is this a truly terrible idea?

[wedings]

Without giving away too many details. DP and my family travelled very far for the wedding and we won't see them in person again for ages.

Having a tiny wedding with just core fam and friends.

Is it a terrible idea to announce our 5/6 week pregnancy?

We really really want to. Know odds of keeping pregnancy are 90-95%.

We would be telling all these people if we had a misscarriage anyway.

I can imagine this moment being truly special and I would like to make a beautiful moment with the assumption that all will be well.

What are your thoughts?

My first thought was what a lovely idea and maybe you could tie it into the speeches to make it surprise.

However, now I've thought about, I wouldn't do it. If you announce your pregnancy, your wedding will become about that, not your wedding. That is what people will remember.

You will have the rest of your lives with the focus on your child/ren. So take advantage of this day being about you as a couple.

Good luck with everything.

Go for it. It's the perfect time to tell all those you are closest too. As a PP suggested maybe start with "it's very early days but we want to share some exciting news with you...." The announcement will make the wedding celebration extra special. Have a wonderful wedding and an even better marriage.

Maybe the poster missed the separate post in which OP said it's her wedding.

I think some responses skipped over that - obviously if ot was someone else's wedding it would be very self centred and potentially could be called narcissistic.

🙄

I told everyone straight away. I had the joy of sharing it with family and friends.
And support when it went wrong.
I’ll take that joy, any day.

(now have DC and still told everyone straight away!)

You can say whatever you like but don’t be too disappointed if they’re not crazy excited about it. It’s very early days. Personally, I wouldn’t, we haven’t told anyone until after the scan at 13 weeks.

Dd2 told me very early (basically at 4 weeks) and I have to admit I wish she hadn't as it was difficult getting excited knowing the risk of miscarriage and I wasn't able to tell anyone else. I didn't tell my own parents until I was 25 weeks with dd1 as we lived abroad. Maybe I'm weird but dd1 is currently 6 months pregnant and I'd have been fine just finding out - we talk regularly but she lives a few hours away.

Yeah I hate the whole 'don't announce until you're 12 weeks along' thing because what happens is you end up in hospital without any support (or at least that's what happened to me). Wouldn't advise.

If you want to announce do so. It's your wedding.

Don’t share information and then ask people to keep it secret.

Once told, this becomes their life experience as well. For example, they are about to become a grandparent or uncle and may be excited.

I would. I announced my pregnancies to my nearest and dearest as soon as I was sure. Wouldn't have occurred to me to wait because then you're into all that faff of trying to hide early weight gain, excuses for tiredness, not drinking etc.
Congratulations on both counts. Hope your wedding and announcement is beautiful.

I used to be in favour of telling people early on in my pregnancies, because I was excited, was an open sort of person, and thought I'd be open about a miscarriage if one happened. But when it actually happened and I had my first miscarriage, I felt differently about it. Every person who knew I was pregnant, needed to be told I'd had a MC. Most people who've had a mc are upset, hormonal, sensitive in the early days. When you tell people, most mean well but some react in ways that hurt you at the time, eg implying it was something you'd done, that you'd not rested enough. Some try to help by reassuring you that they "know" you'll be pregnant again within weeks (where do they keep that crystal ball? And do they know that women prone to miscarriage, often have multiple mcs?). Sometimes you get questions that can be very upsetting. And you're dealing with all this, not with the naive, optimistic and excited mind that you had before, but with a mind that is bruised, a lost innocence, your hormones reeling. So, lovely enthusiastic OP, I'm afraid you cannot possibly know how you'd feel if this little one of yours cannot stay with you. You might wish that younger you had protected her later self from some of this. I wholeheartedly hope your little spark of life grows strong and thrives, but there is good sense behind the tradition of waiting until the first trimester before sharing the news. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester and there's a late blip of missed mcs approaching 12 weeks. If it happens and you want to tell your family for support, you can do that at a time if your choosing. It's not just people being old-fashioned. It's about protecting yourself at your most vulnerable time.

The way I read this is that close family and friends who you don't get to see often, will have travelled a long way to celebrate your wedding with you, and you would like to share your wonderful pregnancy news the next morning as you won't have the opportunity to tell them in person at the 12-week stage on account of how far away they live.

