Ham pr disasters thread 47! …it’s all so quiet…it’s all so still ….

[jeffgoldblum]

Still interested! , still not bored ( well slightly!) 😁

not bringing Meghan's at £30 a bottle 😅

@jeffgoldblum phew! I was feeling untethered with no place to share my HaM sandwich.

Sooo excited about the As Ever playing cards and DISTRAUGHT M does not ship to the UK.

As PP have said, H on the king card's face, M on the queen's. Are we about to have revealed the reason M has only allowed the backs of the Hamlets to be photographed? We are.

They are going to be the stars of the Jack and Jill cards. Archie will be Jack and Lilibet Jill. Yes! M is elevating to standard 52 card pack to a 56 card pack. The faces of the Hamlets will be on full display for the first time on these two cards, photographed by Mario Testino, the photographer who shot the final portraits of the iconic Diana, Princess of Wales. The new photographs pay tribute to Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, as the momma of the Hamlets, and who was the one and only Princess of Wales' (accept no imitations, especially those whose first name begins with C) muse, inspiration and role model.

A Mason Pearson Pocket Bristle and Nylon Hairbrush engraved on the rear end with the names Prince Archie & Princess Lilibet in the Duchess of Sussex's distinctive calligraphy will be sent as a gift with the authentic compliments of the Duchess of Sussex to the first 50 SussexSquad Groupies As ever devotees to place an advance order for the As ever Deal Or No Deal Monteshitshow Exclusive Fanny Pack.

This display of egocentric narcissism is the final straw for H, Prince of the Realm, from whose eyes the scales at last fall. H reaches out by phone to Diarrhoea, Momma to Meghan, Duchess of Sussex.

H, sobbing: 'Who will rid me of this troublesome wife?'
Diarrhoea, in a Cool Caligitl accent: 'Send the private jet and I'll be on my way.'
H, sniffing: 'Let me speak to my mate Wace.'
Diarrhoea, singing: 'Black is black, I've got my baby back. Ginge is ginge, and all they do is winge.'
Fade to the whisper of turbofan engines

You , me and all of us are tethered by our mutual amusement and disgust of hams behaviour! , never fear! 💋

You said it, didn’t you?

Going to the Tower's fìne by me as long as we can have As ever spread and sprinkles for breakfast, As ever pancakes and sprinkles for lunch, and sage honey with honey comb and sprinkles for supper.

Noooooo! ….advert your eyes….you must not look directly at the juvenile one!!!!! 😱

Hampers coming soon - will be the same old shite in them and a Christmas ham.

Argh.

That’s definitely not Harry! , too attractive 🤷‍♀️

Make up does wonderful things to a complexion.

True ! , it can even turn white to black on occasion.

Every single thing is ‘coming soon’ or ‘pre-order’ - nothing is coming soon IMHO - it’s just data harvesting in the last dying gasps of her foray into retail. If there was any inkling / hope NF and Snow wouldn’t have pulled the plug.

Cards and matchsticks....such low value items - how can they possibly make a profit?!
And the advent calendar is ridiculously overpriced, yet looks cheap.

Playing cards - so high end😂

Perhaps she should start with Happy Families 😂

Christ- I’ll get banged up in the tower with you all but no way am I being tortured too and eating that shite.

It’s ok ! , just done my Tesco shop, we will be ok 👍

I finally took a 'dip' in the TC/W&C thread. Oh my!

Ahem, I see that some posters, who shall remain nameless but you know who you are <looks around the assembly hall with narrowed eyes> have treated the OP with disdain and have turned the thread into a mockery. I have pondered long on how to comment on your buffoonery. And all I have to say to all of you is <listens to posters shifting in their seats>..........Well Done, Y'all.

And to the OP on that thread I say .....Well, Bless your heart, Sugar.

And thanks for the new thread @jeffgoldblum . Now back to the not-naughty step* with you.

*The not-naughty step is the naughty step, but with a full bar.

Thanks for the new thread

If you end in the Tower, I'll have to start a revolution to get you out. I'll land in Hastings, recruit the disgruntled county of Sussex under my banner of a broken dog bowl, and overthrow the Sussexes. I will then make George acting king with Princess Anne as regent. With the aid of the retired MI5 leaders and the Edinburghs, we will rescue William and Catherine and check them in a reprogramming clinic.

I'm not sure what to do with the disposed Sussexes. The kids probably want to go back to California.

She has a lifestyle brand called “As Ever” that promises to “bring surprise and delight to your every day”. It will certainly bring surprise to whoever pays your grocery bill, as its raspberry spread costs $12 a jar. More surprising yet is its “Sage Honey” ($32). Best of all is the “Raspberry Spread Trio”, which offers three jars of that $12 item for $42, thus bringing surprise not merely to bill-payers but to those versed in the usual principles of economies of scale.

The hampers will bring a surprise to Christmas as per the article from the economist linked on the previous thread. The price will far exceed the sum total of the contents plus empty basket.

As ever with the meticulous attention to detail. M is stirring something in a pan but seems to have forgotten to turn the stove on.

This is an amazing summary. Thank you 🙏

Et voila

Oh my god. Chancers and scroungers.

I'm not sure what to do with the disposed Sussexes. The kids probably want to go back to California.

They'll disappear into the cells from which we have been liberated, never to be seen again <sinister laugh>