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Original poster

Vegan Wedding

182 replies

AmyD54321 · 04/08/2020 07:49

Partner and I are planning our wedding for next year, we’re both vegan. A lot of partner’s friends are big meat eaters and have always mocked him for his veganism, and I know they won’t take kindly to a vegan wedding, and there will definitely be a few comments on the day.

We obviously want our guests to have a brilliant time, and we both love food so will be putting a lot of our budget into the best vegan caterer we can find, but we’re anxious this will be lost on some of our guests. Most I think will be absolutely fine with and will enjoy the food, but some are less ‘open minded’ let’s say.... We really don’t want to buy any animal products, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. I don’t want to inflict my views on anyone, I generally don’t mind if people eat meat, but I just don’t want to fund it.

So I suppose my question is, would you enjoy a vegan wedding? Also, should we note this on the invitations, or just let everyone turn up unaware?

OP posts:
ivfdreaming · 04/08/2020 09:52

When most people have weddings they arrange for vegetarian and vegan options so why can't you? Seems like meat eaters are prepared to accommodate you but not the other way around?

PhoneLock · 04/08/2020 09:53

A couple choosing the food for their wedding based on their long-held principles are “selfish and inconsiderate”?

It is if the food you serve is unpalatable to your guests and you know it.

Note that I am not saying that this will be so in the OP's case, just that the notion, often seen on wedding related threads, that "It's your day so do whatever you please and sod the guests" is misguided. A good host should put their guests needs first.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 04/08/2020 09:54

@ivfdreaming
When most people have weddings they arrange for vegetarian and vegan options so why can't you? Seems like meat eaters are prepared to accommodate you but not the other way around?

Dont be utterly ridiculous. Would you expect a Muslim to serve pork?
Surely if the meat eaters are that offended then they can not go, or eat afterwards. Same as if there was only a hog roast, the vegan may not go, or eat later.

LynetteScavo · 04/08/2020 09:54

I would ask for food allergies but not mention it will be vegan.

I would totally expect vegans to have a vegan wedding. And I've never been a wedding for the food. It's half a day. If someone can't go without eating animal products for half a day, without whinging, they're a massive bellend.

The best food I've had at a wedding was all gluten and vegetarian. The worst involved school chicken chicken in sauce.

PrayingandHoping · 04/08/2020 09:55

Another thought.... if u already guess people are not going to like it....

How are u going to feel on the day when u see people pushing it around the plate and it probably going in the bin?

AnotherEmma · 04/08/2020 09:57

@ivfdreaming

When most people have weddings they arrange for vegetarian and vegan options so why can't you? Seems like meat eaters are prepared to accommodate you but not the other way around?
Meat eaters have no ethical objection to meat-free food.

Vegetarians and vegans usually have an ethical objection to meat.

So that's the difference.

(I say this as a meat-eater, btw, but there's no way I'd expect meat at a wedding of vegan friends. When my vegetarian friend got married to her meat-eating husband I was unimpressed that they had a hog roast tbh, fair enough to have meat if he wanted it but I didn't think a hog roast felt right for her wedding at all!)

user1495884620 · 04/08/2020 09:57

It's all very well asking for dietary requirements, but, unless people know it is vegan, they won't necessarily declare everything. I am intolerant to some soy products. It causes bloating and a lot of extremely, smelly wind. It can be a bit uncomfortable but is mostly extremely embarrassing, to the point where I would probably leave early. But, it isn't an allergy as such and isn't even all soy products - never had a problem with tofu, for example. I wouldn't usually declare it as a dietary requirement as the chances of being served soy is vanishingly small. Knowing it was going to be a vegan meal would make a difference.

RandomMess · 04/08/2020 09:58

I would struggle due to food intolerances tbh. I think the chances of there being a meal I could eat would be very slim indeed...

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 04/08/2020 09:58

But all omnivores, pescatarians, vegetarians and those with religious limitations can all eat vegan meals, so it's the most inclusive choice possible

This. I have been to vegan fairs held in various town halls and eaten every possible cuisine under the sun- from cupcakes, to curry, Caribbean food, bakery products, raw desserts, pies, faux meats, everything. And most was quite clearly labelled if it was gluten free or contained nuts.

I highly suggest that people try being a little bit more open minded. Im not asking everyone to go vegan but go do a bit of research on the internet and you will see there is PLENTY of choice.

JanewaysBun · 04/08/2020 09:59

Totally fine but (as with all weddings) make sure you communicate the menu to your guests I advance so they can flag any dietary issues.

Also re evaluate your friendships with people who take the piss out of your life choices!

longtompot · 04/08/2020 09:59

I enjoyed my bil & sil vegan wedding, the food was nice if slightly unusual. My dh and my ds, not so much.
I think if your caters can do a menu that's not too out there and has recognisable ingredients then everyone should be ok. There are so many plant based foods which are fantastic, and I am not vegan but am preferring a more vegetable based diet nowadays.
The main thing is it's your wedding day. If they are your friends, then they should want to celebrate that with you. Is everyone staying over in a hotel? If so, maybe they can have a full English breakfast the morning after.
I would let them know what the meal will be, so they aren't taken unawares. Though, if they know you, surely they'd know it would be this way. Also, it would give them an opportunity to sneak in a sausage roll, just to keep them going ;)

AnnaMagnani · 04/08/2020 10:00

I've been to enough weddings where the food was rubber chicken to know that meat is not the be all and end all of wedding food. Or where the guests were starving and nipping out to the One Stop shop for supplies as it was undercatered.

