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Original poster

Vegan Wedding

182 replies

AmyD54321 · 04/08/2020 07:49

Partner and I are planning our wedding for next year, we’re both vegan. A lot of partner’s friends are big meat eaters and have always mocked him for his veganism, and I know they won’t take kindly to a vegan wedding, and there will definitely be a few comments on the day.

We obviously want our guests to have a brilliant time, and we both love food so will be putting a lot of our budget into the best vegan caterer we can find, but we’re anxious this will be lost on some of our guests. Most I think will be absolutely fine with and will enjoy the food, but some are less ‘open minded’ let’s say.... We really don’t want to buy any animal products, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. I don’t want to inflict my views on anyone, I generally don’t mind if people eat meat, but I just don’t want to fund it.

So I suppose my question is, would you enjoy a vegan wedding? Also, should we note this on the invitations, or just let everyone turn up unaware?

OP posts:
xolotltezcatlopoca · 04/08/2020 19:53

Just googled vegan wedding catering images. How can anyone think it's boring and bland?
Vegan Wedding Catering

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 19:59

Just googled vegan wedding catering images. How can anyone think it's boring and bland?

Can you taste internet images? How about texture?

OneMoreLight · 04/08/2020 20:13

I'd need to know if soya was being used in anything.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 04/08/2020 20:18

PhoneLock, if you are so against Vegan food, just avoid it. For us non vegans, it's definitely a choice/preference. Sigh.

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 20:22

PhoneLock, if you are so against Vegan food, just avoid it. For us non vegans, it's definitely a choice/preference. Sigh

I'm not against vegan friendly food. Look at my first post. I'm an omnivore, it's all just food to me.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 04/08/2020 20:24

And PhoneLock, for my ds, Vegan food is not even his choice. He can't eat regular food. So awful food that you have experience of is what he can eat. I am quite glad that I can serve him lovely food, thanks to lots of vegan choices.

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 20:28

So awful food that you have experience of is what he can eat

Birthday cake?

xolotltezcatlopoca · 04/08/2020 21:02

Or if you think that if you can't have a decent cup of tea with proper cow's milk on one single occasion, which is celebrating OP's wedding, is so VBU, just don't go to such an occasion. Simple. Just food for you may mean something more significant for others.

VerbenaGirl · 04/08/2020 21:07

All vegan menu without a doubt. I’m a meat eater but would never expect my vegan family or friends to serve me meat. In fact, I’d feel awful about it. In no way would it detract from the celebrations in my opinion.

rookiemere · 04/08/2020 21:17

@xolotltezcatlopoca all weddings are a balance of what you want to do and what would be best for your guests. For instance we wanted a less traditional menu, but realised a lot of our guests are elderly with simple food tastes, so we ended up with the regulation chicken but had a fancier starter and dessert.

OP has said one of the reasons they want a vegan menu is to showcase how good vegan food can be. Well ok, fair enough, but serving regular milk alongside alternatives doesn't seem to be as dramatic as serving up hunks of meat and would be a kindness to the vast majority of the attendees who take their drink that way.

If I knew there was none I'd bring along a couple of those single serve things you get in hotels, which aren't great but better than oat milk.

I sound totally obsessed with tea and milkBlush

AnotherEmma · 04/08/2020 21:18

OP I think you need to clarify whether you intend to offer cow's milk with tea and coffee as a matter of urgency Grin

rookiemere · 04/08/2020 21:21

I know I'm getting totally fretful about this - it's not like I'm actually invited or anything Grin

AnotherEmma · 04/08/2020 21:23

Of course people who are vegan or who have a dairy allergy have to face the prospect of not having their preferred milk in tea or coffee all the time! (Unless they bring their own milk.)

Hubstar · 04/08/2020 21:25

This sounds amazing. Can I come please! 👍🏻

xolotltezcatlopoca · 04/08/2020 21:30

rookiemere, if I was a host, I would offer the dairy. I have no reason not to, just because my family member can't have them. OP's case is different. She has an ethical reason not to serve animal product.

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 21:43

Of course people who are vegan or who have a dairy allergy have to face the prospect of not having their preferred milk in tea or coffee all the time! (Unless they bring their own milk.)

That rather depends on how much the hosts care about the needs of their guests. We provided alternatives to dairy milk.

AnotherEmma · 04/08/2020 21:48

Indeed, but many don't.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 04/08/2020 21:57

"We provided alternatives to dairy milk."

Did you feel the moral dilemma for providing alternative to dairy milk? I really cannot understand why you can't see the difference. It's not preference, it's a belief for some vegan people.

WaltzingBetty · 05/08/2020 09:29

I’m a meat eater, but I wouldn’t let people assume that there would only be meat options at my wedding because I’d be happy to cater for everyone. And while it’s true that meat eaters can eat vegan food, and vegans can’t eat meat, I’d still think it would be shit for a vegan couple to cater the whole menu to suit themselves and not give a thought to what their guests would like.

But you're 'happy' to cater to everyone because you're not ONLY a 'meat eater' you also eat non-meat products and don't have a strong ethical objection to them. So the two scenarios are not remotely comparable.

You might think 'it's a bit shit' for a couple to not want to fund an industry they ethically object to because you'd rather eat a bit of chicken, but that's clearly because you don't really understand veganism or how a meat eater providing non-meat options isn't ethically equivalent. You're viewing this simply as 'accommodating guests' and totally missing the ethical grounds upon which veganism is based. Would you expect alcohol at a Muslim wedding? Or non-kosher food at a Jewish one simply because you might prefer it?

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2020 09:39

I served alcohol at my wedding for those who drink even though we don't for religious reasons. I won't put my views on other people....

So people do do it

xolotltezcatlopoca · 05/08/2020 09:46

PrayingandHoping, you don't drink for religious reason. but did you find it morally difficult to provide drinks to the people who drinks? I have no understanding of the religious non drinking, but I do see it as totally different, between people who don't drink because of religious reason providing drinks, and people who are vegan providing animal products against their belief.

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2020 09:54

No because we also believe v strongly that people have their own agency and choice and it's not up to us to enforce our beliefs onto other people.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 05/08/2020 10:01

I am curious, why is alcohol so bad morally or humanely, if you can compare providing alcohol by you to vegan providing animal products?

AnotherEmma · 05/08/2020 10:15

The thing is, producing alcohol doesn't harm anyone, it's just a personal choice about whether to drink it or not.

But producing meat, dairy and eggs very obviously harms animals.

So they're not comparable IMO.

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2020 10:46

I was only replying to someone who said you wouldn't be served alcohol at a wedding where the couples don't drink for religious reasons. I said again it's personal choice.

Everyone has their own choice what they chose to do and believe.

It's not fair to say one persons choice is more important or valid than another's.