William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

It seems we are one of the only families who put ourselves out to ensure special days are celebrated and to consider siblings family judging by this thread!

@MaybelleMary A wedding is one (albeit special) day in a person's life. Family relationships are forged over decades and not being able to accommodate a request on one particular day doesn't indicate that you don't love each other!

My parents couldn't come to my wedding as my Mum's health was precarious at the time - does that indicate that they didn't love me? Not at all, I missed them terribly that day, but I didn't want her to be alone while my Dad celebrated with us.

His wedding was important to us

Speak for yourself

It seems we are one of the only families who put ourselves out to ensure special days are celebrated and to consider siblings family judging by this thread!

And if your sibling hates you. What then?

I’m genuinely not on a wind up. I can see others point of view on this I was genuinely surprised though as I said above it’s the done thing in m family to consider your siblings family and to make an effort for family. So I found it a part of the book where I saw Harry’s side. My DH also went on his brothers stag when our baby was 3 weeks old for a full weekend and my parents both came and stayed with me. As it was his brother I didn’t mind this. Any other friend I would’ve said no and DH would’ve declined too. Catherine seemed to be close to her family too. In our case everyone would rally round to support the new mum while also making sure DH could be there for his brother for the sake of a wedding. This is without having nannies, staff, cleaners, makeup / hair / dressmakers on hand like they do.

Fancy asking your SIL to be a bridesmaid five days before she gives birth. You family doesn't sound like it puts itself out, it sounds selfish and self-absorbed and 'It's all about ME and my special day!'

That's lovely for your family but obviously the royal family work differently.

he is indeed. But I would be very upset if a sibling of mine did that. Your wedding is a special day. It was one night.

Your wedding is indeed a special day. A meal the day before, not so much. William was there for his brother on the wedding day.

I guess alot of people just put themselves first though. I find that selfish

Do you find it selfish for a man to put his recently delivered wife and newborn baby first on a day which isn't even the wedding day? If so, why?

So because something is true for you it must be true for complete strangers?

You have no clue what was going on with Kate and the kids. She may have been utterly exhausted, 3 week old Louis might have been fractious, all sorts of things. Add in the fact that it seems the relationship between the couples was somewhat fraught at the time, and you can very well understand why William chose to support his wife and children.

either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding

So fucking what if they didn't?

As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him

I thought Harry said that he chose a different best man, just like William did?

You're banging on about "the new mum" yet forgetting to mention the children

You know the children that William had a responsibility to. That he probably wanted to be with. Because whilst the newborn was probably near-constantly in 'the new mum's' arms, there were two other young children who were adjusting to having a younger sibling AND who - as a PP pointed out - had important, serious roles to play out in public the next day. Oh how selfish of William to put them before his adult brother.

Why are you dismissing a father's wish to be with his young children?

And once again OP, we only have Harry's version of events. I doubt William will be coming out with a rebuttal to this story but it would be interesting to see what his recollection would be. Harry say anything he likes really, safe in the knowledge that the Royal family are not going to get into a he said-she said slanging match.

My DH also went on his brothers stag when our baby was 3 weeks old for a full weekend and my parents both came and stayed with me

Does DH have other siblings? if he does, where were they? I notice it's YOUR family that rallies round.

As it was his brother I didn’t mind this

It doesn't sound to me like you get much choice in the matter.

Well from the extracts I've read and the TV interviews I've seen, William and Harry haven't been close for years so why would Harry care if William was there or not? Did he want reassurance from William that he doing the right thing?😂

She seems to think the children were entirely Kate's responsibility. Hence referring to 'her newborn' rather than 'their newborn'. She also seems to think that their father had less responsibility towards his own children than Kate's family did.

This jumped out at me too, how utterly selfish.

She also seems to think that their father had less responsibility towards his own children than Kate's family did

I have to say that going by her latest post that seems to be the OP's family pattern. DH pushes off on a weekend stag, OP's parents step in. No mention of DH's family.

Anyway; as it's in the memoir I'm sure it's all gospel 😅

OP - I dunno, it depends on the age of the baby. 3 weeks is very young (different from 3months). Sometimes breast feeding is not well established yet. Whilst you might be fine, can you not understand why others might not be? On the flip side - I personally would avoid having a wedding if it was near the due date of anyone in the immediate family (just like I would avoid having it on the 80th birthday or golden wedding anniversary of a grandparent). I mean understandably there are situations where there are just too many constraints (eg relatives getting older or too many immediate family pregnant) - but I would understand if/why they couldn’t make it.

Yes, the OP does @IcedPurple

They also seem to be on a wind-up. The alliterative name, the goady posting to bash William and/or Kate, the faux surprise that they Would Do Such a Thing... there's been a lot of threads like this.

@MaybelleMary in any situation between two people there’s the two sides of the story and then the actual truth which is usually a blend of both. We are only ever hearing one side of the story. It would be naive to ever believe 100% of what one person says without hearing the other side.

Also Harry needed to fill up a book with anecdotes and the more that involved his brother the better for sales, so he may be blowing many things out of proportion while minimizing other things. We have no idea, it’s just his subjective opinion, not a court of law.

Having clocked that William actually went to the dinner. but just didn't want to stay overnight in a hotel, I'm even more incredulous that you OR Harry are moaning about this. What conceivable difference did it make to Harry where his brother slept? If he wanted any words of support or wisdom from him, he could have talked to him at the dinner or when they met up before the wedding, or any other time, really.

The more I hear about the incredibly petty little grievances Harry has been storing up over the years, the more I think he desperately needs to grow the fuck up before he messes up his own children's upbringing.

Absolutely. I remember thinking she did incredibly well that day. How many women could pull that off less than three weeks after they had a baby? I certainly couldn’t.

To repeat myself, I've read the excerpt concerned.

And frankly I suspect it's one where William's memory is fairly similar to what's recounted here. As I said above, William said he couldn't stay overnight because of the kids. Fair enough. Harry thought this was bad.

I'm sure William probably pointed out he had a newborn and said more than the few words Harry quotes him as saying.

But I imagine he'd probably agree with the overall account - it's not like he could have a better excuse than his young children is it.

The RF can't win. They are either criticised for being cold towards their children; or people like the OP criticise them for putting their children first, and not dumping them in the charge of nannies/inlaws/ a stressed new mum; on the eve of a globally televised event where 2 of them will be bridesmaid/paige boy, one has already been upset in the run up over her dress; and therefore need to be in the calming presence of their non stressed parents, the people that know them the best, who are also supporting each other, not one of them nursing a fucking hangover.

The children who have full time nannies??? Who they are frequently away from on royal duties? The ones who are apparently super close to their loving grandparents on Catherine’s side? Sorry I thought they might be fine with various nannies and grandparents and their mother for the night!

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain 😂 you do know that people enjoy being bridesmaid for their close friends and families! Or again maybe I’m from a minority family who actually like each other! We all had a great day and they have lovely photos framed in their hall of her pregnant looking amazing in her dress, hair and makeup done and my brother that my photographer took.