Kate & Meghan relationship - Spare

[SnottyLottie]

So it look like the following Kate & Meghan tidbits have been released from Harry’s book.

They include:

• Meghan forgot to bring lipgloss to an event and asked to borrow Kate’s. Kate reluctantly obliged but pulled a disgusted face when she saw Meghan dabbed the gloss with her finger
• Kate told Meghan there was a problem with the bridesmaids’ dresses - said they were too big and Charlotte cried when she tried hers on - and was advised by her own fashion house/tailor that the dresses needed completely remaking (this is a week before the wedding). Meghan tried to solve the problem with the palace tailor - but the stress of the bridesmaid issues caused her to break down into tears. Harry also confirms that Kate later apologised and bought her flowers.
• Harry & Meghan seemed jealous that William & Kate’s house was decorated with priceless art and heirlooms whilst they had to furnish their house with IKEA furniture and buy items on Meghan’s credit card
• Kate seems to have assumed that Meghan was hinting that she wanted to use Kate’s connections in the fashion industry. This was a miscommunication as Meghan actually already had her own connections.
• William & Kate felt disgruntled that Harry & Meghan hadn’t sent them an Easter gift.
• Kate had forgotten something and Meghan told her not to worry about it because of pregnancy hormones. Kate said the two of them weren’t close enough to talk about her hormones - Meghan said this is a comment she would make to her own friends - William points his finger at Meghan and tells her “these things aren’t done here” which Meghan didn’t take well

Most of it seems pretty petty (from both sides) to be honest. Although I think I would pull a face if someone fingered my lipgloss. But yeah, just two women, completely different backgrounds and personalities, having minor disputes and realising they’re not compatible with each other.

The only other thing I thought is perhaps the animosity is more between William & Meghan, and Harry and Kate are siding with their partners?

I am of the opinion that only the people who know what actually happened in a private conversation are those involved. Even if they relayed what happened immediately after, there will often be 2 different versions of the same conversation.

I don’t like my ex sister in law. There are so many spiteful, petty things she’s said and done over the years. I might mention them anonymously on here but I’d never announce them in public.

I am snickering at ‘fingered (her) lipgloss.’

You do understand you are only reading a one sided account?

Tbh it sounds like (from the various articles) they've tried to make Kate sound frosty/stuck up but there's not really anything there as she's done nothing wrong really. Different people, different backgrounds, different personalities so they don't really get on.

The worst they have is the bridesmaids dress thing but even that is a whole load of nothing. You could just as easily take that as Kate being helpful - if the dress was a dreadful fit and Charlotte was crying at the fitting then there'd be a real risk of her being upset at the wedding and causing a scene, cos toddlers do that sort of shit. Meghan gets upset cos it's close to the wedding and she's stressed, Kate takes flowers to smooth over even though she didn't really do anything wrong. Hardly bitch of the year

We are only hearing Meghans version, I’m sure Kates would be very different

I feel like this is private information that we shouldn't be privy to and I hate that I clicked on this link. Not everyone is going to get on. Not everyone is going to like me and I'm fine with that. It's all very strange and childish.

It just seems crazy that this is everything (at least from Harry’s - and I guess Meghan’s - account) about the relationship. Yet there was the whole ‘duelling duchesses’ narrative being peddled in the media and causing a frenzy. Over what? Meghan used Kate’s lipgloss and Kate grimaced. Just seems so petty and pointless.

Hang on....so even when a book is released solely by a man, discussing mainly the relationship with his dad, his brother and (to some extent) their respective partners, it still has to come down to woman vs woman?

Can't we just leave M and K bashing/pitting head to head for one day?

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Is anyone Meghan and Kate bashing here? I’ve took tidbits from Harry’s book about Meghan and Kate’s relationship and how small and petty and their arguments have been it’s almost a non-story. And yet the media made out like there was a big fall our prior to the Sussexs’ leaving the RF.l and pushed the ‘duelling duchesses’ narrative on us.

And other posters have politely reminded us that this is only one side of the story, which is also good to remember.

buy items on Meghan’s credit card

Dumb question from a non-British person. Is the credit card detail important, as opposed to whose credit card it was? Whenever I buy furniture it goes on my credit card. Is Harry saying that they didn't have the cash to buy furniture and would have to pay it off over time?

Didn’t Omid Scobie say that Meghan chucked the flowers from Kate in the bin?
Funny that Harry didn’t mention that bit

I am intrigued. How would you use someone else s lip gloss? I would have dabbed or squeezed some on my finger too. I won't be smearing someone else's wand (fnar fnar) all over my mouth would I?

