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Original poster

Vegan Wedding

182 replies

AmyD54321 · 04/08/2020 07:49

Partner and I are planning our wedding for next year, we’re both vegan. A lot of partner’s friends are big meat eaters and have always mocked him for his veganism, and I know they won’t take kindly to a vegan wedding, and there will definitely be a few comments on the day.

We obviously want our guests to have a brilliant time, and we both love food so will be putting a lot of our budget into the best vegan caterer we can find, but we’re anxious this will be lost on some of our guests. Most I think will be absolutely fine with and will enjoy the food, but some are less ‘open minded’ let’s say.... We really don’t want to buy any animal products, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. I don’t want to inflict my views on anyone, I generally don’t mind if people eat meat, but I just don’t want to fund it.

So I suppose my question is, would you enjoy a vegan wedding? Also, should we note this on the invitations, or just let everyone turn up unaware?

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 04/08/2020 14:00
Confused
Grumblyberries · 04/08/2020 14:04

Definitely make sure that any food that you'd normally expect to have animal products in is labelled clearly as to what it is - e.g., vegan cream instead of dairy.

I wouldn't normally put slight intolerances to things that I have on a standard wedding invitation - like more than a small amount of soya milk really upsets my digestive system, and sometimes quorn, lentils etc can do as well - because they are rarely found in wedding foods, and it's not like I can't avoid them if they are, as they're side dishes or otherwise obvious.

But if I had cake that was all soya milk or margarine, and lentils for dinner, and soya milk in coffee or as cream on a dessert that I didn't know and assumed was dairy - you might not know for sure just because it tastes different that that is what it is - I would end up being ill and not enjoying the rest of the wedding.

They're not allergies, though, nor proper intolerances that I would dream of making someone cater around. but I would be unhappy to find out that I'd eaten much of them when I was expecting something to be dairy.

it's not the lack of meat at all that would be a problem.

user1495884620 · 04/08/2020 14:11

@randomsabreuse Do you mind sharing your recipe for vegan banana bread, please? To be honest, I'm not a fan of vegan cake, I have yet to taste one that is any better than passable but have been looking for a nice egg-free banana bread recipe for ages.

LegoMaus · 04/08/2020 14:21

I’d be cool with a vegan wedding. The only thing to consider is that vegan food often contains a lot of allergens such as wheat, soy and nuts. So try to make sure there are some allergen free options, check with the guests beforehand etc.

randomsabreuse · 04/08/2020 14:27

@user1495884620

It's allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/32977/egg-free-banana-and-chocolate-chip-loaf.aspx

I usually put an amount (more or less random depending on what have up to 40g) of cocoa powder instead of the flour and add 1/4 tsp of bicarb to make up for the loss of raising agent.

To make vegan I sub in fake butter and use dark chocolate. Works fine with real butter and mixed chocolate chips too.

It's about the most forgiving cake I've come across.

user1495884620 · 04/08/2020 14:38

@randomsabreuse Thank you, will give it a go.

CorianderLord · 04/08/2020 14:56

I always find it surprising that so many people think vegan food will be unpalatable.

It's vegetables and grains and is often cooked beautifully - there are lovely vegan cuisines (Indian, many middle eastern).

They're hardly going to serve Quorn sausage rolls and fake nuggets.

TheVanguardSix · 04/08/2020 15:02

I totally would enjoy a vegan wedding. Believe me, I love a red, raw steak but I do love vegan food. I'm sure you will have beautiful food. Every time I indulge in a vegan feast, I thoroughly love it.

I don't think you need to make a thing of it at all, by the way, on the invites. I mean, they're coming to celebrate you guys! Don't make it about the veganism.

Disfordarkchocolate · 04/08/2020 15:05

I would be fine. We've recent started using Mindful Chef, the vegan options look amazing. My vegetarian husband loves them. All tasty, all filling.

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 15:07

People aren’t even going a get a decent cup of tea at this wedding

I hadn't thought of that. Shock

OP YABVU!

TheId · 04/08/2020 15:11

Your friends are going to your wedding and you are vegan. They should obviously assume the food will be vegan.
I did not go to my Muslim friends' wedding and experience a hog roast and a beer tent. I expected delicious curry and Asian food and soft drinks and that's what I got. Some of it was a bit hot for my bland palate but that was part of the experience. I didn't expect them to dumb it down and get in chips for me.
I think people should have open minds and be open to new experiences.

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 04/08/2020 15:11

I think it really depends on what the menu is. I'm not vegan and I don't like lentils, beans or veg like avocado, aubergine or squash.

If it was buffet style and I could help myself to salad, crudités, hummus, nuts, dips, breads then I'd be perfectly happy and really enjoy it.

If it was a sit down meal of fancy foods with any of the above things in I just wouldn't be able to eat it.

Alwaysinpain · 04/08/2020 15:12

@PhoneLock

It’s your wedding so serve the food you like!!

You don't get a licence to be selfish and inconsiderate just because it is your wedding day.

