Vegan Wedding

[AmyD54321]

Partner and I are planning our wedding for next year, we’re both vegan. A lot of partner’s friends are big meat eaters and have always mocked him for his veganism, and I know they won’t take kindly to a vegan wedding, and there will definitely be a few comments on the day.

We obviously want our guests to have a brilliant time, and we both love food so will be putting a lot of our budget into the best vegan caterer we can find, but we’re anxious this will be lost on some of our guests. Most I think will be absolutely fine with and will enjoy the food, but some are less ‘open minded’ let’s say.... We really don’t want to buy any animal products, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. I don’t want to inflict my views on anyone, I generally don’t mind if people eat meat, but I just don’t want to fund it.

So I suppose my question is, would you enjoy a vegan wedding? Also, should we note this on the invitations, or just let everyone turn up unaware?

I wouldn't say anything and just have a few different options.

I don't mind vegan food in principle but am quite intolerant to a lot of vegan staples: lentils, peas, chickpeas, beans, soy. They make me very unwell and I just can't eat then. I would generally be able to turn up to an omnivore wedding and eat enough not to worry, but I might either need to take my own food or do some serious arranging with caterers at a vegan wedding. My usual set up with my vegan friend is that I bring a version of whatever's cooking that I can eat.

So I would just consider if anyone would be coming who might have similar issues (it's quite common with IBS, though I do suffer particularly badly), especially if you've got plus ones who you don't know very well coming.

I would say that if I knew I was going to the wedding of a vegan person I would also get in touch to check.

I think it would be a nice change to the usual chicken.

Don't tell everyone, why would you need to? It's not as if they will self combust if they don't eat meat for a few hours. If it is a buffet have some food which mimics meat and some which is obviously vegan and then see who notices. Although some might complain on the day, most probably won't, if you announce it before then you are inviting comments and people trying to persuade you, saying that they will only come if there is meat etc. If anyone asks if there is meat just say 'don't worry there will be something for everyone' which is true.

I wouldn't even bother mentioning it tbh. Just get a really good vegan caterer. Chances are if you don't make a big deal of it and just make sure the food is really tasty and varied, people are unlikely to complain.

I went to a vegan afternoon tea a few weeks ago and tbh it was hardly any different. Scones with whipped vegan cream and jam, brownies, tiny sandwiches with cucumber and vegan cream cheese, vegan pastrami amuse bouche type things, chocolate dipped strawberries.... 😋

Agree with PPs, don't make a big deal of it, just get a good vegan caterer and they will be fine. You should ask guests to let you know if they have any dietary requirements (which would allow you to make arrangements for guests like the PP who has issues with lots of vegan food) but you would do that anyway for a non-vegan wedding.

Given that it's not a secret that you're vegans, a guest should assume it's a vegan wedding and they can make their decision based on that assumption. If anyone is rude enough to mention it to you then just say that you're vegans and what did they expect.

How “mocking” are these friends though? Is it part of the usual friendship banter or are they actually bellends?

Honestly, unless you breeze through and ignore other dietary requirements; you shouldn’t be this stressed about what people will think of you. If you’re this concerned, that’s maybe an indication that you should re-examine your friendship group.

Surely the most important thing is that you marry the person you love and celebrate it with your loved ones? The type of food served shouldn’t really be a factor in people’s enjoyment of the day or opinion of you (quantity and variety, yes. Vegan vs non-vegan? No).

We didn't make a big thing about all the food being vegan, there was a huge choice (middle eastern style buffet) & we got lots of comments about the best wedding food ever. Only person who barely ate was a very unadventurous now-ex-boyfriend of a friend, and she said he barely ate at a non-vegan wedding they went to. He didn't even like the bread - choice of different bakery breads, too interesting apparently! All the children who came found things they liked, as there was a wide choice. I think the food was more familiar to non-vegans partly because we used omnivore caterers, so it wasn't full of unfamiliar flavours or ingredients. It was salads, dips, pastries & vegetables done really well. It was brightly coloured & beautifully presented, too. We had a summer outside reception so it was ideal garden food. I'm vegan & my husband actually isn't, it wasn't something I insisted on but he wanted me to be able to eat anything I wanted on my own wedding day. It also got around some tricky dietary restrictions on his side of the family. It was a much less controversial decision than having our reception outside! Months of family anxiety about weather. Luckily that was also fine but definitely more of a gamble!

