Sure teacher is lying, but can't prove it

[Chew33]

My 12 year old son received a detention (c2) for talking in class. He is usually as good as gold and gets great feedback, so this was very unusual. He said he got this with no verbal warning or c1, which is the procedure they're supposed to follow. He said she shouted c2 whilst pointing at him from across the room.
I challenged the procedure not being followed. The teacher emailed me in response with a completely different version of events. She said he'd had several warnings, then. C1 from her, then a c2 from the librarian! My son has admitted he was talking too much, but is adamant her version was no where near the truth. He even checked with one of the kids after the fact, who agreed.
I know when my kid lies. He goes bright red and its so obvious atm. I know he's telling the truth, and I'm disgusted how he's been treated. I think she just lost her temper and knows she did wrong. The detention itself was very short and never recorded in the system. He said she just said as this is your first strike and you're usually so good let's let this one go.

So I emailed back expressing i understood his talking was unacceptable, however I was very concerned about the difference in recalling events. She's doubled down and said her report is accurate.

Do I let this one go, or not? My gut is telling me she's definitely lying, but I don't know what to do or its worth pursuing further.

Maybe he was talking so much he didn't hear the initial warning 😏

Sarcasm?

Your son should not be talking in class. Stop trying to excuse him.

Two people can have two different accounts of the same incident and neither be lying, that’s being human. The teacher has seen loads of kids and is busy so her recall is what it is
You’re doing nobody involved any favours by stressing this point

If I had a pound for every parent who has told me their child would never lie, I'd be...you know the rest. Children lie and deflect blame. Yes, maybe teachers make mistakes sometimes, but they don't 'pick on' a child for no reason. They've got better things to do. Don't challenge it - parents like you are becoming all too common and it's such a waste of time and energy. Accept it, you weren't there and he'll get over it.

Also, in the school.i am.in (OK I guess their system is different) but whilst we absolutely use a progressive consequence system staff can ALWAYS award a detention consequence without using C1, C2. If the behaviour warrants ir. Or would you honestly expect C1 if a student made a direct verbal.or.physical.asault or threw something across the room? Persistent disruption is hugely disrespectful to teachers and to other learners that are making the effort.

The biggest favour you can do for your child is to make sure he does the detention, and that he learns the lesson . He was talking , and disrupted the lesson multiple times.

It sounds like the system only calls for a detention after the third disruption. There can be 36 pupils in a high school class- nobody wants over a hundred disruptions in an hour long lesson. The point is that it’s supposed to be a deterrent.

Your post sums up everything that is wrong with modern day parenting.

😂😂😂😂
I hope youre feeling chilly because you're gonna get ROASTED!!!!

It's no big deal. It sounds like the detention was short and took into account his prior good behaviour. It will make him think twice about talking in class and disrupting others who are trying to learn.

In terms of whether or not steps were followed, he may very well have missed the first warnings as he was talking and not paying attention.

@Chew33 I get why you want to defend your son but in the long run it would be better for him to learn that if he messes up and goes against the rules there are consequences. I think the teacher was so fed up she went immediately to c2. So he got a detention. You can argue that's not fair but it's also not fair disrupting the class by talking. Don't be that parent.
Sidenote : are you and your son autistic OP? That would explain the strong reaction to the exact procedure not being followed - but you really need to let this one go.

Yep, you’re that parent 🤦🏻‍♀️

So according to the teacher he had a C1 and a C2 but neither is recorded on the system? Then you know the teacher has messed up from her own words not matching the records.

Just out of pure detective interest, was the lesson in fact in the library? Where does the librarian come into it all?

You might want to leave it be from there though, it's nice to have a clean record. If you take it further that might get corrected.

Keep this up and she will follow procedure including a permanent record of the C2.

So let's get this straight:

• Your son talked in class when he should not have
• The teacher gave him a C1 then a C2 – or maybe she gave him a C2 without the C1
• He did the detention – it was short and the teacher said his general good behaviour was the reason; she also did not record it

• You emailed to complaine that the teacher had not followed the correct C1 - C2 procedure about the detention (not clear if this was before it happened)
• The teacher emailed back saying she had
• You were not happy so emailed again about procedure
• The teacher emailed back again saying procedure was followed

Also: you son is not lying bc you know when he does; his classmates back him up.

@Chew33 honestly you need to let this go. It is so so minor. Maybe the teacher did not follow procedure. Maybe your DS was the 10th person to disrupt her lesson that day and she had had enough. Maybe she did follow procedure and your son is lying, I really don't think it matters. Just remind him to behave then this won't happen again. Please don't get into an email back and forth with a teacher on this kind of issue.

Talking in class is hugely disturbing and good they are strict about it and trying to nip him in the bud.

Agree.

You know, there was a time when kids came home from school and said they’d got detention.

Parents asked what they’d done. The kid admitted they’d been talking too much or messing about. Parent said, “Well don’t do it again then.”

To now say, “Well yes, you misbehaved, but your teacher didn’t follow the procedure properly so you shouldn’t have to do the detention,” is ridiculous.

At some point, you stopped parenting and started acting as your kid's union rep.

That's not your job.

It’s a simple detention and there’s no need for wasting time with all of this drama and formal complaining. Getting this picky over whether or not a verbal warning was given wouldn’t be my concern. He was disrupting a lesson by talking and you’re more focused on whether a teacher followed a rigid procedure for disciplining him than on the talking.

Agreed

This really is not worth getting annoyed about. Teachers have Such a hard job with that age group. Just let it drop. It really is not a big deal.

Get a grip OP.

So many teachers post on MN and will always criticise the child, rightly or wrongly.
OP If the teacher did not follow the protocol around detention. contact the year head about it and write a letter and request that it is put on the child's file.
The teacher will not admit to lying and the child will not admit to lying.
But the child has a right to have his side of the incident noted.
In the meantime, the child will have to do the detention but it will also put the spotlight on the teacher should similar incidents occur in the future with the same teacher.

I know when my kid lies

Heh. We all think that until we learn better.

So next time just start your post with ‘I’m one of those parents’.

I cannot believe you emailed the school more than once and want to take this further/. Get a serious grip - your son has no hope for an Independant future with this kind of helicopter parenting.