Since we are now on thread 3 I'm going to throw out my theory about the initial allegations, which is based on knowing absolutely no one in royal circles.
Harry had the conversation before they were married around the time of the gross 'straight outta Compton' comment in The Mail and the subsequent statement released by Kensington Palace. Who the conversation was with I have no idea but I think that person was well aware of Harry's loathing of the press and how it affected him. I think they raised his need to be prepared for similar distasteful articles if he and Meghan had children. That is what I believed the concern was about, how Harry would cope with his child's appearance being speculated about and commented on in the press. Then I think when Meghan was pregnant Harry repeated the conversation as a warning about the tabloids but he didn't realise that she took it the wrong way.
This I think accounts for the discrepancy in timelines and the way they both reported the conversation to Oprah. The subsequent linking of the conversation to titles and security is a different issue.
Again just my theory and I'm not related to the third footman at Balmoral.