We had a vegan wedding. Much amusement amongst family members (“there’s not much soakage in a lettuce!”) but the food (which was a few different options, not buffet style but I can’t think of the right term - people went up and chose what they wanted to be served) went down well and this was a decade ago without the abundance of options vegans have now. Evening buffet was vegetarian from what I can remember. People joked about getting a McDonalds delivery but nobody went hungry and it made a change from the usual wedding meal.

Yes, but then we are both vegan too! If/when we get married, we will definitely have a vegan wedding. It is our special day, why should we placate others? We get to choose the music, the colour scheme, the location and, yes, the food. If people can’t deal with that then they either not come or bring a secret stick of meat to chew on in the toilets. People can go one meal without meat/dairy, it won’t kill them! (Special diets obv would be catered for).

Some vegan food is as tasty as non vegan food or even better. We are not vegan but I regularly cook vegan food due to dc's allergy.
I bet most people won't even notice it's vegan if you didn't say, especially you get a really good caterer.

I'm not vegan but I love vegan food, there are so many possibilities that there will be something everyone will like, I'm sure there will be no one who can't survive a day without meat!

I always prefer weddings where the B&G have put some thought into the food and provided lots of options than weddings where it’s the venue‘s 2 crap options to pick from.

“Lot of options” can definitely be vegan. I’d use this as a chance to showcase how wonderful vegan food can be 😊

Agree with PP that I wouldn’t tell people in advance.

A lot of partner’s friends are big meat eaters and have always mocked him for his veganism, and I know they won’t take kindly to a vegan wedding, and there will definitely be a few comments on the day.

Don't invite them?
Why would you invite "friends" to your wedding who would mock the bride and groom? You clearly think these childish "friends" will negatively impact your wedding day.

Your wedding, your choices!
Agree with pp who says to get an excellent vegan caterer- make sure you insist on menu sampling.

I'd be delighted with your choices - and the fact I was invited! Go for it! I'd say most people eat way too much meat and dairy in their diets anyway.

Good luck!

I went to a wedding last year where the food was 75% vegan (the bride and family as vegan, the groom wasn't). It was lovely and catered for a range of tastes. The cake was brilliant. (A 'naked' cake baked with vegan ingredients).

I’m a vegetarian and a teetotaller (I learnt on another thread recently that that makes me boring and a killjoy apparently) but I didn’t enforce this on everyone at my wedding. I made sure that the vegetarian option was good and DH made sure the meat option was good. No one at my wedding complained about the food.

I often worry about what I’ll be able to eat. Quite often, I’ll end up with a tiny amount of food when it’s a buffet style because the meat eaters take the veggie stuff too. If it’s a sit down meal, I get some weird concoction of vegetables.

I think you just have to make sure there is a wide variety of foods (not all arty fancy stuff because not everyone likes this) and plenty of it all if you’re doing a buffet style. If it’s a sit down meal, display the options on the invitation and let people choose what they’d like. I’d say that about every wedding though, not because there is no meat.

Good vegan food is great. Would assume a caterer could deal with food intolerances properly.

Had a fair amount of vegan food when BFing my dairy and egg intolerant children, some was great, some was meh. Wouldn't be a problem for me. Assume you will get vegan wine/beers too!

Dont invite someone who would be an arsehole. It's your day.

I wouldn't mention it, but I'd make sure that the catering was first class. I have had some superb vegan friendly food... and some that was downright mediocre.

Either that, or play safe and hire a hog roast for the meat eaters.

"Either that, or play safe and hire a hog roast for the meat eaters."

Why on earth would a vegan do that?!

I can't see a meat eater hiring a vegan caterer to please their vegan guests, so why would a vegan have a hog roast of all things?!

I've been to lots of different types of weddings and my favourites were the ones where it was personal to the bride and groom. One of the best was a Greek wedding, where all the food and wine was greek, cooked by her aunts and uncles. I've been to a brilliant vegan wedding too. I'd have been really uncomfortable if they felt they had to buy meat or dairy/egg options just for guests. This way we all got to celebrate the food they love.

Don’t invite people that are twats for starters!

It’s your wedding, invite who makes you happy, not who you feel obligated to do so.