William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

What was right for your family isn’t necessarily right for someone else’s family. It sounds like there was a lot of disagreement and stress in advance of the wedding (regardless of fault), and I can understand why that - in addition to the new baby - may not have left William feeling in a celebratory mood or able to neglect his duties at home.

You also don’t know how Harry was behaving. Given all that has passed by this point he might have been continually taking potshots at William which would have been inappropriate for him to defend in the company of others.

"Her" newborn?

THEIR newborn.

William is entitled to put the needs of his immediate family first. Just as Harry was when he decided the best thing for his family was to step back.

Seeing as Harry is now a parent himself, his continuing lack of empathy for families with newborns is really something.

FGS

What's that term again... scraping the barrel?yes op, what a calamity, what a to do!

Recollections may vary.

I thought William wasn't the actual best man for Harry any more than Harry was for William...

It's not compulsory to stay over & doesn't mean you don't love your brother/sister etc.

William is entitled to put the needs of his immediate family first

he is indeed. But I would be very upset if a sibling of mine did that. Your wedding is a special day. It was one night.

I guess alot of people just put themselves first though. I find that selfish. It certainly wasn’t ‘the right thing for my family’ to go to a hotel hours away from home with a 6 week old while still in pain from a section but I can recognise it wasn’t about me it was about my BIL and my DH being there for him - especially with their parent missing the wedding. And that is without staff and nannies. I really don’t see for the sake of one important night for Harry her parents who she apparently has an amazing relationship couldn’t come over and help out.

How old was the baby? I wouldn't have wanted to stay away overnight with a new baby. Loads of parents on MN say the same thing.

@donquixotedelamancha she didn’t have to stay away with the new baby. I was saying I did it for my BIL. William was supposed to be with him at the hotel the night before.

Baby was about 3 weeks old, if I remember correctly.

You are saying William should have stayed away from the baby overnight aren't you?

I'm saying I wouldn't want to and when that question comes up on here most people seem to feel the same.

Baby was about 3 weeks old, if I remember correctly.

Thanks. Not a cat in hell chance I'd have left either of my daughters overnight that soon.

In your opinion, he was in the wrong. I think he was right to put his family first. So in my opinion, he wasn't in the wrong.

It wasn't just one 3 week old baby though, the Waleses have 2 other children. No way would I have wanted dh to leave me with either of mine when they were 3 weeks old.

William is entitled to put the needs of his immediate family first

he is indeed. But I would be very upset if a sibling of mine did that. Your wedding is a special day. It was one night.

You’d be upset a sibling wanted to be at home with their new baby rather than fannying around in a hotel for a night for .. what a few drinks and a pep talk? Literally no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. No one. I’d be fucking livid if my sibling had this disgusting self centred attitude and I say this as someone getting married this year.

I guess alot of people just put themselves first though. I find that selfish
oh the fucking irony.

Harry and William were not close or even really in good terms at this point, we don’t know everything but I for one can understand if harry was being as much as a dick as he is now why William didn’t.

I Really don’t think your family has anything to do with it.

im nc with my brother, I’d not have went, doesn’t make me a bad person

Given that Louis was 3 weeks old, even attending the wedding was a big deal. Neither DH nor I would have wanted to be away from our newborn at that age.

For a wedding not broadcast to the world, many new parents would have just managed to get themselves there and sat in the back pew with the newborn. Yes, even new parents who have access to help. A brother might still have served as best man, but it would have been ceremonial, not actually logistical. More a run up and do the ceremony kind of gig.

I don’t know any brothers, mine included, who spent the night under the same roof before their wedding. It’s a really odd thing to get worked up about. It’s not even as if William flew in from a far away location. Why should he spend the night?

Ive read the book, I feel for Harry. But I’m neither ‘team’ K&W or M&H.

Harry was in the wrong for organising his wedding for just after the birth of his nephew. If his brother’s presence was that important to him, he would have agreed a more equitable date. It feels almost like a test.

As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him

If there's one word I'd outlaw from the language it's 'should.' It leads to people making all sorts of stupid rules up about how other people should behave even when the lives and circumstances of those people are completely different from the lives of the rule makers. And it's a word that tends to make the rulemakers think that their way is the right and only way and go on about that at length.

I didn’t even realise brothers were meant to spend the night together. Is it the same for sisters? What if your siblings are only the opposite sex then what.

I spent my pre wedding night with my now husband like millions of people in these not the 1930’s times.

I agree I think it was really poor form of him not to stay w Harry the night before the wedding. However if he didn’t approve of the wedding I can see why he didn’t want to stay over in case there was a row, especially with drink taken. I’d say that’s the real reason he wouldn’t stay over