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Original poster

Vegan Wedding

182 replies

AmyD54321 · 04/08/2020 07:49

Partner and I are planning our wedding for next year, we’re both vegan. A lot of partner’s friends are big meat eaters and have always mocked him for his veganism, and I know they won’t take kindly to a vegan wedding, and there will definitely be a few comments on the day.

We obviously want our guests to have a brilliant time, and we both love food so will be putting a lot of our budget into the best vegan caterer we can find, but we’re anxious this will be lost on some of our guests. Most I think will be absolutely fine with and will enjoy the food, but some are less ‘open minded’ let’s say.... We really don’t want to buy any animal products, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. I don’t want to inflict my views on anyone, I generally don’t mind if people eat meat, but I just don’t want to fund it.

So I suppose my question is, would you enjoy a vegan wedding? Also, should we note this on the invitations, or just let everyone turn up unaware?

OP posts:
Nacreous · 04/08/2020 10:29

I guess my point earlier was that if I knew it was going to be a vegan menu I would go into my irritatingly complicated dietary requirements. I did when my friend had an entirely vegetarian wedding as well.

If I thought it was going to be standard wedding fare I would think it was pretty likely I would be able to eat enough that it would be fine and not want to bother everyone with the list of frankly random things I can't eat.

So it would be fine with a vegan wedding where I knew the couple well, but if it was a friend of a partner or something where I didn't, if it didn't say on the invite I might not point it out. I guess hopefully my (imaginary!) partner would know and point it out though, so maybe I am being overly worried about that !

Queenoftheashes · 04/08/2020 10:30

I can’t quite believe people so entitled as to believe they should be served meat at a vegan couple’s wedding. If you don’t buy animal products for ethical reasons that would extend to spending hundreds on chicken for your extended family.
Also unsure why people appear to think vegan means shit food. I love meat but I frequent many excellent vegan/vegetarian restaurants as the food is really good. Mildred’s, purezza, Vurger, Biff’s - suggest some pp broaden their culinary horizons.

SimonJT · 04/08/2020 10:31

[quote PrayingandHoping]@Veterinari because plenty of people don't like or can't eat the ingredients that make up a vast majority of vegan food. People aren't going to force themselves to eat something they don't like! It will end up on the bin.

And non vegan food doesn't just mean meat. Hence the difference between vegetarian etc and vegan. Vegan is v restrictive. [/quote]
There are very few people who can’t eat vegetables, but that is covered under the standard dietary requirements section on all wedding invited.

AriettyHomily · 04/08/2020 10:31

I've been to two vegan weddings, they were Indian. Some of the best wedding food I've ever had. I wouldn't make it into a 'thing', apart from allergies or intolerances.

squeekums · 04/08/2020 10:31

@Tempusfudgeit

I went to a Scandinavian wedding at Christmas time where the main course was reindeer. I didn't tell the children ...
Mmmm Rudolph..... lol

If vegan friends invited me to their wedding I'd assume it's vegan food and just pre eat on way too the wedding as it's too much risk there be nothing I like and end up hungry. I don't like spice, most beans taste odd, same for nuts, picky on textures and the list of veg I like is short so easier to grab takeaway on the way lol
Get what you like at your wedding, just consider allergies.
If you can eat what you like on your wedding day, when can you?

sashh · 04/08/2020 10:40

I'd expect vegan food at the wedding of a couple of vegans.

If I was catering a vegan wedding I'd suggest food that isn't too different to a typical meat eater's wedding, mainly for the older people (my dad) who don't recognise anything that is not meat, potatoes and veg as a meal.

So a mushroom wellington or roast cauliflower sever with roast potatoes, and the usual Sunday veg.

A selection of pies would also work, use different pastries and different fillings.

Hangingover · 04/08/2020 10:41

You don't get a licence to be selfish and inconsiderate just because it is your wedding day

How is serving plants selfish and inconsiderate Grin

runningonemptyfulloflove · 04/08/2020 10:43

Hmm this is hard. On one hand, it's your wedding, of course you will serve the food you and your partner enjoy and eat, on the other hand, if you went to a meat eaters wedding, you would no doubt expect a vegan option be provided for you.

Ultimately you don't need meat in every meal to service, and your friends should be there to celebrate your love, not for a free meal. I'd say go vegan.

Hangingover · 04/08/2020 10:47

The point of Veganism isn't simply "enjoying plants" though! Vegan option at an Omni wedding isn't a fair comparison either since most omnis don't find the idea of a meat free meal morality wrong.

SionnachRua · 04/08/2020 10:49

I think it's no different to any wedding in that the most important thing is food - good food and lots of it. I went to one vegan wedding where they served tiny portions and many guests snuck out to the local chipper (and as the majority weren't vegan, of course they didn't stick to vegan food). The bride threw a fit when she found out - angry about people eating meat on 'her day' - but really, if you don't feed people properly what do you expect?

