is this a truly terrible idea?

[wedings]

Without giving away too many details. DP and my family travelled very far for the wedding and we won't see them in person again for ages.

Having a tiny wedding with just core fam and friends.

Is it a terrible idea to announce our 5/6 week pregnancy?

We really really want to. Know odds of keeping pregnancy are 90-95%.

We would be telling all these people if we had a misscarriage anyway.

I can imagine this moment being truly special and I would like to make a beautiful moment with the assumption that all will be well.

What are your thoughts?

I am an auntie and can confirm I would still think jesus god get a grip of yourself if witness to a Big Reveal of this nature

Surely that association will happen whether you announce the pregnancy or not.

That says a lot more about you TBH

If it's a small intimate wedding and you tell people at breakfast the next day, with the caveat it's early days but you wanted to be able to tell people face to face I think it's lovely. It's not an insta announcement! You're just telling your closest circle which is your choice.
I didn't tell anyone that early but only because I didn't know until I was 10.5 weeks! I then had my booking in a few days later and a scan that day, I told my parents before the scan and PIL that afternoon as we were going up to visit them for a beer/music festival in their village and it would've been noticed I wasn't drinking. All knew I had diagnosed fertility issues so it was very much a honeymoon surprise for us as we were not actively trying or engaged in any treatment.

It’s your decision but I’d rather have 2 special occasions a wedding and then the excitement of a new baby ? If you’ve been together for years maybe not x

Where are you getting the "Big Reveal" part?

Why do people post without pronouns these days?

Having a tiny wedding with just core fam and friends.

Why isn't this a full sentence with We are... at the beginning? Frequently posters miss out My/His/Our friend/sister/mum, leaving posters to guess!

I actually think it is done on purpose to be vague and pull in replies.

The OP refers twice to making ‘a beautiful moment’ and also to ‘having no doubt it will be an amazing moment’, and talks about her own excitement at other people’s pregnancies. Her chief concern, which she reiterates twice, is whether her wedding guests will be ‘excited’ enough if she announces this early, compared to if she announces at twelve weeks. I think it’s pretty plain this is ‘Big Reveal at the post-wedding breakfast’ territory, and that she will be gutted if the guests say ‘That’s nice, hope you’re not feeling too bad’ and go back to discussing their hangovers.

They won’t though will they, they are close family and friends, they will be pleased for her, even if a little cautiously. I don’t think there’s any need for pussy footing around with keeping fingers crossed, that’s just so depressing. Just say “we’ve just found out I’m pregnant and are delighted”.

Yes, the OP was confusing. Very difficult to understand - I am still confused by the opening sentence about how they travelled to a wedding?

Sure they’ll be pleased, but I’m not sure everyone’s going to reach the heights of joy the OP claims she feels at other people’s pregnancy announcements. My mother (who was eventually delighted) went totally silent for about five minutes. My MIL said ‘An only is a lonely!’ My sister burst into tears in the middle of a crowded restaurant. My other sister said ‘Yeah, I knew. You looked weird and weren’t drinking.’ (These were all individual one-on-one conversations.) People have their own, individual responses to stuff, even when they’re pleased.

I think she means her parents will have travelled a long way to her wedding?

It's up to you when and how you announce your pregnancy, but once you have done so, the news will get out to your wider circle. It is not realistic to expect that none of your guests will mention it to anyone 'beyond the room'.

Congratulations OP, sounds absolutely lovely to me. Sharing it with your closest family and friends in person will make it even more special.

This. I’d politely congratulate and be happy but I’d be there for the wedding not for a baby announcement. Most baby announcements unless they’re for close family aren’t the most exciting news anyway, even if the couple’s been trying for a while. Is it some kind of stealth brag too, like “I can still fit into this wedding dress yet I’m pregnant”?!

This is really a question for you to answer using your own knowledge of the people you would like to tell. We’re not going to be able to guess how it will go down as don’t know any of them.

Just tell them, I don’t know why there’s all this secrecy about the early stages, it just clouds miscarriage in a cloak of secrecy which is very old fashioned and unnecessary. I did the done thing and waited for my first and then had to tell everyone I had been pregnant and had a miscarriage all at the same time (12 weeks) which was just a lot for everyone including me to take in. So on my next pregnancy I told everyone in my close circle as soon as I knew, so they could support me the entire way even if I lost it. This felt much better and less alone to me. People should just tell if they want to and not if they prefer to be more private. Go with your gut it sounds lovely to tell everyone on your special day xx

Exactly, this is what I said earlier, I told people once I knew with no requirement not to tell anyone else, it made it a lot easier when I did miscarry that everyone already knew I was pregnant and I had lots of support from friends and family. I dislike all this superstitious “wait till 12 weeks” thing, it does make it into a taboo when both pregnancy and miscarriages are normal medical events, albeit with a lot of emotions attached. I’ve always been open about my miscarriages, so it encourages others to feel they can talk about the subject if they wish to. Others can choose privacy if they prefer but there seems to be so much judgement attached to women who tell before 12 weeks and that is very wrong IMO.

How far along are younow and at the wedding?
You might actually find it difficult to keep secret anyway - symptoms peak at 8 -10 weeks so you might be suffering a little even before that. Plus everyone will notice if you usually drink and arnt. My own experience is clouding my perception though - 1st I had hyperemesis from 5 weeks, second from 3.5 weeks. There would have been no keeping anything secret.
I have been lucky enough not to miscarry (HG apparently can make them stick) however echoing others - miscarriage is so common, it does need to be talked about more, supported, grieved and yes if the worst does happen it will mean your wedding memories will be bittersweet but they probably would be anyway whether you told or not. Congratulations. Xx

I wouldn't really mind if the extended family found out. but I would like the opportunity to tell them at 12 weeks

My MIL has been waiting a very long time and is very expressive

Does this mean you’ll have to contain her emotions as well as yours?

@NoCommentingFromNowOn no I expect this to be a really lovely moment

I meant more if you do end up unfortunately having a miscarriage (which has been mentioned as a reason to not tell people so early by someone else) then will your MILs sadness be overwhelming as you described her as ‘very expressive’ and ‘been waiting a long time’ which made me think she might be a bit…..highly strung sort of thing? I know she will see you telling her as a really lovely moment, definitely.

It just struck me that her potential response might be something to consider more than you would need to with other peoples responses.

Know odds of keeping pregnancy are 90-95%
At 5 or 6 weeks? Who told you this?

Don't be silly. They will be excited because they lvoe you. I found out my niece is pregnant today. She's 10 weeks. When she left I told her I loved her (normal) and told baby I loved them too!