The Sixty-Sixth Republic - Who will be the medal winners on Results Day? Grade inflation predicted again

[Staffholidayclubrep]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement for school staff to let off steam.

Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

Do not give the staffroom password to non-staff as it attracts the wrong sort of crowd.

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

Really quite cold here in the E Mids

Not cold as such but drizzly for the first time in weeks and weeks.

It can't decide what it is here: we've had grey, sun, drizzle and gusts.

It's quite chilly up here too. Jeans and jumpers weather rather than the floaty summer dresses I have been wearing.

first day back completed!

How did it go mistress? Was this the first day with the kids or was it an inset day?

Inset. So will only get worse! (Sobs)

Wow, MistressIggi, can't believe you're back already. It's such a long time to the next half term too .

I've got a quick q - well, not really a q, just something that's been playing on my mind.

Dh changed jobs last year - new job requires me to accompany him on some social/networking events. I did one last year which was a Friday evening - I had a light Friday afternoon which my colleagues were happy to cover (my department are v supportive). He declined one last year which would have required several days off and he's declined one in September which would require me to take a Monday off. But... he's mentioned that he can't decline them all and it's not really the done thing for wives (it's nearly always wives) not to accompany.

I'm aware this makes me sound a bit like a 50s housewife and I'm sure school/dept wouldn't mind the odd one (generally if the dept can cover it, school is ok and I'm perfectly happy to return the favour). I guess I just feel a bit uncomfortable with it and there's a bit of a nagging feeling that my job and these requirements of his job might end up incompatible at some stage.

Wtf Brie, it’s not your job, why the fuck should they get to dictate your time?

If it’s the ‘done thing’ that wives (I bet husbands don’t?) attend then it’s about time they were challenged on that.

What the hell Brie. It sounds like the company ethos is out of step with 2021 if there's there's expectation that women either don't work or must only have little pocket money jobs that can be dropped to support their husband socialising .

Today has been school uniform shopping day

Thought we were all good bar ironing the shirts that I’d put away from DS for DD but then got DS to check his school trousers still fit, they were fine at the end of term, I was thinking he’d make half term at least. He must have grown an inch and a half in three weeks 😭😭😭 New trousers will be collected on Wednesday!

WTF Brie. That's a ridiculous expectation. It wouldn't be allowed friendly cover or not where I am and my place is pretty reasonable for cover etc.

It doesn't sit comfortably with me, I'll be honest about that - and I seem to be the only wife who is tied to restrictive working hours at that level of seniority! Dh knows how I feel and hasn't ever argued or pushed back when I've said I won't be able to make am event. But at the same time, I don't want him to be "embarrassed" (that's not the right word but I hope you know what I mean). I might encourage him to make it a thing to do these things unaccompanied - set an example and all that.

That sounds like a good idea - he can talk about how important you are and isn't education so vital, etc, who would dare deny this? Alternatively, I don't work Fridays and would be happy to step in if their is decent nosh on offer

Forget him being embarrassed, tell him to man-up and explain to the dinosaurs that some women have their own jobs. Better that he goes alone than not at all, because those are the only two options on the table.

My school would have solved the problem anyway by saying no way can you have the time off.

Embarrassed? He should be proud!

I get the feeling that you would also rather not attend these events - they sound dire.

@Mistressiggi

That sounds like a good idea - he can talk about how important you are and isn't education so vital, etc, who would dare deny this? Alternatively, I don't work Fridays and would be happy to step in if their is decent nosh on offer

. The food was OK at the last one (just realised it was pre-covid, time flies!). I had to wear heels though, which I'm no good at. Took a pair of sandals in my bag, then another lady asked if she could borrow them as she and her husband had flown down and her feet had swollen up! I said she could use them, but through gritted teeth 😬).

He's a good bloke so I don't want you to get the wrong idea about him. Has always been completely supportive. It's industry so yes, lots of men in senior positions. Maybe he'll need to be the trailblazer.

He's not embarrassed by me, by the way!

@noblegiraffe

I get the feeling that you would also rather not attend these events - they sound dire.

I'm not keen on making small talk with strangers, however nice they are (and they were all lovely). But I've always hated networking dinners, since I entered the world of work. Not a fan of the office Christmas party either, barrel of laughs that I am...

Oh, I wasn't forced to wear heels by the way, just the dress looked better with them! Ugh, tying myself up in knots trying to explain myself here!

Bloody hell Brie - I can’t believe jobs like that exist (probably because DH and I have been teachers since Uni)! I am a out and proud feminist and I would just come and say ‘f it and f your bosses’ but I’m aware I also married a feminist and am in a privileged position saying that (to my values, not so much our financial position!).

My boss would definitely say no, probably even if I was free! Maybe if it was for football...

I don't think anyone's judging your DH brie. Some workplaces are like that and it's horrible that a decent man might feel awkward because his wife has a successful career in her own right that can't be dropped for his company's socials.

The idea of making a point about how his wife can't attend as she has her own career, so maybe it would be good to have events sans-spouses is a good one.

@DreamingofBrie, "He's not embarrassed by me, by the way!"

No, of course not! I didn't mean that. I meant that he shouldn't be embarrassed if you can't attend because you are an independent working woman with a career, but proud that that is the case.

Hope your first week back goes well @Mistressiggi I always find INSET day the most tiring day of the first week back. I think it's just the mental energy required and having to actually get up early and look civilised!

@CarrieBlue what a good job you checked my DS grows like a weed so I generally wait until half way through the hols.

@DreamingofBrie it sounds like your DHs work has unrealistic expectations! Surely all wives cannot accompany their spouse to all events? That's absurd! My SiL is an army wife and doesn't work (due to kids and the fact that they move relatively frequently, plus my brother can be called away with little notice) but she doesn't accompany him to all functions!

It's nice that your school/department are supportive but if I am totally honest, as an assistant head of faculty, I wouldn't be happy with someone regularly taking time to attend their partner's work functions. I promise I am not a total dragon and would help any of my team in emergencies or as a one off but it would simply be too disruptive to the team and pupils if it was a regular occurrence.

I think you and DH need to come to an agreement-you will join him on evening/weekends and holiday functions (if you are happy to) but not the ones when you are working.

I'm intrigued as to what his job is?