Kids who annoy you

[roseandviolets]

Yawning Kid.

Yawning Kid gives a huge, loud roaring noise as he yawns. (This species is usually male.) You have to stop speaking to allow Yawning Kid to finish his yawn. You suggest nicely to Yawning Kid that he yawns quietly, and covers his mouth in future. Yawning Kid looks around in absolute disbelief st his friends. "I was only YAWNING," mutters Yawning Kid. "Oh my GOD. Can't even YAWN in 'ere any more ..."

Fuck off, Yawning Kid.

Sensitive Susie.

"Right everyone! Books out, please!"
"Ohhhh," whispers Susie. "Don't SHOUT."

(Sensitive susie has no SEN. Sensitive susie manages to listen without screwing her face up during the deputy heads rants about the inappropriate graffiti in the boys' toilets. Sensitive susie can screech like a banshee. She's just being a pain.) Sensitive Susie is usually female.

Thespian Theo.

Theo knocks his leg against a desk or a chair, or is elbowed by accident by another kid. Thespian Theo yelps loudly and ostentatiously, shrieking and holding the offending body part in "agony." Thespian Theo will often ask for a wet paper towel or claim he cannot possibly write (even if the affected area is thespian Theo's testicles.) Theo is usually male.

Beautiful Beth

Beth is a lovely looking girl. Or, she was in Y7. Now she is in Y9 and is orange and black. She looks at her own face most of the time, either through a mirror or a phone. She brushes her hair constantly. She wears so much Victoria secret perfume that should missing, an average hound could probably track her down within sixty seconds. When you ask Beth to stop putting on her makeup, you get a vague 'huh? Oh ... In a minute!' Beautiful Beth is female. But occasionally her counterpart, Handsome Hugh, will have an elaborate hairstyle.

Touchy Tina

Tina gets a bottle of Pepsi out. You gently remind her fizzy drinks aren't allowed in school. 'Oh my GAWWWWD!' thunders Tina. "This school is per-feck-TICK!"
A group of girls are talking and you say their names - 'Girls? Anna, Tina, Jessica?'
'Oh my god, just pick on ME all the time doncha? Oh my GOD and it wasn't even me TALKIN. Everyone else is talkin' -' (Tina gesticulated to the now silent classroom) 'but yer just pick on ME!'

(This is light hearted and one day I will write about amazing annabel, wonderful William, hilarious Harry, beautiful (inside as well as out) Beatrice.)

But share yours: I need a larf!

Well said noble

Toddler Tim...
'Put your water bottle away, Tim'
'Put your slime away, Tim'
'Put your stretchy, gungey filthy chew toy away, Tim'

Mr Wolf
Can't tell the time...
'When's it dinner Miss?
'When's it hometime Miss?'
When's it the end of this lesson Miss?'

iPhone Ian, who has one hand surgically attached to his mobile at all times and moans i was only checking the tiiiimmme or evvveryone else is on theirs when challenged.

Wonder how much you would enjoy your pupils making fun of you?
I have no doubt students will moan abiut teachers.
I've already had students joke with me in a revision session about how meticulously I expect school policy and procedure to be followed (ours are reasonable). Apparently yhe burning question was do you ACTUALLY agree with them all or do you just love rules lile a saddo I was honest, i can take or leave some of them but thems the rulez.

What a shame a lighthearted thread as turned into 'omgz any child who isn't perfect probably has some undiagnosed SEND need and you're all disablist'.

I have a collection of Telltale Tinas who'll come and tell me every time another kid has made fun of me!

Maisy- if that is how you have read my comments then you have no place being a teacher as you have misrepresented me and have serious comprehension issues.

I'm not a teacher but I remember many of these kids from when I was at school 😂.

Leave Maisypops alone.

You actually used the most unpleasant , judgemental and unacceptable term on the whole thread when you attempted to call me simple.

I may be wrong but I don't think any teacher on this thread has used such an unfortunately inadvisable word.

Sorry, mistress obviously not directed to you.

I want to know who ‘Wasn’t me’ is.
He seems to have broken or lost everything.

‘Who has broken this/messed all this up/pooed in the corner?’
‘Wasn’t me’ say 25 voices.

Lighten up, it’s a silly thread.

You could do an office one in the same light

I made a mistake in front of my students today. When they'd stopped laughing .....

I have a mutual respect with my students. They make mistakes - I make mistakes.
They annoy me - I annoy them.

We accept we aren't all perfect but I have a job to do and they have responsibilities.

I manage all that despite them having severe learning difficulties. Because we don't let their difficulties define them or their personalities be shadowed by their disabilities - the good and annoying bits!

Mistressiggi Thanks. People have just come on here to stir the pot so to speak.

Ummmmgogo Glad you, like most posters, see the funny side.
I can see former classmates in them and my childhood self in them.

I was a Highlighter Hannah - student who has an exceptionally neat book but doesn't understand that when the teacher says highlight the key points it means the KEY points. Highlighter Hannahs missed this message and their book looks like a unicorn has shit a rainbow on every page.

Humourless Helena .

I've got parents evening next week and all I'm going to think now is "I wonder if you have given my 5yr old a nickname"

@mistressiggi impeccable timing!

I've got parents evening next week and all I'm going to think now is "I wonder if you have given my 5yr old a nickname"
You see the silly part of me wants you to describe your DC and then see if we can guess what his funny nickname might be (but the fun police might come aroubd and tell us off )

Haha well his name gets torn to shreds in the Baby name section thankfully he's the total opposite of what MN says boys with his name act like .

Kyle? Liam? Luke? Devon?? Kai????

Am I close???

Mwahahaha!

Excellent.....you have nailed DS totally with Thespian Theo

I always refer to him as a “drama llama” .....he gets cross if I say “drama queen”.

He’s at a Special school now (he has ASD) but I know his class teachers at mainstream juniors used to look on with raised eyes sometimes.

Another type of colleague: Sanctimonious Sandra: can be relied on to interrupt any vent or joke by pointing out how many children have SEN and how unprofessional other staff are.

Po-faced-Polly does not understand the need for staff to use humour to deal with stressful situations and is best friends with Sanctimonious Sandra.
Most often found sitting primly on their high horse and polishing their awards for most time spent criticising other staff.

Thespian Theo is in my class.
He is a lovable character who charms the pants off anyone he meets. I've told his mum I fully expect to be buying tickets to a show he's staring in once he leave us.

It's also annoying when you're trying to heard a class load of children to the playground or assembly and he's adding drama to the proceedings.

It's a school for children with sld and pmld. These personalities aren't unique to the non disabled nor are they necessarily unique to their disability. They are personalities attached to people which you can love and also find annoying in equal measure!