Unique ways to ask bridesmaids.

[onethingonly]

I'm not a fan of the proposal boxes but I'm looking for unique ideas to ask my bridesmaids to be part of my wedding party. Something that they maybe wouldn't suspect and are totally surprised by for example using an everyday activity/item.

Hope that's not too specific 😂

I’m another old bat who got married a long time ago and didn’t realise this was now a thing. No wonder people on here keep saying they “can’t afford to get married” if they think they’re expected to buy proposal boxes and other ludicrous tat. As someone already said, why turn your life into a game show? (Sorry, OP, you did ask).

So, so glad I'm older and also beginning to be more grateful for never having been one to have friendship groups.

To quote a younger friend, this stuff is a complete ballache.

@girlmom21

There are some right misers here. I'm trying to think of a way to ask my best friend to be my maid of honour. Not because it's a great honour for her but because I'd be so incredibly grateful to have such a fantastic woman walk down the aisle with me.

OP do you have a budget? What about some personalised converse?

But clearly you do think it's a great honour otherwise you wouldn't be feeling the need to make a fuss about it.

If she's your best friend I can't imagine it's going to be the surprise of the century, in fact she'd probably be surprised if you didn't ask her.

Now there's an idea that has legs. Consolation prizes with letters of commiseration for the unlucky cows who thought you'd ask, but they didn't make the cut. Maybe a poem?

Dear Almost-Ran,

I know it's such an honour
And I know you really wanna
Though you are beautiful and fun
Sadly you are not the one
I like the others better
So I'm writing you this letter
Dry your tears and don't be sad
It's really not so bad
I've earmarked you
For when I marry husband 2.

Love Bridezilla

@AtillatheHun

Personalised converse? Given new converse start at £50 for low tops, presumably personalised is at least 4x that unless it’s you with a sharpie on a pair of plimsolls? Why???!! This bears all the marks of making it desperately difficult for someone to say no, while also presenting g the hallmarks of a rampant bridezilla and a job they really won’t want to do. Invite them for lunch (separately) and ask. With a clear definition of what it involves and what you expect them to pay for and what you will be covering. And be gracious if they’re unable to do it. Go with class rather than bling. Less Kardashian, more Jackie O. (Which means sending a handwritten card immediately after said lunch, with either grateful thanks or gracious acknowledgment. Remember your wedding is not the highlight of their lives)

Excellent post.

This thread is so bloody miserable.

OP, congratulations on your engagement! I'm sure your bridesmaids will be delighted to be asked (well, unless they're one of the grumps on this thread that is, fingers crossed they aren't!). Enjoy the wedding build up!

I'm sure your bridesmaids will be delighted to be asked (well, unless they're one of the grumps on this thread that is, fingers crossed they aren't!).

I’m sure they will too. I’m sure their delight will not be any different if accompanied by personalised converse trainers.

@PurpleDaisies

I'm sure your bridesmaids will be delighted to be asked (well, unless they're one of the grumps on this thread that is, fingers crossed they aren't!).

I’m sure they will too. I’m sure their delight will not be any different if accompanied by personalised converse trainers.

You'll find OP never once mentioned these converse yous are all yapping on about.

SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch

That's impressive:)

You'll find OP never once mentioned these converse yous are all yapping on about.

Ok.
I’m sure they will too. I’m sure their delight will not be any different without incorporating someone that they maybe wouldn't suspect and are totally surprised by for example using an everyday activity/item

@PurpleDaisies

I'm sure your bridesmaids will be delighted to be asked (well, unless they're one of the grumps on this thread that is, fingers crossed they aren't!).

I’m sure they will too. I’m sure their delight will not be any different if accompanied by personalised converse trainers.

Or personalised hand sanitiser as suggested by one of the many tat-flogging websites that came up when I googled proposal boxes.

What's the expression? A fool and her money are easily parted?

Look at the converse idea - if they are £70 and you have 3 bridesmaids, that's £210 before you've even started properly planning the wedding. And what about the best man, does he get converse too?

Yes. And the ushers. Oops sorry, I mean groomsmen. Ushers are just so passe and so British. Everyone has groomsmen these days. Because who wouldn't want to pretend to be American?