SapphosRock · 04/08/2020 10:53

I'm a meat eater but would be more than happy to go to a vegan wedding. As long as you have beige carbs like bread, chips, potatoes, rice, pasta then even the most unadventurous won't go hungry.

How about a simple veg risotto as one choice? Can't really go wrong with that.

Fawnandwren · 04/08/2020 10:56

Yes I would enjoy, if you do Indian catering most of the food is vegan without people even knowing.
Curries
Daal
Rice
Naan
Piratha
Sag Aloo

OR do some fancy veggies and noodles

I don't think your guests will even notice.

Fawnandwren · 04/08/2020 10:56

Jackfruit is like meat, for the meat eaters and they will probably have too much alcohol to realise it isn't meat 😂

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/08/2020 10:57

You don't get a licence to be selfish and inconsiderate just because it is your wedding day

Tell that to all the vegetarians who have gone hungry at weddings because they had to choose between meat dishes with no vegetarian option ...

SimonJT · 04/08/2020 10:57

How about a simple veg risotto as one choice? Can't really go wrong with that.

Pretty much everywhere serves a boring, poorly seasoned risotto as the vegan/veggie option, if we’re really lucky the second option is a watery lasagne, mmm!

SnuggyBuggy · 04/08/2020 11:00

Meat or not most weddings have shite food in my experience. If its good I'm pleasantly surprised if not I just figure you don't go to weddings for the food.

mamaoffourdc · 04/08/2020 11:03

Absolutely just have vegan food! Enjoy x

Itsjustabitofbanter · 04/08/2020 11:06

@user1495884620

The people who are inconsiderate and selfish are the guests moaning about the free food they’re being provided with.

It isn't free food though. Generally weddings cost a lot more to the guest in terms of gift, outfit and accommodation than they will get back in free food.

Agreed, it’s not free food. The average cost for a couple attending a U.K. wedding is over a thousand pounds. If you’re bringing children then it’s even more. You’re buying outfits, shoes, paying for hair/make up, travel expenses, cards/gifts, drinks at the wedding and accommodation. Plus having to sit through the ceremony (who seriously enjoys that bit). The only thing provided for the guests is the meal. The least you can do is provide something that they’ll really like. I’ve been to two vegan weddings and been made vegan meals, they’ve literally all been shit imo compared to meals with meat options. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect vegans to cater for people who eat meat, just like meat eaters will almost always cater for vegans. I wouldn’t expect a vegan to go through the massive effort and expense it takes to attend a wedding, and then expect them to eat a bit of side salad/veg because they don’t want to eat the meat, I’d give them something I think they’d enjoy. You e already said you think the majority of your guests won’t like it. You seriously can’t have that much aversion to meat that you can’t eat your vegan meal in the same building as your guests. I don’t think your wedding is the place to push your beliefs onto people
PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 11:08

Tell that to all the vegetarians who have gone hungry at weddings because they had to choose between meat dishes with no vegetarian option ...

Surely, it would be better directed at their hosts...

titchy · 04/08/2020 11:09

People are being ridiculous. Of course you should have a vegan wedding - you're vegans and it's your wedding!

I wonder if people vegan food is just normal food? Bread. Chips. Baked beans. Rice. Carrots. Normal everyday food that we all have every day.

To answer OP - yes I would enjoy a vegan wedding. If your friends mock you though I'd be reconsidering the friendship, and maybe not inviting them at all. No need to mention the food though - it should be fairly obvious.

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 11:12

I wonder if people vegan food is just normal food?

That is why I prefer to call it vegan friendly food. To an omnivore, food is food.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/08/2020 11:12

Surely, it would be better directed at their hosts...

You could direct it at them too - no one is stopping you.

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 11:15

You could direct it at them too - no one is stopping you.

What?

That was whole point of my original comment. You must have missed or misunderstood it.

Lightyearspast · 04/08/2020 11:16

I'm vegetarian, so I'd enjoy it! I've been to weddings where the vegetarian option was terrible - like cheap pasta sauce from a jar when everyone else was having something really fancy. But I ate it politely because I was there to celebrate someone else's day, not moan because the food didn't suit me. We offered a meat option at my wedding but I've always regretted it and felt I wasn't true to myself, so now I'd definitely have 100% veggie. I think weddings should reflect who you are, and it's not as though meat eaters can't or don't eat vegetables, so not the same as meat eaters failing to cater for veggies or vegans.

So many people seem to be assuming that vegan food = small portions. Why on earth would that be the case? Or that people are being selfish by not catering for meat eaters. It's an ethical choice, so why should you go against what you believe? Would these people say the same if the menu was based around religious food rules? If your friends and family can't enjoy the meal then hopefully they'll be polite and respect that it's your day and your choice.

ClaudiaWankleman · 04/08/2020 11:18

Generally weddings cost a lot more to the guest in terms of gift, outfit and accommodation than they will get back in free food

Gifts aren't given to be earnt back in free food though @user1495884620

You give the gift as an expression of your hope and congratulations to the couple. The relationship isn't transactional.