Lap dances, strippers and punch-ups - the Excellent Cats arrange a stag party

[TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne]

Well, the boys among them are making plans.

The lady cats are having a spa fortnight in Italy.

Bills for flights, accommodation, food, booze, medical insurance and legal fees (not to mention a fund for bribing officials at Ljubljana Prison) are allegedly being sent to an unmonitored email address.

They’ve all been there! I’m sure the others will all sympathise.

OMG I'm so ashamed.

The heating engineer came today to check a radiator that wasn't working.

The cat litter tray is situated right beside this particular radiator.

The man was leaning over to look at the dials on the radiator, when Gizmo decided to pop into the litter tray to have his morning shit.

He was right underneath where the man was leaning over. It goes without saying that after making his noisome deposit, Gizmo then spent an extended period of time digging away industriously to cover his offering. Of course the litter went everywhere and the smell was horrific.

I didn't know where to look.

But in other news, the radiator has now been fixed.

Another day hard at work making bold and inspired edits.

Kettle needs to be promoted.

I can't argue with the brilliance of his ideas, but his stamina is appalling. He put in a solid 15 minutes before he left to find a sunbeam to snooze in.

I've let him know that if he can stick it out a bit longer a bonus could be on the cards.

It takes extended naps contemplation to be that brilliant. Is he in a Union? Bonus is most definitely already earned!

Cats definitely need to unionise. Demand the right to a 5 hour work week on full pay, with unlimited paid leave in case of inclement weather and a stipulated minimum Dreamies-per-day.

That's pretty much how I feel after 15 minutes of dealing with the idiots I work with.

He achieved in 15 minutes what a more mediocre mind would take hours to do, and shows his disdain for the workplace culture of presenteeism over actual achievement. Give the cat a bonus!

Actually, I think Kettle has proved the MN belief that the majority of people who WFH just pretend to put the hours in.

I bet when he isn't asleep, he goes and puts a load of washing on, collects a load of kittens from school and pops down to the gym.

He may even have a very young kitten at home with him, because he doesn't want to pay nursery fees.

🤣🤣

Hey now @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne I work from home!!! Although most of your points are actually valid in my case because I don't have enough work to do and I am fed up of shouting into the void that I want and need more to do. I don't have any small people here that I am looking after though, just the cats.

Speaking of cat, the turquoise lump is Vixen, burrowing down to sleep. She has pushed into Frankie and made him move. However, if any cat dares to even touch her blanket covered self, she growls, hisses and swears at them. I have tried explaining that she can't treat them one way and expect to be treated differently but she ignored me.

Kitty’s up for that. She set the example with her photoshoot by dictating location & wages.

I tried to inspire Kettle by playing him The Internationale but he didn't like the bit about arising from slumber.

I was working from home this morning but I was under the watch of a very judgemental supervisor so I didn’t dare slack off.

When I went to the toilet she even followed me to make sure I wasn’t in there for longer than strictly necessary.

@RumNotRun I didn't say that I thought those who WFH do bugger all - just that most of MN seems to think so. I reckon most people are very productive.

Came back from shopping to find a cat on my seat.

So I asked him to move.......

Then we had a serious conversation about my favourite seat

I'm not getting through to him, am I?

He does look in the 3rd pic as if he’s listening, but I think he’s rejecting your argument.

Have you tried bribery?

I think you mean your former favourite seat.

I have a similar discussion most days with Raven but thankfully she's a big softie so I can just pick her up and move her, with no risk to limb or life.

Cocoa is starting in the post room. Not quite sure she quite has the hang of it yet …..

The others won’t get out of bed for anything less than graduate roles.

What are their degrees in? Kettle has an MS in ornithology and does some part-time work observing the local bird population. For research purposes.