And at my v tiny wedding I still had to cater for halal and nut allergies - I think any caterer will be used to special diet requests.

Just make sure there is plenty of food, guests aren't bored - no enormous gap while you take 50 million photos of yourselves under a rose arbour - and allergies aside people get what they are given.

HavelockVetinari · 04/08/2020 10:01

Absolutely fine, it's one meal. However, as a PP said, there are a lot of people who can't eat chickpeas, lentils, split peas, beans due to IBS (I can't) so make sure you have alternatives to pulses.

RandomMess · 04/08/2020 10:01

I certainly wouldn't complain or think it inappropriate one of my DC is vegan and 2 are veggie.

Veterinari · 04/08/2020 10:04

How are u going to feel on the day when u see people pushing it around the plate and it probably going in the bin?

Seems a weird assumption to make...
Why would you think that would be the case?

It is if the food you serve is unpalatable to your guests and you know it.

Note that I am not saying that this will be so in the OP's case, just that the notion, often seen on wedding related threads, that "It's your day so do whatever you please and sod the guests" is misguided.

Well if you don't think it's the case in relation to this thread/OP why derail by trying to imply the OP is selfish and inconsiderate. Or do you randomly interject with tenuous personal attacks on all threads?

There are honestly some weird responses here. Considering every vegetarian/vegan at any buffet type event ever has experienced the omnivores troughing all of the vegan/veggie options along with the meaty ones, it seems odd to assume that those same vegan options instantly become unpalatable when served without meat.

Interesting and well catered vegan food is infinitely nicer than standard hotel mass catering options.

OLGADEEPOLGA · 04/08/2020 10:07

Your wedding, your choice. I'm a vegan and would defintely have a vegan option available for guests. I'd also have meat for the meat eaters but the vegan options would be AMAZING!

Zoomintheroom · 04/08/2020 10:11

I'm a meat eater and don't understand why it even needs to be mentioned that the wedding will be vegan. If the food was tasty I wouldn't actually register that it was vegan. One of my most heavily used cookbooks is a vegan one simply because the recipes are so delicious!

user1495884620 · 04/08/2020 10:14

AMAZING is subjective though and vegan covers a very wide range of options.

Somebody upthread said that a bowl of lentil soup would be boring. I would bloody love a bowl of lentil soup with some warm crusty bread and a side salad. Give me something with vegan cheese in and I would be wishing I had stopped for a sneaky maccies on the way.

SimonJT · 04/08/2020 10:14

@PhoneLock

It’s your wedding so serve the food you like!!

You don't get a licence to be selfish and inconsiderate just because it is your wedding day.

The people who are inconsiderate and selfish are the guests moaning about the free food they’re being provided with.
paap1975 · 04/08/2020 10:15

I've never heard of anyone dying of starvation at a wedding. Just make sure there's plenty of choice.
I would never expect a vegetarian friend to serve up meat to me. You are paying, you serve what you want.

user1495884620 · 04/08/2020 10:17

I meant to add to my previous post...

Wedding food is generally "safe". You pretty much know that you are going to get a lump of meat, a choice of potato and some fancy veg. If you have dietary requirements or are super fussy, you can let the host know. At the very least, if you know you won't eat the meal, you can prepare by eating beforehand or sneaking in some snacks.

HavelockVetinari · 04/08/2020 10:19

Pasta and potatoes are your friends here, practically everybody will eat chips, even fussy eaters.

PrayingandHoping · 04/08/2020 10:20

@Veterinari because plenty of people don't like or can't eat the ingredients that make up a vast majority of vegan food. People aren't going to force themselves to eat something they don't like! It will end up on the bin.

And non vegan food doesn't just mean meat. Hence the difference between vegetarian etc and vegan. Vegan is v restrictive.

user1495884620 · 04/08/2020 10:20

The people who are inconsiderate and selfish are the guests moaning about the free food they’re being provided with.

It isn't free food though. Generally weddings cost a lot more to the guest in terms of gift, outfit and accommodation than they will get back in free food.

bookmum08 · 04/08/2020 10:28

If it's buffet style I wouldn't even notice. It would probably be the first wedding I have been too that I would enjoy the food (I have been to 4 weddings including my own). I am not vegetarian but I absolutely hate the 'sunday lunch' type meals that these formal events tend to have. I also wouldn't even notice if there was no alcohol but it seems from reading Mumsnet for a few years now people can't seem to survive any meal without 'a nice bottle of wine'. I would rather have a big choice of juices (there is more in the world than orange or apple) and more variety of fizzy than lemonade or diet Coke.