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Original poster

Vegan Wedding

182 replies

AmyD54321 · 04/08/2020 07:49

Partner and I are planning our wedding for next year, we’re both vegan. A lot of partner’s friends are big meat eaters and have always mocked him for his veganism, and I know they won’t take kindly to a vegan wedding, and there will definitely be a few comments on the day.

We obviously want our guests to have a brilliant time, and we both love food so will be putting a lot of our budget into the best vegan caterer we can find, but we’re anxious this will be lost on some of our guests. Most I think will be absolutely fine with and will enjoy the food, but some are less ‘open minded’ let’s say.... We really don’t want to buy any animal products, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. I don’t want to inflict my views on anyone, I generally don’t mind if people eat meat, but I just don’t want to fund it.

So I suppose my question is, would you enjoy a vegan wedding? Also, should we note this on the invitations, or just let everyone turn up unaware?

OP posts:
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/08/2020 09:17

@PhoneLock

I wouldn't mention it, but I'd make sure that the catering was first class. I have had some superb vegan friendly food... and some that was downright mediocre.

Either that, or play safe and hire a hog roast for the meat eaters.

I would have hated having a hog roast at my wedding (not meat free). There is a massive difference between someone having a piece of chicken on their plate next to me and the cooking of meat being a spectacle.
Cabinfever10 · 04/08/2020 09:19

As someone who has a severe nut allergy who can't eat many vegan food I would say please do tell people and take into account that some will not be able to eat the food or even be in the room.

meditrina · 04/08/2020 09:21

Omnivores sometimes have really quite limited (or nonexistent) options for vegetarians and vegans, and it is considered extremely rude to complain openly when that happens.

I do not see it's any less rude for omnivores to complain at a vegan wedding.

If you do not like/want/cannot tolerate the food at a catered event, you just have to eat what you can (and secretly snack if you must).

Don't rearrange your choices because you fear some guests will be so boorish they've reached adulthood without learning that and alsomare so graceless they complain.

You might have to invite such people, because they have other qualities you value, but I hope they are not numerous and you can ignore their bad manners

CasuallyMasculine · 04/08/2020 09:22

As someone who has a severe nut allergy who can't eat many vegan food I would say please do tell people and take into account that some will not be able to eat the food or even be in the room.

Presumably someone with a nut allergy that severe would be used to managing social food situations themselves? After all, it’s not as if vegans are the only people who eat nuts or use them in cooking.

AbbieFB · 04/08/2020 09:26

I’ve been to two vegan weddings so I don’t think they’re that unusual.

Make sure you do a tasting.

Juno231 · 04/08/2020 09:28

I'm not vegan but think I would really enjoy a vegan wedding! Just don't tell people and instead just ask for any dietary requirements/allergies.

Went to a pescatarian wedding 2 years ago and that was brilliant, didn't miss the meat one bit. Neither did my OH and he usually grumbles about veggie food.

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 09:28

I would have hated having a hog roast at my wedding (not meat free). There is a massive difference between someone having a piece of chicken on their plate next to me and the cooking of meat being a spectacle

I know. My comment was meant in jest. Hence going to extremes.

Having said that, we did have a hog roast at our wedding. We also made sure that non-meat eaters, vegans, fussy eaters, and those with religious restrictions were well catered for as well.

user1495884620 · 04/08/2020 09:29

If it's buffet style, no need to tell people as there should be something for everyone even if they just eat bread rolls.

If it's a sit down meal, you need to let people know and probably give a couple of options. Allergies and intolerances to meat substitutes like soy and quorn are not uncommon and some people can't tolerate spicy food, either because of things like IBS or simply because they are used to a bland diet.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 04/08/2020 09:31

Agree with CasuallyMasculine. If you can't even be in the room, you would check with your host beforehand. Otherwise, how would you know it's safe or not? Even regular food contain many nuts. I am saying this as a parent of the child who has multiple food allergies that ranges from severe to mild, and carry epipen every day.

sanmiguel · 04/08/2020 09:32

You would not expect any thing other than South Indian food for a South Indian Hindu wedding.
Given Veganism is a belief system and not just a diet choice, I would certainly expect the food at the wedding to reflect the couple's beliefs, culture and lifestyle.
Anyone mocking that really shouldn't feature in the wedding celebration.

ladyvimes · 04/08/2020 09:33

My friends are vegetarian and had a veggie wedding. It was honestly the best wedding food I have ever had! Even my meat loving dh enjoyed it! It’s your wedding so serve the food you like!!

ttigerlilly · 04/08/2020 09:34

I personally would be very excited about going to a vegan wedding but I know this wouldn't be true for a lot of people.