This all confirms the source that said that K and M are just very different people.

I hate that all this is out and being discussed and nobody other than a select few have read it in full!

Everybody is reading what’s in the tabloids. That’s not an accurate assessment of anything.

I would say read the book and make your own judgements of what Harry is saying from his side.

tabloids are filled with bias, after seeing how they treated Meghan I won’t be listening to anything they write any more. I’m neither for or against H&M but I wont be trusting a tabloid as far as I can throw it!

If this the worst that they can pin on Kate (from the pen of someone who is gunning for the royal family) it sounds like she has done absolutely nothing wrong.

One minute she was the sister Harry never had, next she’s been portrayed as cold and unfriendly for not gleefully sharing her lipgloss.

Poor woman. I keep remembering how she was the only one who walked with Harry after Prince Phillip’s funeral.

I thought the same thing!

I wouldn’t have used someone else’s lipgloss. It’s an odd thing to ask for.

Is he trying to pin anything on Kate, though? Or is he trying to deflate the “duelling duchesses” narrative and just show the basic everyday interactions behind the scenes, Vs the tabloid version? Because nothing in these anecdotes suggests he has a problem with Kate: his beef has always been the media and the royals’ relationship with the media.

I'm in UK and even if we had the savings to buy outright we'd likely buy with credit card for additional protection.

If we hadn't the savings so we could pay it off over a few months. We did without things for years - getting it bit by bit - most of my family did this as well or got gifted second hand - our working class parents impressed to us that the way to do it not get into debt.

I remember my parents after shopping round for months in high street for odd household item would sometime ask if they could get an additional discount if they paid cash in store - and sometimes they got one but that was early 80s - but even they haven't done that for decades.

So I don't get what he's trying to say here - is it a reference to this ?

TIL British minister Alan Clark once dismissed his colleague Michael Heseltine as the kind of person "who bought his own furniture" (as opposed to someone with 'breeding' who inherits furniture).

This all confirms the source that said that K and M are just very different people.

This is my take as well.

Harry certainly hasn’t cast Kate in a positive light: Kate demanding an apology for babybrain comment. Kate demanding bridesmaid dress redone and making Meghan cry. Why even mention that she pulled a face about the lipgloss, and then go on to say she spoilt a moment they should all have been laughing at.

All so petty, but it feeds into their narrative that she’s uptight and cold and unwelcoming to Meghan.

Where are his positive comments, eg about her walking with him after Phillip’s funeral.

Surely the whole point of a bridesmaids dress fitting is to see if they fit, if they don't then they are altered. I can't see (from the limited information we have) why this turned into such an issue.

But how do you do that without the end of the lipgloss touching your finger?

Yeah like PPs mentioned I wouldn't have asked to share someone else's lip gloss. The Queen carried a tube of lipstick in that handbag of hers. Even young teens carry around their own lip care and don't feel the need to share something so intimate.

Probably a laugh when you are 12 or 13 and mucking around with friends and experimenting with eye shadow palattes. But at 40 ...not so much.

Asking to use someone's very personal makeup is just odd. This is one among many odd things from Harry's memoir. It feels like a fever dream.

None of that is that bad. Mostly personality/culture clash. Neither Kate or Meghan come that badly out of it.

However the media did make it into a "war". They pitted them against each other AND made the public pick a side. The cynic in me believes that was quite deliberate. Given the headlines and the effects of them, they just exacerbated a natural rift . Whatever Meghan said got twisted, exaggerated and used as further proof of how awful she is. Kate's silence instead was dignified ,a "response" and at the same time confirming Meghan was lying. That is of course the way of the Royal Family , but I think Harry took it personally Kate never clarified that the incidents were small or simple misunderstandings. In his eyes, that made her complicit in the media bullying, which is daft of course as Kate is definitely part of the institution and he and Meghan are not that special to go against everything she knew.

Then it all boiled over in this complete clusterfuck.

I’m with Kate on the lipgloss thing. Even if you use your finger, unless I’ve seen you sanitise your hands religiously, I don’t want your potentially manky fingers touching something that will be touching my lips. I’d have grimaced too. But it’s still such a non issue.

The only thing I would consider an issue is the bridesmaid dresses. But I can also see it from the point of view that Kate has mum stress (especially with a crying bridesmaid and having to deal with a newborn - I think Louis was less than a month old at the time of the wedding) and Meghan had wedding stress (having to plan the perfect wedding for the whole world to see) I can imagine it doesn’t take a lot for it to be blown out of proportion. But again, Kate took accountability and apologised and Meghan accepted it and said she did everything that she herself would have done in the same situation.