Be warned - children at weddings

[DeftandGlory]

I was going to put this in chat but didn’t want to upset anyone if they are on here.
Basically I went to the weekend of a couple in their late 20’s.Very intellectual, middle class families ; firsts from Cambridge, musical, PHD’s abounded amongst the guests. Friends of the same age, a couple of which had young children: a couple of babes in arms and a couple under 3 .
The under threes talked and screamed through the ceremony including. through the vows. It was a smallish venue so really disruptive and worse there was a back door they could have escaped quietly through.
They were with partners so it’s not as if anyone was a struggling to mange as a single parent.
It was unbelievable that anyone would think it was ok to stay with their kids making such a racket. Lots of people looking at them pointedly.
I’m not sure why they felt it was ok to have kids to scream throughout the ceremony given the IQ level but they did.

So if you are inviting children great but make sure guests are “ given permission” (firmly) to remove children if needed.

Why does it bother you? It wasn’t your wedding. Also where does status, financial, social or intellectual come into it?

Insane thread. My money’s on the OP not returning…

You know, even 'posh' people struggle with their children sometimes.

Agree with a pp. What a weird thread!

Odd post.

I really don't understand the loathing of children at weddings

For us (and everyone I know) kids are a big part of the day

One of my fondest memories at mine is playing with the smaller children and gaining an extra bridesmaid as she just wanted to be part of it all

Children make noise, they bring life and joy, I am lucky that my family and friends feel the same way

To be honest, the most socially unaware amongst us are often those with money and privilege.

PMSL at every single assumption behind this thread.

I have DPhil, btw.

@AttaGirrrrl

Loving the snobbery here

OP, do you know there are working class people (shudder) who teach manners, and people who left school at 16 (the shame!) with social awareness? It’s surprising, but true.

Indeed.

@DeftandGlory Educational attainment and musical ability has nothing to do with manners or common sense.

i think it really doesnt matter if its a wedding or some other event , or if the parents are posh or common , a lot of people are sadly as thick as pigshit , and refuse to take their screaming children outside
when my dd was in infant school , i sat through 3 christmas plays on consecutive years and each time there was a muppet with a screaming baby who refused to go out , so we all strained to hear our offspring about the screaming , drove me nuts . ignorance and stupidity are universal

This is exactly why we didn't have any children to our wedding .

In my experience it's the poshest parents who never tell off their kids, so that might be the problem. Just a warning in case you decide to have kids.

When DH and I were exchanging vows all of the children in the church could have screamed the lyrics to Killing In The Name Of and I wouldn’t have had a bloody clue, at that moment it was just me and him in the world.
Barf.

Trust me, when you try and watch the wedding video back, all you’ll be able to hear is screaming kids the entire time.

We had noisy Oxbridge families at our wedding. Couldn’t have cared less. More the merrier we say!

All the successful people I know invite kids to their weddings because they can afford it.

I would have agreed with you. I took one of mine out of a family wedding ceremony as they were noisy and I didn't want them to disrupt the vows.

But then you added in the shit about intelligence and IQ level. So now YABU. Soz.

What does it matter as long as everyone got pissed after.

IQ level thanks for a good laugh OP.

Well done OP, you have ticked all the boxes for Mumsnet wind-up bingo: intellectual snobbery, child-bashing and wedding etiquette. If only you could've woven in something on inheritance entitlement!

I would rather have had noise than a solemn silence. It’s all so prim. I grew up in a culture that is welcoming of children, and it’s been a real culture shock marrying into a middle class English family. It seems so very cold.

Be warned. Drink men at wedding

If we can blame children from ruining someone's wedding can I throw in over drink men?

Been to two weddings spoilt by a man (different man at each wedding) who got so drunk they kicked off and hit another person at the weddings. One was at a pretty posh affair too!

So, if op has had a wedding spoilt by children so therefore they shouldn't be invited, can I add middle aged men too - as I've known a couple cause issue at weddings as well.

I know not all men but you know, you just can't be sure so best bar them all surely.

You’re talking to the converted with me, we will be having a child free wedding. Last wedding we went to then the vows were interested by children squawking

Interested = interrupted!

My point was that maybe they were too clever to get that screaming children were ruining someone’s special day?

I was just a guest as a partner of someone related to the bride, It was fairly grim that this very carefully planned, money spent

wedding ended up being spoilt by their friends,
How hard is it to take out a bored child?

And they aren’t posh. Just clever.