I think it is a fantastic idea, and you know your family and friends and how happy they will be to hear the news. Most people understand the risks at this early stage, but I think it is a risk worth taking to get that lovely opportunity to share the news face to face. I would do it (if my husband agreed). I told close family about my pregnancies before the 12 week stage, mainly so I could ask advice, and share the expeirence with them - and I knew that if something went wrong I would be turning to them for support, even if that was just emotional support over the phone.

I think everyone there will be thrilled for you and will understand why you told them at this early stage, as a face to face announcement is special, and they all get to hear at the same time. Congratulations on your wedding and pregnancy and I hope both events are very special for you all.

I've very sorry for your loss. I hadn't seen your post before I submitted mine, so I hope it doesn't come across as insensitive. I've been fortunate not to be in that situation and cannot imagine how I would feel if I were.

Why not? Go for it!

Not terrible, but worth thinking through a couple of angles before you commit to it.
The case for: you've got a rare gathering of exactly the people who'd want to know, who you won't see again for a long time, and who you'd tell regardless of outcome. That's a genuinely good reason — it's not the same as announcing to the world on social media where you can't control who finds out and how. A contained, trusted group at a wedding is about as safe a context as this kind of announcement gets.
The things I'd weigh:
Whose moment is it. A wedding is normally about the couple getting married. If it's your wedding, it's yours to do what you like with. If it's someone else's, that's a different conversation — worth checking your details there, because "stealing the spotlight" is the single most common objection this kind of thing gets on Mumsnet.
How you do it matters more than whether you do it. A quiet, warm mention during a toast or over dinner lands very differently from a big planned reveal with props or a formal announcement moment. Given it's early days, something low-key probably serves you better than a full "moment" — it gives you the joy of sharing without it needing to be the centrepiece of the day.
The 5-10% possibility. You've clearly thought about the odds, which is good. Just worth being honest with yourself that if things did change, you'd be doing so in front of a group who all know — there's no undoing that. It sounds like you're at peace with that trade-off already, and that's really the only person's call to make.
If it were me: I'd lean toward telling people, but casually rather than as a big set-piece — something like it coming up naturally in conversation rather than "we have an announcement." That way it still feels special without it needing to carry the whole emotional weight of the day.

I think it’s a lovely idea.
If something went wrong, then as you say you’d be telling people anyway as you’d want their support.

You could do an additional speech at the end of the night, so it’s all about the wedding until then, or drop something casually into one of the day time speeches and wait for the penny to drop with your friends and family.

If you did want to wait, you could send thank you cards to people in a few weeks and tell them your news in that, have a pic of the scan on the front? . Appreciate people aren’t there to hear it from you but it’s an option maybe?

Thank you. My losses were all a long time ago and I was lucky to have another child after the third, who is now a healthy teenager. I had previously been convinced that, if I had a loss, I'd just pick myself up, dust myself down, and carry on. It turned out that you can't know how you'd feel, just like you cannot know how having a baby will feel until it's happened.
We can't live life on the basis of what if something goes wrong, but it's worth giving some thought to.

It's too early, the risk of a miscarriage is still significant (sorry). Celebrate your wedding with your loved ones. Then a few weeks later, after your first scan, you can phone your loved ones to tell them and they'll be just as happy for you.

No, disgusting at someone else’s, at yours only after 3 months.

I’d go for an early scan the day before to see if there a fetal pole yet. If there is, I’d tell them

It's not a terrible idea, but only share your news if you're comfortable with it spreading beyond your close inner circle. Because it will.

It's your wedding so if you're comfortable making the announcement early and will be ok with the people involved knowing if it did turn out not to be a successful pregnancy then go for it.

I have been at a wedding where the couple announced their twin pregnancy during the speeches and it was a lovely moment but they then sadly lost one of the babies later on which makes it a rather bittersweet memory. Congratulations and all the best for your marriage and pregnancy.

Of course its a lovely idea
doubling the joy !!

Is it your wedding? Then yes, go ahead.

Follow your gut feeling OP.
If you want to share, then do.