I think if anybody were to comment during your wedding day it would be very unfair - it is after all your special day.

Who knows, maybe they will even be converted! Grin

AnotherEmma · 04/08/2020 09:37

@Cabinfever10

As someone who has a severe nut allergy who can't eat many vegan food I would say please do tell people and take into account that some will not be able to eat the food or even be in the room.
Surely the nut allergy would be an issue at any event you attend. You would just tell them about the nut allergy in the same way that you would when RSVPing and giving your dietary requirement for any wedding, surely?
CasuallyMasculine · 04/08/2020 09:38

We had a completely vegetarian wedding in 1992 when it was quite a novel thing. We mentioned it on the invitations because there were fewer vegetarians in those days.

The unexpected bonus was that certain family members who didn’t think it was a proper wedding (because it was in a registry office and not a Catholic Church) declined to attend Grin

Streamingbannersofdawn · 04/08/2020 09:39

I wouldn't even mention it, just send the options out if you are doing that.

I'm not vegan but would love a vegan wedding.

I've had some great wedding food and some rubbish wedding food, it wouldn't occur to me to complain. I would think people very rude if they did that.

Mind you I alos love food and i'm generally just glad someone else is cooking, whatever it is!

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 09:40

It’s your wedding so serve the food you like!!

You don't get a licence to be selfish and inconsiderate just because it is your wedding day.

formerbabe · 04/08/2020 09:41

It wouldn't bother me but I'm a very unfussy eater and enjoy eating different things. End of the day, it's your wedding, your choice. I think vegan could work if it was crowd pleasing food...I'm thinking a big Indian feast for example rather than dreary lentil soup.

jammyjoey · 04/08/2020 09:43

Im not vegan and dont think ive ever ate a meal which was intentionally vegan but i would try it and probably enjoy it. It would make a nice change. Also im sure some people will expect it if you are both vegan. If someone is so unadventurous they wont try things thats their problem as its one day. I would just make sure to take into account dietary requirements and remember its your and your partners day

CasuallyMasculine · 04/08/2020 09:45

You don't get a licence to be selfish and inconsiderate just because it is your wedding day.

A couple choosing the food for their wedding based on their long-held principles are “selfish and inconsiderate”?

Who knew?

Goingdownto · 04/08/2020 09:45

I would enjoy it, but there is a lot of pressure to roll out a really impressive vegan feast!
They can stock up on animal products on the way home if they want.

Emmmie · 04/08/2020 09:46

I eat halal food and the great thing about vegan food (for me) is that vegan food is all halal (unless it contains alcohol). So yes, I would love to attend a wedding where they only serve vegan food😊

Tempusfudgeit · 04/08/2020 09:47

I went to a Scandinavian wedding at Christmas time where the main course was reindeer. I didn't tell the children ...

Dyrne · 04/08/2020 09:49

@PhoneLock

It’s your wedding so serve the food you like!!

You don't get a licence to be selfish and inconsiderate just because it is your wedding day.

That’s true where couples don’t bother taking allergies etc into account; or under cater so their guests are starving; but vegans offering vegan food at a wedding isn’t exactly going to be a newsflash, is it?

And I’m saying this as an omnivore who is also the pickiest eater in the world due to various bowel issues. I don’t go to a wedding for the amazing food, I go to celebrate beloved friends/family getting married. I always plan that I won’t be able to eat much, and bring snacks. That way it’s always a pleasant surprise when I can eat something!

PrayingandHoping · 04/08/2020 09:50

Personally I wouldn't do it as it's such a limited range of food and easily not liked

I say this as someone who doesn't drink, neither does husband, and we served alcohol at our wedding as plenty of our family and guests did and we didn't want to inflict our opinions on others.

AuntieStella · 04/08/2020 09:52

You would have to cater for those with allergies and serious intolerances (as you would with any type of catering).

But all omnivores, pescatarians, vegetarians and those with religious limitations can all eat vegan meals, so it's the most inclusive choice possible