Hellish day, just need to vent, no-one to talk to IRL

[fatcheeks1]

Hi, feel this would be a safe place to get some perspective on this.

I am on supply in a local Primary school.It's a failing school.Up until today I was working with small groups providing much needed support (interventions) in speech and language/fine motor skills and number.I work in reception/nursery.I was also covering phase leader's class and NQT's class in reception .It was all going well, until I took over one of the classes belonging to a reception teacher today.She went off sick early, I was due to cover for her in a couple of weeks as she had time booked for an operation/recovery.These 2 weeks were meant to be transitional where she discussed the class with me/their needs, where she was with assessments, what they had covered in phonics etc.I couldn't find any planning, I couldn't find their writing books I couldn't find anything.I didn't know where they were with phonics(all 3 classes are at different stages) so I made do, I didn't have a plan as such I tried to do an assessment type thing on their writing and knowledge of writing simple vc and cvc words, then making up and model writing a sentence.
The head came down and was there for it all, I wanted to cry.They couldn't find their books so I gave them whiteboards, they weren't following instructions, they weren't even trying really.She was busy scribbling away.I couldn't find any resources(the class is a mess) I couldn't find what they had done before.I must have looked so ill prepared, I was but it wasn't from lack of trying.I came in early to look for things and next thing, they were coming in and she was there, looming large as life.I was crap, I know I was crap, I need to speak to her but am sooooo embarrased I don't know what to say.No new learning took place other than perhaps modelling a sentence and talking about capital letters etc but they should know all of that.I know the class, well their names but I don't know their needs.
It was awful , truly awful, the behaviour was o.k, they are just fussy, they were just. . . passive:>(
I didn't talk to them about what they could do and why as I was panicing.I should have been more prepared. . what's the saying. . ."fail to prepare. . . " I knew Friday I was taking the class but was so busy taking another class that by the time I had finished clearing up etc it was way past my time to go(I have family) I just thought there would be stuff in the classroom for me, or some plans on file but there wasn't.

I am sitting here feeling wretched, I don't want to go in tomorrow but I know I have to.I also know I need to speak to her but I don't know where to begin. . .any advice? I have brought home 2 large bags of paper crap from the class to try and sort out tonight.That's without my planning for tomorrow :>(

Sorry this is so long, DH doesn't understand, no-one does, I just feel overwhelmed.

Sorry to hear your having a bad time of it, sounds like your doing a great job. Ive got loads of planning both for nursery and Reception. Been teaching FS for years. Happy to help if you need anything.

Aaah thank you twinkle that's very kind:>).I'm o.k with planning, I have loads of ideas it just takes me a while to get it all down and sometimes i forget what I should be doing as I go with the kids interests or feel they need something else but I DO annotate my plans unlike the other teacher!

Been following your thread and think you are doing a wonderful job in dreadful conditions. I teach Reception too so anything you need, I am happy to help :)

thank you peguinbear:>)

Do you have any friends who could come into school and help you with sorting resources/labelling stuff.backing walls/getting displays up (cutting, laminating etc) When I was expecting OFSTED a few years ago some of my teacher friends came in and it was such a relief not to have to worry about those things

I am going in at Half Term.I have a son who is 11 , he is very good:>).
It's very time consuming isn't it?Most of my walls are backed now and the class is looking a lot lighter and fresher which is good.I am working really hard to get some of the kids work up.My LSA's are working really hard as it is.I will have the class looking a lot nicer for the parents evening Thursday anyway.

If you're near to me, am happy to come and help in your classroom over half term if you want another helping hand :)

