Sure teacher is lying, but can't prove it

[Chew33]

My 12 year old son received a detention (c2) for talking in class. He is usually as good as gold and gets great feedback, so this was very unusual. He said he got this with no verbal warning or c1, which is the procedure they're supposed to follow. He said she shouted c2 whilst pointing at him from across the room.
I challenged the procedure not being followed. The teacher emailed me in response with a completely different version of events. She said he'd had several warnings, then. C1 from her, then a c2 from the librarian! My son has admitted he was talking too much, but is adamant her version was no where near the truth. He even checked with one of the kids after the fact, who agreed.
I know when my kid lies. He goes bright red and its so obvious atm. I know he's telling the truth, and I'm disgusted how he's been treated. I think she just lost her temper and knows she did wrong. The detention itself was very short and never recorded in the system. He said she just said as this is your first strike and you're usually so good let's let this one go.

So I emailed back expressing i understood his talking was unacceptable, however I was very concerned about the difference in recalling events. She's doubled down and said her report is accurate.

Do I let this one go, or not? My gut is telling me she's definitely lying, but I don't know what to do or its worth pursuing further.

Is this serious? Even if the teacher gave the OP's DS a straight C2, I have never worked in a school where that was impossible anyway. As PPs say, for something quite serious there would be no warning.

Yes maybe this situation was not that serious. Maybe she should have given a C1. Maybe she did. There's no way of knowing. And I agree with those saying that the protocol around the detention is hardly the main issue here.

OP please don't write a letter to go on the teacher's file. There is no need. Let it go.

This ^

Similar incidents where a teacher gives a detention for talking?

I cant believe I'm reading this! This is crazy ....

Oh wow. He is 12 so you have a few more years of knobheadery to go. Don’t teach him he might get his own way if he stamps his feet!

This in spades. Kids know they can get away with a lot if they put on a goody goody front to hapless parents.

Who'd be a teacher nowadays ffs?

Overall he’s a good lad and he’s got one detention. Chill out, it’s no biggie.

I retired from my middle management post 8 years ago. I recall having to deal with parents who angrily complained that their offspring hadn't been given a warning but had gone straight to a sanction after throwing missiles or destroying books or other materials.

Some parents are truly unbelievable.

My son got his first ever "bad mark" on classcharts for not submitting homework when the teacher had brought forward the deadline from Wednesday to Monday without telling the class. Half the class got the bad marks. I work in the school, but I chose to see it as a learning opportunity that sometimes life is unfair and you just carry on. I think the lesson in resilience is more important than mummy saving him every time.

Agreed. Teachers do not give out detentions willy nilly.

Some people are missing the fact that at detention does not only inconvenience those being detained; it also inconveniences the person supervising. Anyone who genuinely believes that teachers give out detentions for no reason is lacking in logic.

absolutely this.

OP, you ask for opinions then double down on on this idea that the teacher is in the wrong rather than your son.

Hopefully

How is this possible these days? All the schools round here have locks/fobs for the staff, so parents can't get in without being escorted. Is that not the same for all schools, or did the dad break in somehow? No wonder his son's like that, but I hope the police were called if a parent's breaking in, threatening staff and presumably scaring the kids.
And yes, it's unbelievable that parents are arguing with teachers like this.

You’re massively over thinking this. Teacher says it’s a c2 then it’s a c2 and your son needs to not talk in class. Lesson learned. I say this as a parent with dc in year 10 and 13. Your ds is a good boy but made a mistake. Even if the teacher made a wrong call, like a referee in a football match, they make the call they make at the time with 30 other dc in the mix. You need to chill.

In 25 years of teaching if I had a pound for every time a young man has been “adamant” I’d be a billionaire. If you get him out of this detention his behaviour will plummet. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad lad just a talkative one. Nothing wrong in that. I’m sorry to break it to you but kids lie, and so do adults. The teacher probably has shit coming at them from management, kids and parents, give them a break and get your son to the detention and tell him to do his chatting in social time. He’ll get there, it’s not a biggie.

Like the kid’s “file” will follow him in 20 years time. 🤣🤣🤣

Parents like you are the reason that no one wants to teach anymore - defensive, deluded and hellbent on dismantling the system. Your child was disruptive and is lying about it; you are entitled and precious. Give it up - you are an absolute laughing stock.

This is such a non issue. By the way you’re acting I would hazard a guess your son isn’t as well behaved as you think. This post is all not my little prince he couldn’t possibly be in the wrong, and even if the teacher didn’t follow the correct procedure so what? It was a short detention- hardly a war crime. Get over it, what are you hoping to achieve here?

You know what else are good things to teach your son?

Life isn’t fair. Other people aren’t perfect. Know when to just let it go.

What on earth do you hope to achieve by creating such a fuss?

Absolutely bonkers. You're being one of 'those' parents.

Could you just, not?

I would treat it as a learning experience. Teachers are just people and get it wrong sometimes.

Deal.

Someone asked earlier if I'm autistic and struggle with procedure not being followed. Yes we both are on the spectrum with a several types or neuro divergent symdromes and I do struggle with such things, especially when tired. My past experience has also coloured my view of school systems. I'm working hard at getting better at letting go which is why I stopped and questioned myself and asked for advice. For those that gave constructive and kinder advice, thank you.

Recently retired teacher here.
If I had a pound for every parent who came into to defend their dear child against my word and subsequent action I'd be laughing all the way to the bank . Thankfully many don't come in raging at you.

It's tough with 30 children in front of you, sometimes you just have to read the room for what you see & hopefully parents will agree with your actions.
"Parents like you are the reason that no one wants to teach anymore"

Some of us have been teaching since the last millenium…

I can confirm that there are lessons where 29 children learn nothing due to really poor behaviour by one child. This child repeatedly has the front to behave this way because historically his mum will issue complaints to the school when he is sanctioned. It adds an extra hour onto an already fraught day. Every time. It prevents you looking at the work that 29 children have produced. So you basically say to the class, get your reading books out but even then the boy disrupts and prevents them doing that.
Every time I have this child in my class I just want to leave teaching because I cannot stand being thus disempowered from serving 29 young people because of one badly parented kid with a twat for a parent.
Quite often I cry about this. It's not sustainable for a human being. Having a person in the room who wrecks things for everyone including yourself, and you have no way of making them exit that room. It's actually a reverse form of bullying, which other teachers will recognise. Yes. Children bullying qualified highly skilled adults who are there to keep them safe and give them opportunities. Supported in this bullying by their parents.

That's why teachers leave.