is this a truly terrible idea?

[wedings]

Without giving away too many details. DP and my family travelled very far for the wedding and we won't see them in person again for ages.

Having a tiny wedding with just core fam and friends.

Is it a terrible idea to announce our 5/6 week pregnancy?

We really really want to. Know odds of keeping pregnancy are 90-95%.

We would be telling all these people if we had a misscarriage anyway.

I can imagine this moment being truly special and I would like to make a beautiful moment with the assumption that all will be well.

What are your thoughts?

Go for it @wedings. It sounds like you have a close and supportive family and this baby would be very much wanted by everyone. If you miscarried, you’d have those very same people to support you..
and yes, they will be on pins! But excited pins!

I think it's a lovely idea!!
You're in a room full of your nearest and dearest, what better way?!
I know it's early days, but I really think the "12 week thing" is a taboo - personally I told loads of people early on because I knew I'd need support if the worst happened.
Just make it clear that you're telling them early - they'll all get it and know the score.
Good luck!! Xxxx

It's your wedding, do what you want!

if you would tell them about a miscarriage anyway there's no downside.

Ah ok so i read your first post and thought absofuckinglutely not!! But then I saw YOU are the bride so absofuckinglutely YES!

Sadly miscarriage does happen, I've had 3 and I found the 2nd two easier to deal with as I'd told people early (5/6 weeks) I was pregnant, (like you nearest and dearest not an ad in the newspaper lol) so I had the support I needed when it didn't remain a viable pregnancy. The first time telling people I was pregnant but.. only for them to jump in squealing with congratulations before they processed I'd said but was just extra shitty and hard at an already shitty and hard time (obviously I got better at how I told people but yeah hard lesson learnt the hard way)

I understand and support its a personal choice when and who to tell but I hate the whole don't tell until second trimester "rule" that many feel they have to abide by, you don't and in my opinion shouldn't.

Congratulations @wedings on both your upcoming wedding and on your pregnancy. I wish you and your soon to be DH a lifetime of laughter love and partnership and I wish you both a lifetime of patience as parents 😜😂🥰❤️😘

Look: were I the bride I wouldn't care. I'm not as sold on weddings as a lot of Mumsnetters appear to be and I don't 'get' this compelling need to dictate what colours must or mustn't be worn or why other people can't be pleased about someone's pregnancy at the same time as I'm getting married, or why hell must freeze over because all eyes are not on the bride every single moment of the day.

But - whilst I might feel that way, not everyone is the same. Which is why I would never even think of doing this.

Why this compelling recent need to 'announce' anything?

Just tell the people you'd like to know without some big ceremony. Especially when it's on the back of someone else's ceremony.

Ah. I've misread the OP and realised that it's actually your wedding. Which makes everything I've posted above completely pointless (and posters don't have an immediate ability to just delete a post).

I might be inclined to ask MN to edit the original, which could avoid the rest of your thread being cluttered up with irrelevancies like mine above.

Do whatever you like! I've been to a wedding where it was announced in the speeches (at a similarly intimate wedding) and it was lovely. That said I kinda think you have two happy things - why not let each one be their own happy occasion.

Well this is fine. Congratulations!

Friend did the same, it was lovely.

Just tell them, it will be a lovely surprise at the end of the wedding. A baby is a blessing. Congratulations

No dont tell them. Let them have their limelight and you can have yours later x

Ask the bride and groom first, some would love it, some would hate it.

It’s your wedding, but I really don’t see the point of telling them. It’s not just the miscarriage thing (and miscarriages before 12 weeks are more common than you think), it will make the pregnancy very long for them, and it’s a bit pointless. Enjoy your wedding for itself, see how things go, and announce the pregnancy as a bonus bit of good news in a couple of months.

I think that would the case whether they announce it or not. Sadly.

Not I, I’m afraid 😳

Well, for the OP, absolutely, either way, but I think I’d rather my wedding stayed as a thing in itself, unassociated with the bride’s miscarriage, in other people’s minds. I mean, I don’t think it’s something I’d find helpful in the future.

Congratulations!

I found myself in your situ when we were getting married. We told noone. We waited until the first 12wks were up and then said I was pregnant.

We told my parents before 12 weeks and it was lovely seeing their faces. Ultimately, you just need to know that if something occurs are you OK to call them all and tell them and have them all speaking to you about it. It sounds like you are, other than that, there's no real reason not to (if you want to). With my 2nd I kept it to myself a while as I liked the secret feeling - different strokes for different pregnancies. Once it's out there, you can't take it back, so just be sure it's definitely what you want.
I'd personally keep them separate because then you get to share 2 lovely moments, one is the wedding and then hopefully in 8 weeks time you get to share the scan photo and the news. However, I can see wanting to do it now and it being a lovely end to the celebrations. It's entirely up to you. Also be aware, some people are superstitious and may feel worried about you declaring it so early - you'll have to phrase it right so they don't feel concerned I think!

They are the bride and groom - it's their wedding

Sorry, i read it as they're going to somebody else's wedding. If it's your wedding absolutely announce whatever you want.

Sorry I obviously wrote the post really poorly by not making it explicit that I am the bride.

Turns out I am actully further along that I originally thought. I hadn't taken into account the dates from my last period. I don't track these things as while I was hoping to get pregnant I wasn't really going to try until after the wedding.

So I expect I am 8-9 weeks maybe. Does this make sense?

Would you be more inclined to say yes to a 8-9 week pregnancy than a 5 week?

You’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you. For what it’s worth, I absolutely would (and did) tell people before 12 weeks.

if it’s your wedding, yes. If it’s not your wedding, absolutely not.

lol. You needed to say that!
yes announce it if you want to!!

If it wasnt your wedding then terrible idea would be an understatement.

If it's your wedding then it's a great idea.