Doidontimmm

Ok I’m so confused… how on earth does personalised converse have anything at all to do with being asked to be a bridesmaid?

Erm because she could get 'bridesmaid' embroidered on them and get them made with the wedding colours. They could be used at the hen party and even the wedding day when everyone switches out their shoes for comfies, but are discrete enough that she wouldn't look unusual wearing them in normal life with a pair of jeans after the wedding?

Personalised converse? Given new converse start at £50 for low tops, presumably personalised is at least 4x that unless it’s you with a sharpie on a pair of plimsolls?

They're like £70

@girlmom21

There are some right misers here. I'm trying to think of a way to ask my best friend to be my maid of honour. Not because it's a great honour for her but because I'd be so incredibly grateful to have such a fantastic woman walk down the aisle with me.

OP do you have a budget? What about some personalised converse?

What's wrong with words?

@user1641832968632486258 what's wrong with a sentimental keepsake or a nice gift to say please/thank you?

Someone asked my DC to be a bridesmaid recently with a box and they filmed the whole thing - it was confusing for her and cringe. Why? Because she'll love it but all the fuss implies it's the moment she's been waiting for her entire life, it's very self important and superficial.

Live in the real world, not the social media world. People wish you well for your wedding but it's not some magical dream.

Erm because she could get 'bridesmaid' embroidered on them and get them made with the wedding colours. They could be used at the hen party and even the wedding day when everyone switches out their shoes for comfies, but are discrete enough that she wouldn't look unusual wearing them in normal life with a pair of jeans after the wedding?

The scary thing is I can't tell if you're serious or not.

What sane woman would want to wear shoes with "bridesmaid" written on them for longer than is necessary to humour the bride on the day of the wedding?

Who's going to wear wedding-colour-match bridesmaid converse to the supermarket?

The thing about being a bridesmaid is that it is often very expensive and time consuming. You therefore need to have a pretty clear understanding of expectations before you ask somebody to do the job and give them space to say no.

@girlmom21

There are some right misers here. I'm trying to think of a way to ask my best friend to be my maid of honour. Not because it's a great honour for her but because I'd be so incredibly grateful to have such a fantastic woman walk down the aisle with me.

OP do you have a budget? What about some personalised converse?

If I was your best friend, a hand written card saying exactly what you said here would mean so much more than a pair of shoes that I hadn't chosen myself.

"Erm because she could get 'bridesmaid' embroidered on them and get them made with the wedding colours. They could be used at the hen party and even the wedding day when everyone switches out their shoes for comfies, but are discrete enough that she wouldn't look unusual wearing them in normal life with a pair of jeans after the wedding?*

You think converse with "bridesmaid" embroided on them would be a desirable gift?

I'm really glad no-one I know does this shit.

Oh good lord has this become another performance moment?