Kate & Meghan relationship - Spare

[SnottyLottie]

So it look like the following Kate & Meghan tidbits have been released from Harry’s book.

They include:

• Meghan forgot to bring lipgloss to an event and asked to borrow Kate’s. Kate reluctantly obliged but pulled a disgusted face when she saw Meghan dabbed the gloss with her finger
• Kate told Meghan there was a problem with the bridesmaids’ dresses - said they were too big and Charlotte cried when she tried hers on - and was advised by her own fashion house/tailor that the dresses needed completely remaking (this is a week before the wedding). Meghan tried to solve the problem with the palace tailor - but the stress of the bridesmaid issues caused her to break down into tears. Harry also confirms that Kate later apologised and bought her flowers.
• Harry & Meghan seemed jealous that William & Kate’s house was decorated with priceless art and heirlooms whilst they had to furnish their house with IKEA furniture and buy items on Meghan’s credit card
• Kate seems to have assumed that Meghan was hinting that she wanted to use Kate’s connections in the fashion industry. This was a miscommunication as Meghan actually already had her own connections.
• William & Kate felt disgruntled that Harry & Meghan hadn’t sent them an Easter gift.
• Kate had forgotten something and Meghan told her not to worry about it because of pregnancy hormones. Kate said the two of them weren’t close enough to talk about her hormones - Meghan said this is a comment she would make to her own friends - William points his finger at Meghan and tells her “these things aren’t done here” which Meghan didn’t take well

Most of it seems pretty petty (from both sides) to be honest. Although I think I would pull a face if someone fingered my lipgloss. But yeah, just two women, completely different backgrounds and personalities, having minor disputes and realising they’re not compatible with each other.

The only other thing I thought is perhaps the animosity is more between William & Meghan, and Harry and Kate are siding with their partners?

I wouldn't ask to borrow someone s lipgloss let along dip my finger on it. Fingers and hands have all sorts of bacteria on them. Hasn't a bloody pandemic shown us that. Then to use it on my lips. Nope. Bin it

This is all really minor stuff. I’m sure the bridesmaids dress thing felt like a big deal at the time, with one about to have a wedding watched by millions, and one with a stressed out 3 year old bridesmaid. Even a normal family wedding has these kind of stresses though, if you’re lucky an apology comes at some point and people make up.

You’d read far far worse about SILs if you spend 5 mins on mumsnet.

It’s hardly newsworthy Harry.

Yes precisely, who knows what someone thinks about someone else borrowing their lipstick apart from the lipstick owner.

also, who the fuck gives Easter presents, so that seems unlikely

And yet the media found so incredibly newsworthy they churned several headlines related to it and started the while shit show.

I love MY SILs but no way would I lend my lip gloss to them, I don't share any makeup

The wedding thing is classic wedding related stress - see various MN posts!

I hope somewhere along the line he talks of better times and his fondness for Kate.

There’s rather a few people here on Mumsnet that need an enormous wooden spoon!!Yet another pointless speculative thread about the Royals,what is wrong with you OP that you need to start more stirring.Yet another thread to hide......so tiresome.If it was new information it might be interesting,but it is the same s*e over and over!!

From all the stories that have come out over the last few years, William being a controlling asshole seems to have been brushed under the carpet.

The only interesting thing about all this is how much detail there is. Seriously how many of posters' DH/DP would remember so many precise little details about interactions between their wives and SiLs?

On the topic of "Recollections may vary" my DH quite often remembers things that never happened. I literally can't watch Nigella on TV because whenever she is on he "remembers" that I made her ham boiled in Coca-Cola. Reader I have NEVER made ham or any other gruesome dish boiled in Coca-Cola. I NEVER have and NEVER would. Yet he will swear I did and use it as evidence of me copying Nigella. I have no idea why he does this but it drives me nuts.

I just offer this anecdote by way of pointing out that I don't believe Harry would remember all these minutiae. Whether someone else would, and that someone would proffer an "aide memoire" to help the ghost writer in his job is anyone's guess.

