William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

If Louis was only three weeks old then all I can say is kudos to Kate for getting dressed up for the wedding, four inch heels included.

How on earth do you know what conversations took place re the arrangements? How do you know that Harry didn't invite William to stay?

See I would say OP that if your BIL wanted you to travel hours away from home when you were in pain and had a 6 week old baby, THAT is unreasonable. Your DH could have gone without you, if you had someone else to help? Or stayed with you, if that is what you needed.

Weddings are overblown and meaningless to pretty much everyone other than the couple getting married. Having a baby and the demands of that, and making sure a new mum is looked after postnatally is way more important.

I’ve read the excerpt concerned.

William goes to see the crowds with Harry and has dinner with him but says he can’t stay the night because “kids”.

I think Harry comes ones across as rather petulant about it. He doesn’t think the “kids” excuse is good enough. Not once does Harry acknowledge that William had a 3-week old at home and two other young children.

Personally I give William a pass given he had a newborn.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough

The Catherine who'd just given birth three weeks previously? what was she supposed to do, make sure his shirt was ironed and lay out his clothes for him?

Ah I see it's what Harry wrote in his book.

Oh right. Pinch of salt needed, then.

I couldn’t agree more. Given the usual approach to scheduling I was amazed at the timing of this wedding. Poor Catherine, ouch.

If you haven't got it from the book yet, Harry doesn't like William. They are not close. They don't like each other. Harry doesn't think he was his own brother' best man. By Harry's account, there is very little in the way of fun or support that could have passed between these two on the eve of the wedding. Conversely, there was a real chance of antagonism flaring up, as a few days previously there had been the bridesmaid dress debacle, William allegedly jabbing his finger, Meghan breaking Kate's boundaries by talking about "baby brain". William was wise to keep his distance and avoid any further upset. After all, if they'd got in to another fight, Harry would be the one to suffer the major consequences, being the centre of attention as the groom. The brothers looked perfectly content with one another at the ceremony. If brothers want to do that for each other the night before the wedding, fine. But there is no "should" about it.

Do you not consider your brothers/sisters your family?

I now have visions of Harry sitting on the edge of his bed all alone like Donkey in Shrek because his bruv wasn't there

I have a feeling that H&M were pretty clueless about the realities of pregnancy and having a newborn prior to having their own children. Meghan tactlessly said that Kate had "baby brain" and Harry got upset when William wanted to support his wife overnight with a newborn.

I bet they changed their tune when they had their own children and discovered how exhausting those first months are - even with help, only the mother can bf and it's exhausting.

I think this is a fuss over nothing, tbh. If Louis had been older, William would probably have stayed with his brother.

There's always the assumption that, just because they are royal and have help, that their children will settle for the help or the in-laws and won't want their parents; or that the parents won't be upset and stressed to be away from their children; or that the couple shouldn't want to be there for each other, particularly when tensions and emotions had been running high during the preceding few days.

The needs of a baby and new mother come before that of a grown assed man. The same way Harry and Meghan put their privacy into account over tradition when Archie was born.

If I was getting married the next day and my SIL had just given birth I'd be telling my brother to go home to her, not getting all whiny because he did. Why did PH need his brother there anyway?

Neither side was in the wrong and to be honest it all sounds like a load of utter bollocks.

If all this even happened (large pinch of salt needed), William struck a perfectly good compromise by returning to his own wife and young children, including a 3 week old baby, after dinner.

I'm neither team William and Kate nor team Harry and Meghan. I would love to see some effort made to bury the hatchet but that doesn't look like happening anytime soon.

His wedding was important to us. My wedding was important to me. My SIL came and was bridesmaid at my wedding and gave birth 5 days later. It seems we are one of the only families who put ourselves out to ensure special days are celebrated and to consider siblings family judging by this thread! I am neither a Harry nor a William fan. I was just surprised at this.

@Mummyoflittledragon maybe like my BIL there was a ticking biological clock which is why he had the wedding so soon after my baby was born. They were engaged and married in 9 months.

I agree, @Topseyt123 I'm not strongly in favor of either couple, all this pettiness is so sad and pointless (aside from making H $$$).

Catherine and William announced her pregnancy in September 2017 - baby due in April 2018.

Meghan and Harry announce their engagement in November 2017 - a full two months after the forthcoming birth announcement. Then schedule the wedding for mid May.

It only took Louis to arrive a couple of weeks late and the wedding would be a week or two after the birth at best!

Not much thought on H&M's part - so maybe they actually didn't 'care enough' to make the wedding June or July and give Catherine recover? It's a bit different with a wedding organised a year or two in advance, but one organised with six months notice should be scheduled better.

Anyway, why would Harry be at a hotel? It was held at Windsor Castle! I think that has more than enough room for the bride and groom not to bump into each other. After all it's not your average three bedroom semi with one bathroom is it?!

Harry was putting himself and his wedding first by asking William to spend an extra night away from his family (and it was an "extra" night, William spent the entire next day at the wedding. In total it's a long time to spend away from a new baby). You must be terribly cross at Harry for being so very selfish and not putting others first.

And you took your six week old baby to your family wedding? So little consideration for the happy couple, are you really sure they wanted a baby there? Crying, taking attention away from the bride. Couldn't you put them first on their special day? Perhaps you could take a leaf from Kate's book, she didn't take Louis to Harry's wedding.

It seems we are one of the only families who put ourselves out to ensure special days are celebrated and to consider siblings family judging by this thread!

Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back too hard. 🎖

I think Op's on a wind up

They had a three week old baby, FFS. If someone were to start a thread on here asking whether it was OK to ask their husband not to go out unnecessarily, it would have got a close to unanimous YANBU vote - especially if said person was also expected to wrangle two older children to be bridesmaid/pageboy the next day and generally turn up looking immaculate and happy despite probably having leaky breasts, a sore fanny and having had an interrupted night's sleep.

It seems we are one of the only families who put ourselves out to ensure special days are celebrated and to consider siblings family judging by this thread!

I hope the Daily Mail do a story on your special family, complete with a photoshoot.

Oh I dunno. If there's one thing that's clear on this site, it's the total inability of some people to get that not everyone runs their lives the way they do, thinks like they do, or conducts their relationships like they do.