Aaawwww, thats kind of you PB:>) I have my son, one of the other reception teachers and someone who I worked with last year who I have kept in touch with:>) O'h and another teacher who left at the same time as me she can be on standby if needed.I don't really want to be there too much if I'm honest, so I need to be super organised this week planning what I need done e.g printing/laminating as I guess that won't be available when we go in.I have my areas clearly marked now I just need to sort out some newer , better stuff to go into them and some nicely marked up boxes etc for stuff to go in.It's all very bitty.
The more I think about it, the more I feel chuffed like I am really achieving/have achieved something.I feel confident enough now to set targets on the children.The exiting teacher just gave them a PSED one.That's not enough, they need one in literacy and maths too.
The LSA I have in the afternoon for 90 mins, she likes doing displays, so she can crack on with those.I could also get her to take indiv photo's of the children and print those out for their targets.I need to do an "I can. . . . " type display of the children being able to do various things, like line up "super straight" ready for assembly, talk with a partner on the carpet (they are finding this hard)working together to make models, sharing the computer that kinda thing.The S.T recommended photo displays that the children can interact with.
I am happy with what I want to put in my maths area, I am going to have an interactive weighing display trying to get them to use the comparitive language of heavy, heavier and heaviest etc.We have explored this quite a bit I just need to refine it a little:>) I am going to be out of the class for about 2 days next week as I have been given a day to do the L.Js (hooray) I need to highlight the curriculum areas.All the stuff I am putting in that I haven't done I am not going to fuss over, that's hers.All my stuff, obviously that's different.I think the Head realises how much I have been doing as she is being kinder to me, plus I am not a "yes" type person, I will speak out and have.I think I've been quite vocal:>).
I also have PPA time and extra PPA time to visit that chuffing outstanding school.That should be good.I am beginning to feel really protective of the children, I have told the Deputy the people I would prefer in the class to cover me but if I want them to keep to the plan as the class is behind (and they know this)they need someone strong, plus I'm spending hours planning.The deputy was like "okaaayyy" and smiled to herself(she likes me:>) )
I am thinking as we have our trip next week (Friday, c,monnnn, what rubbish planning for follow up work :>( ) and the parents evening and I'm out of the class, I'm thinking do a big class reveal after the hols and teach them how to use the areas and we can have proper monitors as they will know where stuff should go etc, what do you all think?

I know nothing about teaching but it sounds well thought out and you've covered your back - the deputy & HT cannot argue with the evidence of what you are doing and have achieved.

I know you are incrdibly busy but please write down with evidence of what you have achieved with this class - how fantastic will that look on your CV when you decide to move on

Thanks RM, I haven't but I will.I have a very real problem with organisation, it has hindered me all of my adult working life.I may have ADD, I'm not one for labels but a lot of stuff is 'me' sadly.I make lists than lose them.I am told stuff, than forget.I am not an auditory learner, I think I need to see things.I write down things that I am told than lose it.I really struggle to prioritise but I think I have now found a system that could work for me and having 2 people who rely on me for telling them what to do helps plus the afternoon LSA is very gung ho and lets do this which is helping me no end.
I am feeling more positive about stuff than I have before.
I have always been confident in my ability to teach.This school has been good for me believe it or not.It has taught , is teaching me so much.I am really learning a lot about myself.I am finding a voice I didn't think I had, I am finding I have leadership qualities.I am getting so much better at delegating and listening to people.I am not afraid now to ask for help, it is a strength not a weakness, it isn't about me, it's about them, those 28 little people I have full responsibility for between 8.55-3.10. It's about being more responsible for your own CPD.At my last school it was non-existent, here it seems good (well, they are doing stuff :>) ) It's about spending time with your colleagues, they are such a nice, mixed bunch from all walks of life, so interesting.

Wow that is good. Acknowledging your weaknesses and putting in place strategies to manage them is fantastic - another thing that is great in interviews

I'm not an auditory person much much prefer things written down. Have you ever looked at APD - auditory processing dysfunction??? Do a bit of research, if you think that could be it there is actually a "cure" - Johansen Therapy, by listening to special custome built music cds (sound like classical stuff) in stereo your brain part of hearing actually learns to start decoding things better. It is truly amazing stuff.

Hi fatcheeks, I am not a teacher, but work in a role where I have to be super organised and have multiple, conflicting, and ever changing deadlines. I am not a naturally organised person, and I am very forgetful. The one thing I have learnt is to always keep a notebook with me - particularly in meetings. Then I can't loose that memory stuff, instructions, To Do lists, etc, that I have written down.

Thanks RM, and MRC, I do have a notebook and a diary and I am not taking the pee, I really am not but I can't find either.Where they should be they aren't (blushes) but I will look today, they are probably within a pile.I really cannot concentrate for very long, I hate to say it but I get bored very easily and my mind just wanders.The only thing I can stay really focused on is birds and anything to do with Nature and being out in it.I am v.v. jealous of all those Nature reporting ladies on the T.V like Kate and Michaella!
I am in the wrong job I know it:>)
Deadlines bring me out in the coldest of sweats as do those words "where is your data/planning for . . . "
I am learning to do it as soon as I get it.A case in point, I am finding it very difficult to sort out the time slots for the parents evening.I do think I have something wrong with me that I can't see/do things that others do relatively easily.I am also really bad at maths, I'm ok at this level but only just scraped through with enough to do my P.G.C.E, top juniors I could not teach:>(.My kids are whizzes at maths tho, they don't get that from me!