Of course they do! It's not how I'd be, but they can make any choices they want. It's their day!
CorianderLord · 04/08/2020 15:34

Also soy or oat milk make tea and coffee very nice

TheClitterati · 04/08/2020 16:24

the problem I have with much of the vegan food around today is it is often super highly processed food masquerading as healthy under the "vegan" label.

But I wouldn't expect to have this issue with a quality vegan catering company.

Oat milk is excllent in tea. Soya I'm not so fond of.

Original poster
AmyD54321 · 04/08/2020 16:27

Thanks everyone for the replies! Slowly reading through them all. To answer a few questions, we'll definitely take allergies into account of course! We'll ask on the RSVPs for allergy info. Also, we don't plan to have 'meat substitute' fake meat etc, as I agree with previous posters, it doesn't agree with everyone and I don't want to try to imitate meat. We really care about the food being brilliant, so we're spending a lot of our budget on it. We obviously don't want to 'convert' anyone to our way of eating, it's really not something we bring up in our daily lives, but it would be nice if we could show how nice food without animals can be 😊

OP posts:
TakeMeToYourLiar · 04/08/2020 16:29

A friend had a vegan wedding with tonnes of curries and Indian style sides and starters.

Delicious

I dint think you would even have realised it was vegan unless you thought about it

Dyrne · 04/08/2020 17:02

@CorianderLord

I always find it surprising that so many people think vegan food will be unpalatable.

It's vegetables and grains and is often cooked beautifully - there are lovely vegan cuisines (Indian, many middle eastern).

They're hardly going to serve Quorn sausage rolls and fake nuggets.

To be fair, at a certain point in the evening I would absolute DEVOUR a chip butty and think the bride and groom were amazing - completely vegan friendly cuisine, that Grin
Veterinari · 04/08/2020 17:03

Thanks @Itsjustabitofbanter I'm perfectly aware of what a vegan is Wink You can see from the way I highlighted that I was replying directly to a specific point made by a pp - not discussing vegan food generally

My point is that the argument A meat eater could eat vegan food but chooses not to. is a fallacy because unless you're subsisting in a 100% animal product diet (unlikely) then yes of course you're choosing to eat vegan food in addition to non-vegan food.

Staplemaple · 04/08/2020 17:16

To be fair, at a certain point in the evening I would absolute DEVOUR a chip butty and think the bride and groom were amazing - completely vegan friendly cuisine, that

So true, and as long as obviously not cooked in animal fats something most people would eat!

Itsjustabitofbanter · 04/08/2020 17:40

@TheId

Your friends are going to your wedding and you are vegan. They should obviously assume the food will be vegan. I did not go to my Muslim friends' wedding and experience a hog roast and a beer tent. I expected delicious curry and Asian food and soft drinks and that's what I got. Some of it was a bit hot for my bland palate but that was part of the experience. I didn't expect them to dumb it down and get in chips for me. I think people should have open minds and be open to new experiences.
I’m a meat eater, but I wouldn’t let people assume that there would only be meat options at my wedding because I’d be happy to cater for everyone. And while it’s true that meat eaters can eat vegan food, and vegans can’t eat meat, I’d still think it would be shit for a vegan couple to cater the whole menu to suit themselves and not give a thought to what their guests would like.
SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 04/08/2020 17:52

I think it is a bit shit Someone cannot go one day without eating meat.

And i wonder what those people who are appalled at the suggestion of going one day without meat think about people with 4,5,6,7+ children...

rookiemere · 04/08/2020 18:23

Would you consider cows milk for the tea drinkers?
I'd be happy to have a vegan meal, but I'm not prepared to use oat milk or similar and if you have elderly guests or fussy ones, it would be a kindness to let them drink their normal hot beverage.

Laurie01 · 04/08/2020 18:31

For sure plan your vegan wedding! Perhaps have two main vegan options as with any wedding breakfast. Congratulations!

Grumblyberries · 04/08/2020 19:05

@SusanKennedyshouldLTB

I think it is a bit shit Someone cannot go one day without eating meat.

And i wonder what those people who are appalled at the suggestion of going one day without meat think about people with 4,5,6,7+ children...

I think very few have said they couldn't go a day without meat.

What people have objected to are menus that contain a large amount of soy or lentils, which many people's digestive systems are not used to, whether they have specific allergies or intolerances or not.

I think most people who don't normally drink soy milk or oat milk in coffee and tea would just forego it entirely, as it's a bit of an acquired taste for sure. And that's fine, if that's what the bridge and groom want, but a bit of a shame for a guest who might have enjoyed a coffee. I would probably also turn down whipped cream in desserts or soy margarine or things made with soy milk, if I knew about it - I would find it difficult if these things were presented without any labels and I didn't know it's what was in the food.

But standard vegan food, isn't the problem, nor is missing out on meat. It's the potential things added or used to replace meat that could be problematic. I think if you chose those carefully, and made sure people knew what was in things, you would be fine. I would generally avoid soy products, though, as even without allergies or intolerances, there are some unpleasant effects on people unused to them. I'd probably not bother with coffee or tea either, as most people wouldn't want them with plant milk, but you could have mint infusions or something instead. And presumably vegan wines

That still leaves lots of options.