William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

Well judging by the animosity Harry claims was present all their lives and in the preceding week, there's a good chance one of them might have been turning up to the chapel with a black eye had W stayed and the alcohol was flowing.

One night before global news agencies scrutinised your appearance via multiple camera angles.

Where is your empathy for a postpartum woman?

If this were an AIBU post we’d all be encouraging her to stay home and telling her to LTB if he dared pick his adult brother over her and the kids!

We certainly would.

And for the record, I reckon we’d also be hugely supportive of a pregnant newlywed woman who wasn’t happy about being dragged off on an international trip for the sake of her husband’s work/family! Especially an older mum to be who is at additional risk for pre eclampsia. I wouldn’t have wanted to long-haul fly while preggers in my late 30s.

This doesn’t have to be a K v M thing, it’s perfectly possible to say that being in the RF is a shit show of a job for a pregnant woman/new mother, and that it’s Not Reasonable to heap on loads of expectations just because they have unlimited access to nannies/housekeepers/dressers.

You could give me a whole team of dressers and I still wouldn’t want to squeeze my 3 week postpartum gut into a pair of flesh tone spanx for my BIL’s wedding! Not even with extra hands to help the squeezing!

There's not enough Tena lady in the world that would have got me to wear pale yellow 3 weeks post partum!

Agree with @DaughterOfPsychiatrist and @Ridemeginger.

I had my DS by c-section and, three week after giving birth, was in a lot of pain with an infection in the wound. Which Kate could have been. Just because the first two were vaginal births doesn't mean the third follows suit.

Courtiers arranging things, M&H, the royal family, whoever - really didn't care how Kate could have been feeling as long as the calendar wasn't impacted too much by the wedding did they?

Not even with an emergency norethisterone script and a plastic-lined gusset!

imagine the gossip of Kate had worn a more blood/pee-disguising colour though - anything bright (red/orange etc) would’ve been critiqued as a desperate attention grab and anything dark (forest green, navy etc) would’ve been interpreted (at least in hindsight) as mourning the loss of Harry to his modern-day Mrs Simpson!

while I don’t agree with all of Harry’s remarks re: the press it’s true that women who marry into the Royals are generally in a rock/hard place situation and can’t possibly please everyone across both legacy and social media.

Frankly, I think Royal women should all get a normal UK maternity leave period, either completely behind closed doors (no public appearances at all) or at the very least, events with pre approved press photos only until an official return-to-work date.

Kate and William were lucky to have had that newlywed period in Wales pretending to be somewhat normal.
Harry and Meghan would likely have benefitted from similar, especially for the duration of Meghan’s first pregnancy and postnatal period, It’s shame that time wasn’t ringfenced as family leave.

She was 3 weeks postpartum, if she wanted him there then that's good enough. He had a 3 week old baby and 2 other young children and a 3 week postpartum wife, if he wanted to be there then that's good enough.

Harry was a grown man, what did it matter where his brother was sleeping? Did he want him to sleep with him because otherwise it just didn't matter.

Harry is a prat. A rich, entitled spoilt one.

Why would William want to be on his own with a bully?

i haven't read the book, but I am sure that I read on here that is was Willian that assaulted Harry and not the other way round.

Harry also says that things may not have actually happened the way he describes them. His memory he says isn’t reliable or words to that effect.

He doesn’t come across as very nice whereas surprisingly for me William does. Not only that but the incident, if it did happen, was because William was trying to find out why Meghan was bullying staff. Something Harry IIRC doesn’t deny.

Harry bears grudges & doesn’t believe William when he tells him he wants him to be happy.

Harry so far comes across as a bit of a bully not the other way round. I’m about half way through now so my view may change.

The passages about Pat the matron are quite frankly vile. And he has no remorse i the way it’s described either. Zero self awareness.

Frankly, I think Royal women should all get a normal UK maternity leave period, either completely behind closed doors (no public appearances at all) or at the very least, events with pre approved press photos only until an official return-to-work date.

They’re going backwards. That’s exactly what the Queen did.

Maybe they want to still go to Wimbledon and Film premiers? I wouldn't want to miss out if I was them.

Maybe they do. They should have the choice.

Re-Royals maternity leave, the wedding is a very blurred line, is it 'work' or 'family'.

Don't they?

Kate had Louis in late April and her first official engagement was in early October.

Meghan had Archie in May and her first engagement was an appearance for Smartworks on 13th September. So in both cases that's over 4 months maternity leave.

Of course, both women were seen at Trooping and other events within this period, but I'm sure they could easily have chosen not to attend had they preferred.

If I was a Royal I would not want to sit at home while my husband and kids went to the Panto or World Cup Final.
And I am sure they have the choice. Remember they have nannies who know the children from birth. They are not trying to find someone on a sitter website.

I don’t know. Don’t most women take longer mat leave than four to six months? There are plenty of people who enjoy calling them lazy now, they’d froth even more if they took the same mat leave as most other people. They just can’t win.

Actually, didn’t both Harry and Meghan take a long period of parental leave after Lilibet was born? Didn’t Meghan campaign for statutory maternal leave in the States? Wouldn’t that have given Harry some insight as to why William didn’t want to stay overnight with him ?

Sussexes paternal leave

Depends on the job. And to be fair, 'work' for a 'full time' royal wouldn't even be equivalent to a part time job for most women so I don't think being asked to show up at a museum or community centre a few times a week is particularly onerous 4 months after giving birth.

4 months after giving birth I was still breastfeeding every 2-3 hours.

When you say it's less than part-time are you taking into account prep time and time to pick outfits, particularly for the women of the RF who seem to be expected to have an never ending wardrobe. The men folk seem to get away with wearing the same suit on multiple occasions.

But they don’t just “show up”.

For each visit the royals are carefully briefed in advance on the finer details of the project they are visiting, the people they will meet - their roles and interests. Also whether they have received any past royal visits or honours. They are also given a proposed schedule to agree and then to commit to memory, and to stick to.

They are also briefed more widely on the area to be visited, any relevant local information and initiatives connected to the project.

There is a huge amount to learn and memorise in advance. Then on the day there’s hair, make up and dressing, not to mention travel.

Kate is obviously very good at her job if she can make so much effort appear so spontaneous and effortless.

Yes, quite right. Some people are very naive about what these engagements entail. They also have to keep up to date with the work of their charities and often make visits that aren’t public knowledge.

There's already a lengthy discussion on the nature of royal 'work' going on, so I'm not going to get involved in another.

I'm aware that they 'don't just show up' although I do think you exaggerate the level of work involved. However, I stand by my claim that most 'full time' royal schedules wouldn't even be considered part time for most people, and of course they don't have to worry about the mundane everyday tasks most working parents have to. So in light of all that, 4 months of maternity leave seems plenty. If Kate or Meghan weren't happy to return to 'work' I doubt anyone could or would force them to do so.