Have a particular place at home and in the classroom where your important things live. Get a large brighly coloured notebook and diary so they are harder to lose.

It does take practice to develop the habit of using the "particular" place but it does work.

That sounds like a good plan, thanks x

Yes yes, I second having a particular place and getting a very smart and pretty notebook - one that you adore and love to use.

Actually, I have two notebooks - one stays on my desk, this has three columns (drawn with a ruler in a pretty colour - neat and appealing to the eye, which makes me want to use it) this notebook is my deadlines list:
Date handed to me | brief description and who it's from | Due date

The second notebook is larger, this contains notes from meetings, those little details that people tell me in passing, detailed instructions, little things that pop into my head that I need to remember, this notebook is not neat (inside), but I do start a new page for a new 'thing', so I can easily find the topic/information that I am looking for.

I too struggle with dates, and times - I would seriously struggle to fit a sequence of times together to make one long sequential line, and struggle with maths. I am both dyslexic and dyscalculic (I don't know how that is spelt) it makes things like planning difficult, but it gets better with practice :-) the main thing is not to be afraid of it, view each task as a learning challenge, each time you know a little more about yourself and how to become more efficient.

For instance, for the parents evening get an A3 pice of paper, draw a line, break it down into time slots. Get some 2p coins with child initials (blue tac and scrap paper). Then jiggle the coins around until everything fits, or as close as. It's not the 'traditional' method, but if it gets the job done without panic and stress who cares?

I have my own hook for my car keys as dh was so fed up of my misplacing them

At work my desk is pretty orgnaised in terms of a place for everything, saves time when looking for the highlighers/calculator/notebook etc.

I have a sheet with allocated times(10 min slots) and the parents say what sort of time they want to come in.The hassle is with siblings in the school.Some of my kids have 2 sometimes 3 siblings and it's been a bit of a headache trying to get them times near to their siblings slot.

I really like the idea of the books ladies and having a designated space just for me and my things.At my other school I had my own desk, here I don't but I'm sure I can find something.I really like my colleagues desk, she has everything in an allocated place so if you borrow, say her hole puncher she knows it's gone as its not in its place and I know to return it, I'm a bit tardy for getting things back to people.It isn't intentional I just forget.

Not been in long from parents evening.I was bricking in, so worried but I think it went ok.The parents seemed quite responsive.I had a few not turn up/were late.I was the last of my lot to finish LOL:>) I kept saying that the regular teacher was coming back and they seemed pleased about that.I'm pleased about that:>)
Last day tomorrow before the hols.Can't wait, still have lots to do though .

Well done. Well survived. Enjoy half term

Thank you, I intend to:>)

Also managed to negotiate more money from the agency.They are going to pay me 15 a day more.It's not what I originally asked for but better than nothing.

Just an update for everyone who's been interested in this thread.second day back and don't feel like I've been away sadly:>( I never wanted this to happen but as much as I've fought against it, this class have really gotten under my skin and into my heart :>).We had a LA advisor in to observe us these past 2 days, Reception came out ok.I have had reviews, never done one before, one of the translators said it was the best one she had attended, that made me :>)I refused to do the next steps bit as I have only been in the class 20 days so the Senco conceded and we did it together:

Glad you got your miniscule payrise. Wow 28 days - what will you do if they ask you to stay longer...?

Not stay LOL:>) No seriously, I really really like most of the people I am working with, the kids are fab (mostly) the parents are coming around to me but again I can understand that but the scrutiny is just sooooo intense.Every,single day almost, we are being observed or moderated its just too much and I'm trying to be positive and take from it what I can as I am learning from being there but really???I'm 48 on Friday I am far too long in the tooth for all of this hoop jumping shizzle!!!
As teaching parents we have to sacrifice so much to this job.I'm a people person but not IFYSWIM, I do say what I think , I'm not a yes person, I am finding it so hard.I don't really enjoy the job for lots of reasons, it's hard because when one of the kids hug you or they say they missed you or their parents say they talk about you at home and play "teacher" that's when you know you are making an impact.
Bottom line really, I wanted being a parent to define me not being a teacher!My kids miss me I really miss my kids, it's something most of us have to live with.My kids wanted me to jack the job in before the holiday but I have made this commitment and I do want to see it through.

You seem to be suffering because you're a fantastic teacher, remember that!

So summer term you're having off?