Page 4 | How Harry lost his virginity #2 - 50 Shades of Neigh 🐴

SnottyLottie · 2023-01-06T18:01:08+00:00

I’ve been asked to start a new thread 🐴 🐎 [[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_royal_family/4713243-how-harry-lost-his-virginity?page=1 Part 1]]

ArcaneWireless · 06/01/2023 19:16

Boabby in the shower surely? 😉

MareAndSpare · 06/01/2023 19:16

That tapestry is wonderful.

How Harry lost his virginity #2 - 50 Shades of Neigh 🐴

SnowAndIceLobelia · 06/01/2023 19:16

He's unwell. He's desperately unwell. This is all so so mad.

I'm starting to get really afraid for him. This is a complete car crash and he is so far removed from anything real and sane right now that these insights into his mind are scary.

Overtone · 06/01/2023 19:17

Theskyoutsideisblue · 06/01/2023 19:15

It is all getting Bobbie in the shower now isn’t it

Or Bouncer’s Dream

SummerHouse · 06/01/2023 19:17

Theskyoutsideisblue · 06/01/2023 19:15

It is all getting Bobbie in the shower now isn’t it

The seals know it.

ArcaneWireless · 06/01/2023 19:17

Smokeahontas · 06/01/2023 19:14

Pls no

And presented herself like a giant panda - as they had told her to do by the medium of dance.

MissMarpleRocks · 06/01/2023 19:18

I’ve laughed so much but do you I can’t believe this or any of it now is real.

Surely it couldn’t get past Meghan, the author couldn’t not have seriously written this absolute drivel.

I don’t want to believe it, because if it’s true then this man needs bloody help.

Theskyoutsideisblue · 06/01/2023 19:18

@ArcaneWireless maybe booby in the shower

ArcaneWireless · 06/01/2023 19:18

Wrong quote. Basically the palms on the floor arse in the air one…

ArcaneWireless · 06/01/2023 19:19

Bouncer’s dream.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare · 06/01/2023 19:23

50shadesofneigh · 06/01/2023 19:11

He found out that Meghan was late. Harry described it as another spiritual moment, which involved a little magic from Diana, who died in 1997.
He “fell asleep” while his wife was taking two at-home pregnancy tests in their Nottingham Cottage bathroom. When he woke up, Meghan had placed the wands on his nightstand.
“I only kept a few things there, among them the blue box with my mother’s hair,” he wrote. “Right, I thought, good. Let’s see what Mummy can do with this situation.”
A few moments later, the couple looked at both tests and found they were positive. The duo hugged and kissed in celebration.
Once the news set in, the duke remembered thinking, “Thank you, selkies,” which are a mythological creature originating in the Northern Isles of Scotland. The “selkie” is thought to be a creature that changes from seal to human form, a nod to the couple’s late-night singalong in the U.K.

Horses, seals. There's a very Dr Dolittle theme to this book.

Harry breaks the seal.

50shadesofneigh · 06/01/2023 19:24

Harry Took Laughing Gas While Meghan Was in Labor
The Duke of Sussex wrote that Meghan “laughed and rolled her eyes” after he “took several slow, penetrating hits” of laughing gas when she was in labor with son Archie in 2019. He subsequently joined his wife as she bounced on a giant purple ball. When the nurse tried to administer the laughing gas to Meghan as her contractions continued, Harry wrote “there was none left” for the actress.

ArcaneWireless · 06/01/2023 19:25

Oh ye cannae shove your granny aff a bus.

but you can fuck someone else’s granny like a stallion

SirVixofVixHall · 06/01/2023 19:25

50shadesofneigh · 06/01/2023 19:06

The Duke of Sussex, 38, recalled that he received two signs that he was going to be a first-time parent. The first one came when he and Meghan, 41, were in Scotland and stumbled upon a group of singing seals while boating.
Harry remembered his wife singing to the animals whom he claimed sang back. “She really is magic, I thought. Even the seals know it.”
As the “seal opera” continued, the prince decided to count the moment as a “good omen” and stripped down, jumped in the water and swam toward them.
He was later told that it was a “bad idea” to dive into the Scottish sea, which was allegedly “teeming with killer whales.” Harry, however, chose to see it as a “lovely fairytale.”

Even the seals know it.

Or maybe she sings like a barking seal…!

Cariadz · 06/01/2023 19:25

Honper · 06/01/2023 19:07

Killer whales??!

Yes. They can be seen off some of Scotlands shore during certain times of the year.

AngryGoblin · 06/01/2023 19:25

Could it all be spoof? Because surely this lot isn’t for real?

ReneBumsWombats · 06/01/2023 19:26

50shadesofneigh · 06/01/2023 19:11

He found out that Meghan was late. Harry described it as another spiritual moment, which involved a little magic from Diana, who died in 1997.
He “fell asleep” while his wife was taking two at-home pregnancy tests in their Nottingham Cottage bathroom. When he woke up, Meghan had placed the wands on his nightstand.
“I only kept a few things there, among them the blue box with my mother’s hair,” he wrote. “Right, I thought, good. Let’s see what Mummy can do with this situation.”
A few moments later, the couple looked at both tests and found they were positive. The duo hugged and kissed in celebration.
Once the news set in, the duke remembered thinking, “Thank you, selkies,” which are a mythological creature originating in the Northern Isles of Scotland. The “selkie” is thought to be a creature that changes from seal to human form, a nod to the couple’s late-night singalong in the U.K.

Horses, seals. There's a very Dr Dolittle theme to this book.

Selkies need their sealskin coats to take their seal forms. If you want to capture a selkie, force her to marry you or slowly kill her with heartbreak, take her coat so she is forced to stay human.

ArcaneWireless · 06/01/2023 19:28

Selkies need their sealskin coats to take their seal forms. If you want to capture a selkie, force her to marry you or slowly kill her with heartbreak, take her coat so she is forced to stay human.

And write a book called spare because she will be too affronted to show her face to her seal kin once it is published. 🦭

Overtone · 06/01/2023 19:29

AngryGoblin · 06/01/2023 19:25

Could it all be spoof? Because surely this lot isn’t for real?

I’m trying to debate what would be worse: I’d the “I killed 25 Taliban fighters” is true of if it was a spoof that he & the publishers knowingly released…

JaneJeffer · 06/01/2023 19:29

I love Selkie stories. Maybe Harry can write a book of those next time.

ArcaneWireless · 06/01/2023 19:30

Harry breaks the seal.

He did that round the back of the pub I believe.

Snippedasababy · 06/01/2023 19:31

So he woke up to 2 pissy sticks next to his mums hair on the night stand. And thinks his Mum and the seals made Meghan pregnant?

Overtone · 06/01/2023 19:33

Snippedasababy · 06/01/2023 19:31

So he woke up to 2 pissy sticks next to his mums hair on the night stand. And thinks his Mum and the seals made Meghan pregnant?

“Diana and The Seals” would make a good band name to be fair…

Fiji10 · 06/01/2023 19:34

How long did he sleep for?!!!!
He fell asleep when she was taking the test and then they both marvelled at the result together after he'd had his beauty sleep AND communed with his mother and the seals?

JustWhattheDoctorOrdered · 06/01/2023 19:34

The Windsor show has jumped the shark, that’s for sure