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Original poster

AIBU to be embarrased about this...

99 replies

Peggydd · 05/05/2019 20:37

So basically yesterday my DM & DF got invited to the evening reception of a good friends’ daughter’s wedding.

I’ve just found out that they turned up at the church to watch the bride and groom get married! They weren’t asked to come along nor did they ask if they could attend that part.

AIBU to be embarrased that they just did this? I am mortified on the bride’s behalf. Their other friends also got invited to the whole event so perhaps their friend (whose DD got married) is now embarrased that she didn’t invite my parents to the whole thing?

As a back story DM has told me that if people get married in a church anyone can attend the ceremony and also in the past this did frequently happen, even if you weren’t invited to the reception. I personally don’t get why you would do this?

I didn’t get married in a church and nor has anyone else i know, but i don’t think DM has ever got over this. I also don’t think she understands that times have moved on and that wedding ‘traditions’ aren’t what they used to be! Cringe!!!

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 05/05/2019 21:05

It's fine as long as they didn't crash the reception. The ceremony is my favourite part of the day.

justasking111 · 05/05/2019 21:09

Perfectly normal. I went to see someone at the church as did others. It was lovely to see the bride arrive.

Littlepond · 05/05/2019 21:10

Completely normal! Why on Earth are you mortified?!

Russell19 · 05/05/2019 21:11

Normal. Lots did it at my wedding. Work friends etc and others. They sat right at the back x

Queenbetty · 05/05/2019 21:11

Totally normal in Scotland

whitehalleve · 05/05/2019 21:13

Normal. Also it's not for you to get embarrassed by another adults behaviour.

Expressedways · 05/05/2019 21:14

This is a thing. I had a few of my friends’ parents who weren’t invited to any of my wedding come to the church.
As long as they didn’t make any snide comments about not being invited to the reception then they did absolutely nothing wrong.

Sexnotgender · 05/05/2019 21:16

Totally normal!

I don’t understand what you’re cringing about.

INeedAFlerken · 05/05/2019 21:17

Not really a big deal, OP. Churches are open to the public, even for weddings. As long as they were respectful and polite, who cares?

Macandcheese05 · 05/05/2019 21:18

my grandma regularly attends her friends childrens/grandchildrens weddings. she just loves to see the dress and the flowers and thinks the ceremonies are the most important part. she then tries to sneak away before anyone chats to her and leaves (even if asked to stay out of politeness). i think its odd but very sweet at the same time.

WeeDangerousSpike · 05/05/2019 21:22

My parents had 2 American tourists in the back of the church when they got married!

Accountant222 · 05/05/2019 21:39

My mother's generation often did this, I'd be dragged along as a child to watch someone's wedding, usually to see them coming out of church. Personally it's something I'd never do.

BackforGood · 05/05/2019 21:41

The only thing you need to be embarrassed about is your opening post Hmm

What your parents did is absolutely normal.
Everyone is welcome at the Church. The actual marriage ceremony is the most important part of the day.
Why wouldn't you go, if you were able ? Confused

thelastgoldeneagle · 05/05/2019 21:45

If you didn’t marry in a church and don’t know anyone who did, then perhaps your mum does know better than you!

What she did was fine. Not cringe at all. What’s wrong with tradition?!

A church is open to the public. Anyone can come to a wedding. Grow up!

Spotsandstars · 05/05/2019 21:48

Of course that's normal!

Andoffwegoagain · 05/05/2019 21:48

I’m a church goer- really normal in Christian circles. Lots of the congregation will come to a church wedding, even if not ‘invited’ at all, it would be considered the main part and not weird do this.

Can see if you aren’t from this background it might seem odd.

Andoffwegoagain · 05/05/2019 21:49

I’m a millennial btw, not an old fashioned thing.

windysowindy · 06/05/2019 07:07

In my village anyone attends weddings. I remember all the extras that came to my brother's wedding.
Mostly 70+ Smile
They sit at the back and then go.
It is a thing.

ImposterSyndrome101 · 06/05/2019 07:36

Anyone can turn up to the actual wedding part. That’s why they’re asked ‘if anyone knows why these two people can’t be married’. The church I attend announces all engagements during the service and then in he three weeks before the wedding will announce it at every service asking if anyone has legal objections to the couple.

PaperHead · 06/05/2019 07:41

Not need to cringe. This is a normal thing to do. The bride and groom clearly decided against issuing the kind of invitation which specifies the ceremony and the evening reception, but leaves you cooling your heels during the meal, but anyone, even total strangers, can attend the ceremony.

FrancisCrawford · 06/05/2019 07:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreSlidingDoors · 06/05/2019 07:45

In England and Wales any legal wedding has to be open to the public by law.

CherryPavlova · 06/05/2019 07:47

So much nicer if the church is full and people want to be part of the wedding service rather than just go to a party. Good on your parents.

OKBobble · 06/05/2019 07:47

Yes YABU to be embarrassed.

RaggieDolls · 06/05/2019 07:49

Members of congregation came to my wedding along with a family who were invited in the evening just like your parents. Their young daughters wanted to see my dress! I was really touched by this!