How Harry lost his virginity #2 - 50 Shades of Neigh 🐴

[SnottyLottie]

I’ve been asked to start a new thread 🐴 🐎

Part 1

She was probably sat there encouraging him.
Harold, don't forget when..... etc.

I was thinking maybe a cover of The Frog Chorus. We can call it The Seal Chorus and only need to change a few words. There can be lots of cute seals in the video.

Win or lose
Sink or swim
One thing is certain
We’ll never give in

Side by side
Hand in hand
We both lie together

Play the game
Fight the fight
There’s really no need
For us to get things right

Arm in Arm
Hand in hand
We both lie together

that's a sure fire number one

@MeghanAndTheSeals and @SingingWithSeals your Seal Chorus has been giving me an ear-worm this afternoon. I hope you don't mind that I've penned some B-side lyrics to the same tune.

Pa and Kate
Willy too
They are all poo-heads
Camilla's a shrew

Arm in arm
Hand in hand
They all leak together

Kate and Will
They made me
Dress as a Nazi
They did - honestly!

I have no
Agency
I'm not racist, never!

My poor peen
War it's seen
Circumsised, frostbitten
I blame the Queen

Horse lady
Popped my cherry
Behind pub in Wiltshire

Kate got mad
At my wife
Willy got angry
At baby brain spite

Dog bowl broke
It's no joke!
You all laugh, you effers!

Megs and me
Ran away
Whinging for money
Pays well in LA

Oprah, Coop
Like "our truth"
We truth bomb together

Sea-life loves
My Megsy
Willy's a baldy
Kate has jealousy

Baldy might
Get the crown
But I'm so much better

Seems he's a fan of the frog chorus too.

"He wrote: 'Late at night, with everyone asleep, I'd walk the house, checking the doors and windows.
'Then I'd sit on the balcony or the edge of the garden and roll a joint.
‘The house looked down onto a valley, across a hillside thick with frogs.
‘I’d listen to their late-night song, smell the scented air.’"

I did that. Not with Harry.

He says late night song. I say frog orgy. Relentless.

And the only dodgy joint I had was a dicky knee.

Has he got a beady on being David Attenborough’s successor do you think? Seems to be terribly at pains to point out his affinity with those who squeak and grunt and sing.

Dont look too close lest you see frog muff…🫣

@MoirasSaggyBundles - love it! Also, I clocked this on another thread, but was busy and didn’t reply. Then I saw it got zapped 😱. Good knows why. But would love to have you on board with the extended B-Side.

PS - I’d love to be in an 80’s band. I can just picture my big hair and the raunchy leather. Sadly, my voice is best used to clear a club at closing time 🤣

So the official translation was…

”A quick ride, after which she smacked my rump and sent me to graze”

😆🤣

Is that in the English version? Why did she send him to graze? Is that a euphemism?

Graze on grass. He lit up a spliff???

Or is that what he was talking about when he said he was treated like a stallion?

Graze on grass. He lit up a spliff???

Oooh maybe!

Sorry!

Full quote:

“She liked horses a lot and treated me not unlike a young stallion. A quick ride, after which she smacked my rump and sent me off to graze”

Also had a bit of a titter when Harry attempts to mimic a Scotsman called Sandy (even more hilarious when you hear him say it on the audiobook.

”nay lad, nay”

or

“neigh lad, neigh” 🐴🐴

Surely that’s just a figure of speech ( the smack on the rump and off to graze, just means a tap on the bum and left to go off on their own in the field) rather than an actual one ( unless you guys are right with the smoke) it’s all so weird isn’t it - there’s a certain morbid curiosity about the whole thing really, he was so liked and loved by most people and now…

I think you're right, @Trudij123 , it's just a somewhat clunky horse metaphor in the book because of the woman he was shagging's "horse loving" nature. I'm just having a laugh about spliffs as he admits to so much drug taking.

Yes, it's supposed to be a metaphor for 'gave me a smack and sent me away' (which is broadly what one of the translations from Spanish said, I think?

But I did have the 'grass' thought too, and let's face it, it certainly fits!

Do you get the impression that his ghostwriter didn't try to (or gave up trying to) intervene or offer any useful advice?

I get the impression the poor man lost the will to live long before the end.

Just a bit 😂

Love that. Very classy.

Maybe Harold has decided to immortalise his dick in print because he fears it's one of the organs they are planning to harvest should William ever be in need.

(I honestly think the most batshit claim in this batshit book is that Harold thinks he is a spare not in the sense of being a back-up in case William died but in the sense of being kept alive in case they need to strip him down for his spare parts to prevent William from dying. It's unhinged, and makes me think he's a drug-fried paranoiac.)

I don't think Harry has realised yet that his wedding reading was a message from the magic seals.

"Aunt Jane stood and gave a reading in honor of Mummy. Song of Solomon. Meg and I chose it.
Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away…
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm"

I read on a Reddit news sub that on Twitter someone had summed up Prince Harry as being “me me me me ME” and the tweet had been liked by the ghostwriter…

i don’t know whether that is true but if so, it’s quite amusing and telling

Who ya gonna call?

www.itv.com/news/anglia/2023-01-09/hungry-seal-obliterates-carp-and-bream-stocks-in-fishing-lake