@PurpleDaisies

You'll find OP never once mentioned these converse yous are all yapping on about.

Ok.
I’m sure they will too. I’m sure their delight will not be any different without incorporating someone that they maybe wouldn't suspect and are totally surprised by for example using an everyday activity/item

I'm going to assume OP knows them better than you, so probably best to let her decide that one!

You'll find OP never once mentioned these converse yous are all yapping on about.

Have you not encountered symbolism before?

Don’t get sucker into the whole ridiculous social media wedding competition. It’s ridiculous and totally devoid of what the whole concept of what marriage is actually about.

This. Proposal boxes and personalised converse? If someone asked me using one of these methods I'd be seriously concerned about what on earth I'd be letting myself in for tbh if there was so much drama around even asking me

How about either:

You phone: "Hi Sarah, we go back a long way, and I've got something really special to ask you - you know we are getting married on [date], would you like to be our bridesmaid?"

Or

Send a little note "Hi Sarah - I think you are a wonderful friend and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have by my side on our Wedding Day - I'd be honoured if you would be my Maid of Honour? Can't wait to speak to you soon! xxx"

Seriously?! Please do give them the opportunity to say no, and give yourself and them a little less drama in your lives!!

@SeeMyLanyardAndWeepBitch I've got 6 sisters so there's a good chance she doesn't expect to be asked.

You're saying 'modern' things are attention seeking and shallow so should we assume your own wedding was modest, you wore a beige dress and walked to the church?

I don't know why people are choosing to be so derogatory and dismissive.

People have different likes and dislikes.

OP is excited for her wedding. People don't need to piss all over it.

Hire Melissa Mcarthy and Kristen Wiig to record a Cameo message?

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

You could hire a Honey Monster costume and ask her wearing that. (You have to do the voice though.)

I don't think that's been done yet, but maybe it has...

I’m going to run my next team meeting like this

@draramallama

You'll find OP never once mentioned these converse yous are all yapping on about.

Have you not encountered symbolism before?

Struggling to see anything past the bunch of bitter, patronising, judgmental comments on here to be honest.

Why on earth you all have chosen to come on, and drag the OP, on a topic which you all appear so passionate about whilst simultaneously exclaiming your distaste for.

You can almost taste the glee of some of the commenters on this. It's pathetic

Have you not encountered symbolism before?

It’s the unique and surprising that is the problem.

I agree that the OP wasn’t talking about spending money, but it’s still wise to be cautious about putting somebody in a difficult position where they don’t feel they can say no.

It's very easy to get into the wedding industry world and start thinking that all sorts of things are absolutely essential for a wedding. You can very easily get so all consumed by this huge event that you think everyone else is just as wrapped up in it. Friends and family have their own agendas so having a site that can bring some realism into your thinking is no bad thing. Some comments could be better phrased but perhaps might be the ones that get through to the bride.

No wedding magazine is going to be keen to point out that an invitation to be a BM might not be welcome when their advertisers are wanting to plug endless tat and personalised items that will be in the bin before the first anniversary.

@mrsbyers

More American influenced shite just ask your friends / family members , or is that hot enough for Instagram likes ?

It really is. I thought baby showers were bad enough.

Seriously it's only the bride and groom that are that excited about a wedding.
If my bridesmaids started crying I'd assume they had something else going on!

However that said, you do you!

Wow, what a debate you are all having amongst yourselves here. I better screenshot it for my "gram".

I didn't ask whether you thought it was a good idea, I asked for suggestions of a small token or way of requesting my friends to join me on my wedding day.

And for the record, I am aware of the responsibilities that often come with being a bridesmaid as I have been one several times... and no I myself didn't enjoy it.

However I have two outgoing and fun loving friends who will be surprised by my question and would very much appreciate it to be something a bit out of the ordinary.

Thank you to those who didn't give a smarmy response.

However I have two outgoing and fun loving friends who will be surprised by my question and would very much appreciate it to be something a bit out of the ordinary.

But, will they want to be bridesmaids?

OP read the room: you don't know MN if you think this kind of topic would go down well. It's not the place where baby showers/ excessive frills of a wedding will be appreciated.