Be warned - children at weddings

[DeftandGlory]

I was going to put this in chat but didn’t want to upset anyone if they are on here.
Basically I went to the weekend of a couple in their late 20’s.Very intellectual, middle class families ; firsts from Cambridge, musical, PHD’s abounded amongst the guests. Friends of the same age, a couple of which had young children: a couple of babes in arms and a couple under 3 .
The under threes talked and screamed through the ceremony including. through the vows. It was a smallish venue so really disruptive and worse there was a back door they could have escaped quietly through.
They were with partners so it’s not as if anyone was a struggling to mange as a single parent.
It was unbelievable that anyone would think it was ok to stay with their kids making such a racket. Lots of people looking at them pointedly.
I’m not sure why they felt it was ok to have kids to scream throughout the ceremony given the IQ level but they did.

So if you are inviting children great but make sure guests are “ given permission” (firmly) to remove children if needed.

@Boomshakalakaaaaa

Not everyone is a miserable fucker who equates silent children with absolute bliss and therefore, conversely, any noise emanating from a child as the sound of Satan himself.

Don’t be a twat. The time to be quiet is the vows.

Kids are great at the reception.

I love kids. Parents less so.

@DeftandGlory

WorraLiberty What are you on about? I have great self esteem. The point was clever people were really rude at wedding someone had forked out thousands for. It was a warning that you really need to point out what appropriate behaviour is nowadays,

On the contrary, your self-esteem seems to be at rock bottom if you're holding people with qualifications to a different standard.

Honestly, educated parents are the same as you and everyone else when it comes to parenting.

Some a good, some are bad and some are rubbish.

@PastelFlowerJelly

Adding to point 6 on my previous post, it may also be possible that the parents have some degree of ASD/ADD. That often makes it difficult to read social cues so they might have had more anxiety about being judged for leaving the ceremony.

They probably did.

Hence me pointing out on a Wedding thread that now need to tell people how to behave at weddings.

@ANameChangeAgain

I’m not sure why they felt it was ok to have kids to scream throughout the ceremony given the IQ level but they did. because mummy and daddy probably buy into some trendy form of positive parenting where the word "no" is forbidden, and because their precious pumpkins are such a delight they couldn't possibly tell them to hush for a short while.

Do you have kids? A firm no means my child would cry and not stop for a very long time, surely that'd be better wouldn't it? I hate comments like yours making other people feel like shit. Being a parent to toddlers is really hard and because of comments like yours, people are conscious about taking their children anywhere.

I get that people want family and friends' kids at their weddings. But if the kids make a racket and run about during the vows I.e. the short, quiet, serious, important bit, it's annoying for other guests who want to listen. The marrying couple might not notice, of course, and it's their day, so that's great, but not so great for their other friends and family who can't hear what's going on. Parents should be aware of this and be prepared to take them out if necessary.

People who are highly intelligent rarely have any common sense at all so that explains it

When determining whether a wedding has a high enough IQ to disallow children, does one take the mean or the median of the guests? My husband's cousin is getting married early next year and I'd like to give her a heads up.

That’s why folk don’t invite other folks kids to weddings because not everyone can be trusted to remove their expressive --noisy-- ‘darlings’!

Fuck those Oxbridge PhD kid loving hippies.

Entrance exams for wedding guests, it could happen!

Yeah like a driving theory test.

Your kid starts making a noise during the wedding. What do you do?

1. Look fondly on as the little darling expresses himself
2. Remove him from society
3. Loudly explain exactly who is saying what to who and why, with Lego

@SickAndTiredAgain

Very intellectual, middle class families ; firsts from Cambridge, musical, PHD’s abounded amongst the guests.

What’s that got to do with anything?

I don’t understand who this post is meant to be warning? Be warned - baby may cry!

Yes, I do think it’s polite to take a crying baby out, but this is an odd post.

They're often the very worst, they read far too much and latch on the every trend going in child-rearing.

We had children at our wedding, I wouldn't have had it any other way since we had 15 nieces and nephews between us at the time and many friends with small children. One of my sisters complained about a guest whose 3 year old was talking all through the vows and asked If I was disappointed.
My honest answer was that I hadn't noticed at all. My focus was on my husband and at that precise moment there was no one else in that room. The children enjoyed the day and we enjoyed having them there and more importantly having the friends and family there who wouldn't have been able to come if we had said no children.
But I appreciate that not everyone wants children at their wedding and that is their prerogative, but in the case OP is talking about the happy couple obviously wanted children there so OP has to accept that we are all different.

What is this old pony about the 'vows', anyone who is married has said them, we know what they are! what is this preciousness about needing to hear someone else say them? I always thought marriage was a celebration of the continuance of life, love and family, not some sort of theatre performance. Bring on the noise of family, friends, fun and laughter and the joy of small children! (yep, sometimes small children are a pain in the arse but without them? sterile, boring and joyless.

I have literally never in my life ever heard a single wedding vow due to ADHD kids with Oxbridge PhDs screaming their heads off every time anyone starts saying one. It's a problem.

It’s utter bullshit that weddings without children are sterile and joyless.

I’m dead smart and took my one year old to a wedding. At the ‘do you take ??? to be your lawful wedded bride?’ She loudly shouted ‘Nooooooo’ in anguish and threw herself on the stairs to the alter. Turns out she’d ran out of biscuits but the dramatic effect was great. I laughed 🤷‍♀️

What was your thought process posting this?

“You know where there’ll be a load of people who’ve never realised kids at weddings can be noisy. Mumsnet!” dons superhero cape

I didn’t know some children are noisy and some parents are useless at getting them to be quiet. Thanks for the heads up, OP.

Pesky little things! How dare they make a noise at a wedding!

Be warned - I’ve seen quite a few adults that got drunk and annoying at weddings. Some of them probably had degrees as well.

because mummy and daddy probably buy into some trendy form of positive parenting where the word "no" is forbidden, and because their precious pumpkins are such a delight they couldn't possibly tell them to hush for a short while.

Sounds like several of my middle-class acquaintances, maybe one or two of my middle-class friends, but none of my (working-class) family.

@martingrowler

We didn't have kids at our wedding and were thick as shit

@martingrowler 😂😂😂