Yet you felt so strongly about the matter that you needed to comment on it. Oh well, off you go 🙂

I’ve said from day one that this whole debacle is mostly down to Meghan and Kate disliking each other. Meghan (understandably, and I am no fan of hers) was not wanting to play second fiddle to a woman she couldn’t stand, and then the fuse was lit when Pater stopped funding them and they realised how much security was going to cost them.

My suspicion about the easter gift thing is that they showed up without eggs for the children

These people are stark raving mad: The Duchess of Sussex kneeled and put her palms on the grave of Diana, Princess of Wales and asked her for “clarity and guidance” on the 20th anniversary of her death, the Duke of Sussex has said.

Did you know you can just hide threads, even entire forums? It’s really easy :)

Going to your own parent's grave and "asking" for advice - not that odd, more of a way of connecting with a loved one whose advice you miss

Asking the grave of someone you have never met for advice - fucking weird

I’m at a loss as to why they’ve published such minutiae. It’s absolutely the stuff you’d read on here, but anonymously. “AIBU to be annoyed that my daughters bridesmaids dress doesn’t fit?” “SIL was offended by baby brain comment. WIBU?”

Jesus wept

The most pretty thing is publishing these private interactions as gossip fodder for the world. Harold the big mouth gossip.

I think it's more about Harry having a huge chip on his shoulder, and then William really not liking Meghan at all. And M apparently being rude and abrasive.

The - it seems relatively minor - issues between K&M - only really mattered because they served to further agitate their already agitated husbands. In the context of a stable sibling relationship they'd just have been two SIL who were very different but maintained a civil relationship. Even if M is rude and K colder than a freezer, most families would just smile in front of gritted teeth and get on with it.

As many people have already said - the lipgloss thing is rather gross. I thought everyone knew that you shouldn't really share make up like that for hygiene reasons.
Also, re the bridesmaid dresses, Kate would have known the scrutiny on the day and the need for everyone to look their best. Both she and Eugenie made sure their bridesmaids all looked lovely - as another poster has already said... the clue is in the name 'fitting' and there is a problem if the dress doesn't fit (truth be told, I don't think Meghan's fitted hers particularly well but it seems that is the vibe they were going for).
I think Harry is clutching at straws trying to make Kate look frosty and aloof and he and Meghan the welcoming, open and down to earth couple who were shunned and isolated for no apparent reason. It shows a distinct lack of self awareness.

I just offer this anecdote by way of pointing out that I don't believe Harry would remember all these minutiae.

If he's been obsessing about situations - going over in his head how wrong was done to him - he might well remember a lot - going over things make memories more permanent.

Though I agree what people remember does vary a lot - I and one of my DC have very good episodic memories -remember how and where we learnt a fact. DH and MIL - have the opposite - it can be quite a shock to encounter as they don't seem to realise it - and you get facts and stories you've told back to you and they'll argue it wasn't you. I've also witnessed evolution of FIL anecdotes over the years - that's been quite special.

Memory is really strange - plus any prompting the brain often fills in any blanks with person not really being aware- it's partly why eye witness accounts can be so unreliable.

"Recollections may vary" is spot on is so many way.

I'd never share a lipgloss and definitely never when pregnant due to HSV.

If the bridesmaid dresses didn't fit, why wouldn't you say something? I don't get why that was a problem?
M says K didn't make herself available for refitting but not sure if that is true and surely they would already have had the measurements anyway?
I don't think its hygienic to share lip gloss and it does show M as acting too informally at times. Also, doesn't she have her makeup friend with her at all times?
Baby brain comment is just rude and makes K look stupid.

Why did they have to use Meghan's credit card for furniture anyway? Couldn't Harry afford to pay?

Kate is clearly close to Sophie and the kids spend time with James and Louise.
They are also close to Zara and Mike and their kids. Also Peter's kids - you can see pictures of George playing with them.
So not true that W&K don't get on with his cousins. B&E have younger children so that may play a part in it. Also Zara is closer in age to W &K.