Kids who annoy you

[roseandviolets]

Yawning Kid.

Yawning Kid gives a huge, loud roaring noise as he yawns. (This species is usually male.) You have to stop speaking to allow Yawning Kid to finish his yawn. You suggest nicely to Yawning Kid that he yawns quietly, and covers his mouth in future. Yawning Kid looks around in absolute disbelief st his friends. "I was only YAWNING," mutters Yawning Kid. "Oh my GOD. Can't even YAWN in 'ere any more ..."

Fuck off, Yawning Kid.

Sensitive Susie.

"Right everyone! Books out, please!"
"Ohhhh," whispers Susie. "Don't SHOUT."

(Sensitive susie has no SEN. Sensitive susie manages to listen without screwing her face up during the deputy heads rants about the inappropriate graffiti in the boys' toilets. Sensitive susie can screech like a banshee. She's just being a pain.) Sensitive Susie is usually female.

Thespian Theo.

Theo knocks his leg against a desk or a chair, or is elbowed by accident by another kid. Thespian Theo yelps loudly and ostentatiously, shrieking and holding the offending body part in "agony." Thespian Theo will often ask for a wet paper towel or claim he cannot possibly write (even if the affected area is thespian Theo's testicles.) Theo is usually male.

Beautiful Beth

Beth is a lovely looking girl. Or, she was in Y7. Now she is in Y9 and is orange and black. She looks at her own face most of the time, either through a mirror or a phone. She brushes her hair constantly. She wears so much Victoria secret perfume that should missing, an average hound could probably track her down within sixty seconds. When you ask Beth to stop putting on her makeup, you get a vague 'huh? Oh ... In a minute!' Beautiful Beth is female. But occasionally her counterpart, Handsome Hugh, will have an elaborate hairstyle.

Touchy Tina

Tina gets a bottle of Pepsi out. You gently remind her fizzy drinks aren't allowed in school. 'Oh my GAWWWWD!' thunders Tina. "This school is per-feck-TICK!"
A group of girls are talking and you say their names - 'Girls? Anna, Tina, Jessica?'
'Oh my god, just pick on ME all the time doncha? Oh my GOD and it wasn't even me TALKIN. Everyone else is talkin' -' (Tina gesticulated to the now silent classroom) 'but yer just pick on ME!'

(This is light hearted and one day I will write about amazing annabel, wonderful William, hilarious Harry, beautiful (inside as well as out) Beatrice.)

But share yours: I need a larf!

Yep that’s it completely ....my son is loveable and his teachers tell me he is well behaved in class. He IS a dramatist though and I can fully appreciate that at times he might be annoying. Thankfully his teachers and the school staff have a pretty good understanding of him and are able to nip it in the bud if things get too silly.

Orange Olivia or FakeTanned Frieda - almost mahogany coloured and hands bright orange. Carries tiny handbag it the crook of her arm with books rolled up inside. Chews pen constantly and wears huge gold hoop earrings and copious amounts of gold chains.

@Milngavieghirl if you’re head of education at a national charity for children with neurodevelopmental disorders then you’d better be careful what you post on here as that’s fairly identifying and I don’t think your posts would be in the spirit of such an organisation any the info you’ve given is fairly identifying. You don’t want to be on the business end of a P45 for calling somebody simple eh?

milngavieghirl: you’d better be careful what you post on here as that’s fairly identifying and I don’t think your posts would be in the spirit of such an organisation any the info you’ve given is fairly identifying. You don’t want to be on the business end of a P45 for calling somebody simple eh?

Good point. It is amazing what trouble people can get into if they use social media without thinking about the consequences. Especially in education.

@Iris65 it happened to a friend of mine up in Scotland who was a teacher. Note the use of the past tense.

As I tell the kids, once something’s out there on the Internet, you have to presume the whole world will see it.

And even the username @Milngavieghirl tells me two things. Easy to identify the person if you’re in charge of such an organisation, too. I’ve screenshot(ted?) the posts in question, just in case.

The overweight kid who eats pizza and chicken nuggets for breakfast. Then spends the entire day farting and being generally unpleasant. He left the toilet door open the other day after he had "been". I literally threw up. He had no idea of what he had produced.

Oh come on I didn't agree with her posts either but less of the witch hunt please! The staff room needs to be a supportive space without threats of people being reported to employers.

@Mistressiggi nobody’s threatening to report her - no need for drama. Employers monitor social media use doncha know? And the info she’s given is fairly identifying...if true.

nobody’s threatening to report her - no need for drama. Employers monitor social media use doncha know? And the info she’s given is fairly identifying...if true.

People are very naive when it comes to the internet and employment. There are companies out there that will screen candidates' and employees' online histories for employers.

Orange Olivia or FakeTanned Frieda - almost mahogany coloured and hands bright orange. Carries tiny handbag Mine all carried enormous handbags that were more like weekend bags. Guess the fashion has changed.

It's fine , I was the one called Simple and took it in reasonably good humour, although I don't believe it was offered in that way.

I have not reported. Am OK! Mainly because I know I am far from simple and have moral high ground