Unique ways to ask bridesmaids.

[onethingonly]

I'm not a fan of the proposal boxes but I'm looking for unique ideas to ask my bridesmaids to be part of my wedding party. Something that they maybe wouldn't suspect and are totally surprised by for example using an everyday activity/item.

Hope that's not too specific 😂

@merrymouse

Almost certainly, and if on the very rare chance they do politely decline - I'll understand and respect it. I wouldn't want to do it again if it were me. 😂

@Puffalicious

You're right... I must have missed the 100+ comments until I got to yours.

And for people worrying about how I spend my time and the (very limited) content I post on social media....you're all having a field day grumping on an app...made for people to be sociable.

Adding my voice to the suggestion of just asking them. ie Speak to them.

I'm also puzzled at the concept that it will be a great surprise to the people asked to be bridesmaid........ do people no longer ask the most obvious person / people anymore - the woman / women that you are closest to ?

it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour.

Yep. That and the fact that it's this stuff that leads to young people being blamed for not being able to buy homes. They're too busy spending their money on smashed avocados on toast and completely unnecessary wedding related stuff.

@saraclara

it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour.

Yep. That and the fact that it's this stuff that leads to young people being blamed for not being able to buy homes. They're too busy spending their money on smashed avocados on toast and completely unnecessary wedding related stuff.

Exactly!

Also, thanks to this thread I googled proposal boxes, which I'd never heard of before. And now I blame etsy for all this. It's the new MLM isn't it? Got to hobbycraft, make a container out of cardboard, decorate it and fill it with tissue and pointless crap.

"Oh, I've got my own little business in wedding planning..."
No, you make pointless crap that brides now feel they HAVE to have.

@onethingonly

Wow, what a debate you are all having amongst yourselves here. I better screenshot it for my "gram".

I didn't ask whether you thought it was a good idea, I asked for suggestions of a small token or way of requesting my friends to join me on my wedding day.

And for the record, I am aware of the responsibilities that often come with being a bridesmaid as I have been one several times... and no I myself didn't enjoy it.

However I have two outgoing and fun loving friends who will be surprised by my question and would very much appreciate it to be something a bit out of the ordinary.

Thank you to those who didn't give a smarmy response.

But are you going to 'gram it though?

You are, aren't you? Ultimately that's what all these things are about.

Nobody says 'the gram' except people trying to act in a derogatory way towards younger people and it's quite unnecessary.

You lovely people have made a lot of assumptions about someone you have never met.

Just to reassure you: I already own my own home, I have a good amount of money saved for my wedding and have budgeted appropriately (I never said I wanted to spend £100 on this idea, in fact I never said I wanted to spend a penny!) I am aware of the pressures of being bridesmaid and I don't have an instagram account but thank you for caring about my financial and mental welfare.

@Puffalicious you already chimed in with your sarcastic and snidey comments before that so I didn't start with the attitude.

I’ve been a bridesmaid a few times but didn’t have them myself.

I think the thing that makes it nice is that someone is sincerely telling you they really value your friendship. I’d think of something nice, and sincere, to say and I think that will be more precious.

Right. Okay. I'll be more obliging.

Something simple, unostentatious, definitely not for the attention on instagram, nothing gushy or over the top about what a fantastic friend she is and how much she means to you and how nothing would mean more to you to have her walking beside you on this journey or any of that schmaltzy old bollocks. Just a small and simple gesture that would be quirky and sweet.

1. Go to Millie's Cookies and order one of those giant cookies that they do for birthdays where they personalise the piping.

Get Please will you be my bridesmaid? piped on it. Have it delivered to her workplace.

2. Buy some alphabetti spaghetti and write it out in pasta on a dinner plate. Invite her over for a bit of lunch, then when she's expecting food put the plate in front of her. (obviously have some real food for actual lunch as well.)

3. Write her a poem (not an overly sentimental one, just something lighthearted and funny) about all the fun times you have had and ask her in that. Then just post it to her on a nice card.

4. Unless you are a really dreadful singer, find a song where you can change the lyrics, make a little video of you singing to a backing track and ask her in song. Then send it to her in messenger.

Gosh... I responded at the beginning and have only just come back to this thread.
The op was asking for ideas on what she could do, not a whole host of reasons why she shouldn't bother, disparaging ways to do it and being told just ask outright. Although that is an option.
Sometimes, it's nice to do something a little differently.
Sometimes, it's fun to make something mundane (albeit to others and not the bride) a bit more personal.

I just asked my bridesmaids if they'd do it, but the ways my best friend and sister asked, makes me think it would have been nice to ask a little differently, even if it is an accessory for the wedding with a cute card asking.

There's nothing wrong with doing things your way and a bit differently to the 'norm'

Just ask, why does a big thing need to be made of it? I don’t get it.

@CarlatheJackal

Skywriting, or weedkiller on their lawn if you've got time up your sleeve

While I agree that it doesn't have to be some kind of an Insta moment you still can have it this way if you want to, OP.
When we set the date I made video invitations in a wedding slideshow software and emailed it to everyone. The invitations for my friends who I wanted to be in the bridal party had the slide with the question, that was the only difference.

I would just say that the more special / different / effort expenditure the more awkward it will be for the the person being asked if they can't do it.

One of the close friends I asked (just with a card, over a coffee) already had a family holiday pencilled in for the date. It was a bit awkward even between close friends and just with a card and a question, it'd have been awful if I'd made a bigger fuss of it and she had to say no.

Really...just ask them over a cuppa. Ffs o would be so embarrassed if someone made a big deal out of it. They might not want to be your bridesmaid anyway...I've done it twice and I swear I'll ever do it again.

I am aware of the responsibilities that often come with being a bridesmaid
Turning up and walking down the aisle? Possibly organising a hen party? Anything other than that, your friend (bride) is taking the piss and getting you to do free labour.

@Doidontimmm

I’m older & really don’t understand this new trend, it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour. Am I just old? I simply asked mine face to face, didn’t need gimmicks.

I’m younger and I agree

Every small thing has to be a superstar event in this, the third millennium.
How exhausting.

'Paraphernalia/ charade/ crap' are NOT snidey or sarcastic comments, they're pretty upfront and obvious.

It's pretty obvious that the vast majority of posters agree. It's unnecessary and really tacky, you just can't deal with the fact that mostly everyone disagrees with you. You sound like an unbearable Bridezilla in the making.

I declined being a bridesmaid for my best friend. If you make a big song and dance about asking them, it makes it really difficult and awkward to say no if they don’t want to do it.

@Doidontimmm

I’m older & really don’t understand this new trend, it seems so cringey to me, like you are bestowing some huge honour. Am I just old? I simply asked mine face to face, didn’t need gimmicks.

I share your opinion the gender reveal party thing too is cringe too !