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Sure teacher is lying, but can't prove it

257 replies

Chew33 · 16/05/2026 22:08

My 12 year old son received a detention (c2) for talking in class. He is usually as good as gold and gets great feedback, so this was very unusual. He said he got this with no verbal warning or c1, which is the procedure they're supposed to follow. He said she shouted c2 whilst pointing at him from across the room.
I challenged the procedure not being followed. The teacher emailed me in response with a completely different version of events. She said he'd had several warnings, then. C1 from her, then a c2 from the librarian! My son has admitted he was talking too much, but is adamant her version was no where near the truth. He even checked with one of the kids after the fact, who agreed.
I know when my kid lies. He goes bright red and its so obvious atm. I know he's telling the truth, and I'm disgusted how he's been treated. I think she just lost her temper and knows she did wrong. The detention itself was very short and never recorded in the system. He said she just said as this is your first strike and you're usually so good let's let this one go.

So I emailed back expressing i understood his talking was unacceptable, however I was very concerned about the difference in recalling events. She's doubled down and said her report is accurate.

Do I let this one go, or not? My gut is telling me she's definitely lying, but I don't know what to do or its worth pursuing further.

OP posts:
BurnoutGP · 16/05/2026 22:44

You're bonkers.

Octavia64 · 16/05/2026 22:45

Ex teacher

every kid who talks in lesson says they haven’t been given a warning.

at my school we used to have a procedure where we had to clearly say to the student “this is your warning” and get them to repeat back to make clear they had heard.

we STILL got students saying they weren’t given a warning first.

look, your kid was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. The teacher pulled him up on it.

without cctv in the classroom there’s no evidence either way but in my experience many if not most teens will misrepresent the case,

I have lost track of the number of parents who when shown cctv of an incident say “well that’s not what my Freddie told me had happened”,

he was in the wrong
he got a detention

end of.

Superhansrantowindsor · 16/05/2026 22:46

You are wasting the teachers time.
You should be focussing on the fact your son admitted he was talking too much. Tell him to shut up , respect the teacher and let the other kids who know how to behave complete their work in peace.

Sandysandybeaches · 16/05/2026 22:48

Teacher version (I imagine) in the staff room : x’s mum has gone off on one because I gave x a quick detention for persistently talking in class - she knows he was talking but is ‘disgusted with how he’s been treated’ and doesn’t believe that he was warned. WTF!! I’ve just had to spend half an hour replying to her rant. I even made a point of telling him he was normally good!

Octavia64 · 16/05/2026 22:48

SearchingforSleep · 16/05/2026 22:44

So tough to be a teacher these days. Confused There are some accounts posting anonymous emails from parents which are eye-opening - I hope they are made up tbh…
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVyv0ZzkXtW/?igsh=MW91MWU4c2dyOGduYg==

lol they are definitely not made up

VoiceFromThePit · 16/05/2026 22:48

Teachers do make mistakes and shit happens in life you just have to see them as things to learn from.

I remember getting detention and lines after school and during lunchtimes for something I hadn’t done over 40 years ago whilst at primary - I think it taught me that the world is full of arseholes and idiots; that people have to earn my respect or trust, nobody gets it just because of their job title or uniform.

PunkTiger · 16/05/2026 22:50

Well he's learned that if he misbehaves there may be unexpected consequences and that punishments are not always 'fair'. Also, if he hadn't been talking in this teacher's class she wouldn't have had a chance to sanction him supposedly against procedure. If he doesn't talk in her class again, she won't snap because she's reached the end of her patience with the kids 'petty' misbehaviour.

It's a short detention he hasn't been excluded from school. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

ChickenBananaBanana · 16/05/2026 22:51

You're an embarrassment. Get a grip and a life whilst you're at it. Kids talk in class, kids lie.

Happyjoe · 16/05/2026 22:54

You'll not get anywhere with the school. If you believe your son 100%, tell him so but explain sometimes life is unfair.

Laura95167 · 16/05/2026 22:54

im unclear on this - but say his version is right and it was straight to C2. So what? Why cant a teacher decide its a C2 infarction regardless of a C1?

BitterTits · 16/05/2026 22:54

Look, if your kid was talking too much, chances are he wouldn't have heard the warnings anyway. Frankly though, if he can't shut up in class I think you've got a cheek to expect the teacher to follow the letter of the behaviour policy. Tell him to be quiet and listen - and if he can't do that, be prepared to accept the detention.

OneFunBrickNewt · 16/05/2026 22:56

I'd be absolutely furious if I were you- with your own child for disrupting the class and needing not one but two warnings to shut the fuck up. As a teacher it never ceases to amaze me how often parents think they know how their children behaves at school, and also that their child never lies.

absolutebollocks · 16/05/2026 22:56

Oh wow. He is 12 so you have a few more years of knobheadery to go. Don’t teach him he might get his own way if he stamps his feet!

SarahAndQuack · 16/05/2026 22:57

In life, your child will (like everyone else) sometimes be involved in situations where his account doesn't tally with someone else's. And sometimes that someone else will be someone in a position of authority.

It is a terrible life lesson to tell him you know he's not lying, because you don't. You could tell him you think he's generally truthful and you honestly can't judge what happened, but you shouldn't tell him you know for sure.

purpleheartsandroses · 16/05/2026 22:57

Jesus fucking Christ. He's admitted talking and you're being an arsehole just because her first 2 warnings didn't say the code C1 and deduct house points? Teachers are multitasking to the limit during lessons, they can easily forget to record a point on the system whilst simultaneously doing 20 other tasks.

SearchingforSleep · 16/05/2026 22:57

Octavia64 · 16/05/2026 22:48

lol they are definitely not made up

I don’t really doubt they are real - I’m just pretty horrified that dealing with these kind of emails is part of the life of a teacher. 🙁

Springsummertime · 16/05/2026 22:58

Get a GRIP!!!

Rosecoffeecup · 16/05/2026 22:58

Move on with your life

CoffeeAndCats3 · 16/05/2026 22:58

Let it go.
Being a teacher is a very difficult job. He was talking in class. Even if she didn't follow procedure to the letter...the last thing she needs is yet another parent making her life difficult.
This is a good time to teach your child that sometimes life isn't perfect and things don't go your way. Accept it, and move on. Turn it into a life lesson. And tell him to stop talking so much in class and have respect for the teacher.

SandyY2K · 16/05/2026 22:58

Let it go.
She probably did lose her temper, and acted hastily, but she's not going to admit it.

WearyAuldWumman · 16/05/2026 22:59

When I was a HoD, we'd get kids arguing that they'd not had their warning and final warning before being given a sanction.

It would turn out that the little darlings didn't recognise that "Be quiet!" or "Johnny*!" was their first warning.

*Other forenames are available.

AllBranGirl · 16/05/2026 23:01

Tell her to provide you proof. If she can’t she can fuck off!

Fullofpudding · 16/05/2026 23:02

This type of situation is exactly why I left teaching last year! Having to spend all my
time answering emails from parents
about detentions!! Your child was probably talking so much he didn’t hear the first warning!!

SouthernNights59 · 16/05/2026 23:04

JMSA · 16/05/2026 22:25

You’re embarrassing yourself.
Let it go.

This! What a fuss and drama over nothing.