William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

I don't really see the issue with him not spending the night at a hotels, they went for dinner together and was obviously at the wedding. It's not like he blew the whole thing off

Seriously. You need some help. The conspiracy theories on this board are out of this world! I posted on the royal family topic as it concerned the royal family. I see from other posters mine and my families take on what we would do in this situation is very different to what others on mumsnet think. I’m obviously lucky in my family. Put down the tinfoil hat.

I do get the feeling (haven't read the book but following several threads) that PH's feelings towards his brother seem to be what you could call conflicted. He regrets that they aren't as close as they were but seem to resent that marriage (William's) has come between them. And that he's the spare, of course. He seems to really resent William for that when he's spent his whole life knowing that he is.

Even before MM appeared on the scene he was, according to the Low book, obsessed with the notion that his time was running out to make a mark, despite people telling him he had years of service - just looks at the Dukes of Gloucester and the Duke of Kent and they aren't anywhere near being spares.

Stepping away from this thread now. Didn’t realise the royal family board was so full of conspiracy nuts and AIBU crazies combined! Lesson learnt.

It makes you wonder what would have happened if Catherine had gone overdue and Louis was born a couple of DAYS before the wedding. Or was she induced early.
Catherine did well to dress up with high heels.

Chastising a father for supporting his post partum wife and their 3 children, one of them a newborn, rather than participating in a stag night is pretty odd behaviour on a parenting forum.

What made your family the default for all others?

You are of course a saint putting yourself out for your b’n’law when your baby was 6 wks old - but William and Kate get to decide what’s right for their family when Louis was less than 4 wks old. William is a human being, father and husband and just because he’s going to be king one day it’s not cool for you to judge his parenting decisions because someone who is clearly angry with their sibling relationship or lack of wants to complain about him.

Seriously. You need some help. The conspiracy theories on this board are out of this world!

Telling people they need help (presumably with their mental health) because they aren't convinced you are posting in good faith isn't a conspiracy theory, just an opinion.

And I'll reserve judgement as to whether what you have with your family is 'lucky.' Sounds stifling and overbearing, frankly.

Who has posited a conspiracy? Do you always expect people to just agree with you?

Yeah, you're the sane one here. Bye bye.

I'm not sure when it became a thing for a brother or best man to stay with the groom the night before (nor bridesmaids with the bride for that matter) I blame American movies

Calm down Op , just be glad that you have a happy family and accept other families do things differently.

Why on earth would William spend the night with Harry when they had fallen out, never really got on that well, and his wife was at home with three children including a three week old baby?

Can you read? The poster said: Why are you dismissing a father's wish to be with his young children?

William's wish to be with his young children, including his newborn.

Some dads are just like that

Genuine question for those who think William dud the wrong thing: Is it the norm for brothers to spend the night under the same roof the night before the wedding??

Yes I would say it is, especially if they are in the wedding party and especially as they are each other’s only sibling.

I don’t know anyone who stayed the night with their sibling when they live in the same city. Fair enough if they are having to travel a long way but otherwise why?

Succinct and apt

But do you know of people who have done this? That is my question. Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I don’t know any. Even the ones who have travelled from far away haven’t stayed together (though I guess that might make sense for practical reasons). I mean, sure, a meal together the night before, but if you live in the same city, home for an early night. 🤷‍♀️

The children who have full time nannies??? Who they are frequently away from on royal duties? The ones who are apparently super close to their loving grandparents on Catherine’s side? Sorry I thought they might be fine with various nannies and grandparents and their mother for the night!

They are working, like other working parents. Are you suggesting ordinary working parents who use a nanny or day care are less close to their children, and just dump them whatever the circumstances?

Just because the children are royal, does not stop them being children - really young children in this case. This does not mean that the children need their parents less in circumstances where we know at least one of them (Charlotte) has been upset prior to the wedding. That doesn't mean they (tiny children) will just settle with anyone when they might be nervous/hyper about performing the following day in a massive wedding in from of crowds of people and TV cameras.

If they will only settle down for a parent, William being on an overnight banger would mean Kate having to get 3 children to settle, having to reassure 2 of them about the following day, having to get 2 of them to go to sleep. Not to mention that she - 3 weeks post party - is in the spotlight herself the next day, probably still exhausted from pregnancy and birth (we know she has bad pregnancies), probably knackered from breastfeeding etc.

How about in the morning, getting ready? William probably had to leave early to be with the groom's party, so what. Kate has to do all the wrestling the night before, and make sure everyone is dressed and ready the next morning. Nanny or no nanny, that is a big bloody ask when the wedding is a GLOBALLY TELEVISED EVENT, not someone's tiny little wedding nobody outside of your family really cares about.

OP you seem to be forgetting that Harry doesn't like William very much. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want him to stay over the night before the wedding and never asked him to do so, but is now using that as a stick to beat him with.

Op youve just given me the rage. My selfish BIL decided that DH needed to attend his Stag do when our baby was 16 days old. DH had already had a night working away when baby was 14 days old unavoidably but 16 days old was BILs stag do. I still haven't really forgiven him for dragging DH away when the stag do could have waited 3/4 weeks. Baby was 8 weeks at the wedding.
Why did Harry need to have his wedding when Kate and William had a tiny newborn and his cousin Zara was due to pop? Putting the wedding back 2 months wouldn't have made any difference to Harry or Meg.

William put his wife first. I don't blame him especially when their were another two small children to consider.

I'm American and you may see it in the movies but spending the night with your bridemaids or groomsmen is not really the done thing here. In fact, I've never heard of it.

you do know that people enjoy being bridesmaid for their close friends and families!

Yes, I'm sure she had a ball, days from giving birth and having to have her hair and makeup done and wedge herself into a dress then stand during the ceremony - please tell me she could sit down. Did you insist she wear heels, as well?

No need for all the exclamation marks, BTW.

No, norm for Bride / Groom to spend the night with their parents, and I guess the answer would be yes if siblings still stayed at home but not otherwise