So disappointed with ds GCSEs

301 replies

Gigabell · 20/08/2026 13:41

He got mostly 4s, a couple of 3s and one 5. He was predicted 6s and 7s.

This isn't the first time he has not performed as well as expected- we had the same issue with the 11+. He seems to be perfectly capable until the exam.

It makes me feel like a failure for not pushing him more, but I feel like I do push him. We had so many arguments over the last couple of years about refusing to revise or barely putting any effort in. It frustrates me so much. He refused to attend revision sessions before the exams, and if we suggested things to help revise he wouldn't listen. Dh and I did very well in our own GCSEs many years ago without any of the support or help we have provided ds so it feels like a kick in the teeth. We failed and got it wrong somehow and somewhere.

He has always been like this though - he just won't be told and now he is sad. And I feel terrible. All his plans are up in the air while we wait to see where he can go next.

We have given him so many opportunities - all the extra curricular I wished I had had a chance to do but never did (tailored to him and his likes of course), music lessons, sports, trips and visits, a house full of books and every other resource we can provide. But it all means nothing, he barely puts any effort in and it feels like he just doesn't care.

And then, all the school's words about "if it doesn't work out there are options..." turn out to mean nothing because when I asked what next they basically just shrugged and said he doesn't meet the requirements, there is nothing we can do.

I am of course venting here to avoid damaging him by saying something hurtful and harming our relationship.

OP posts:

Astoreilike · 23/08/2026 16:15

whittingtonmum · 21/08/2026 00:26

I had to put huge effort into getting my son to revise for GCSE. I started before the first mocks in Year 10 and kept pushing the boulder up the hill. I simply didn't take no for an answer. Luckily at least a few months before the exams he started working hard himself but some subjects he disliked I still had to basically sit next to him to make sure he revised them. It was utterly exhausting. I had also made him apply to one sixth form which would have let him in with pretty poor grades as a last resort option alongside applying to the options he wanted. Thankfully he received good grades but he still missed a criteria for one of his chosen subjects so both me and DH turned up at the school pleading and because it was a minor miss they let him in.

So for some kids the amount of support they need from parents to do well is near impossible to provide. I definitely came to the verge of burnout.

I do not agree for a second with those who say he needs to sort himself out. They are 16 and the options - if you can't get into sixth form - are complex and overwhelming and many at this age have no idea what they can realistically aim for. So I would be heavily involved in researching options for him and getting him on some kind of trajectory with prospects, a chance of obtaining a place and something he has some interest in.

While I would tell him that my love is unconditional I would also be clear that in my opinion he has let himself down by not trying hard enough and now you seriously expect him to change this attitude and try harder on the new path ahead.

I would be pushy and demanding because this is the last chance you get to have any influence at all. There's a real chance he has learned his lesson and he still needs your support at such a young age.

This wasn’t in the interests of your son @whittingtonmum that is for sure

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