Tales and Tails and NMCs - the Excellent Cats March On

[TheShellBeach]

Join us as 2024 starts and our cats continue to run our lives for us.

Captain Lenny.

Where is his maiden voyage going to?

Fixed that for you Grumpy 😂

I was hoping someone would have the skills to do that.

Aye aye, Cap'n!

Genius 🤣🤣🤣

Minouche got into bed this morning wetter than an otter's pocket. So that was nice

Oh come on @TheShellBeach, what's his name? Picard. He beamed in, obviously. Now all you have to do is find where they've concealed the teleport pad.

Cats can teleport without technology.

As a scientist, this is the only explanation I can think of for how Midnight could materialise next to me in approx 1 second if I opened a fridge with chicken in it.

Cats can teleport without technology.
Agreed. I've also observed that they can teleport while asleep, moving effortlessly from one seat to another yet remaining in exactly the same curled up position.

Leroy's a big lad, you can hear him jump off something anywhere in the house. Teleportation is the only explanation for his ability to materialise silently behind you in the kitchen. And giving you a fricking heart attack in the process.

Tbf Grumpy, three of your cats are pretty similar when curled up asleep... you sure it's not your eyesight? 😜😁

Tbf Grumpy, three of your cats are pretty similar when curled up asleep... you sure it's not your eyesight?

That is an OUTRAGEOUS ACCUSATION!!

As evidence - last night Basil was curled up asleep on a chair in the living room. Mrs Grumpy was asleep in another. Ten minutes later Mrs G woke up and asked where the Basil curled up asleep on her lap had come from. I tell you teleportation is the ONLY possibility. 🤣

Ugh.

Half an hour ago, Linney appeared at the window, with a mouse in his mouth.

So I (not unnaturally) told Mr SB not to let him in.

A nano-second later, Linney and the mouse were in the sitting room with us.

Another nano-second later, I ordered Mr SB to get the mouse out of the house.

I may also have called Mr SB an opprobrious epithet.

Ever my knight and protector, Mr SB picked up the mouse and put it in the front garden.

Linney is still in the house, and still looking for it.

Did Mr SB claim Linney had teleported in, with the mouse in his mouth?

No. He claimed he hadn't heard me scream:

"OMG Look at Linney! I can see him through the window with a massive rat in his mouth! FGS don't let him in!"

Ooh Shell - I've got a husband with selective hearing too! Is there a cure?

(@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats - tbf you also said my artwork was impressive so your eyesight's clearly not that brilliant 😂)

Wondering if sitting on the top of the chair will help him to locate the mouse

I've had to make a crash mat for Vixen as she's taken to sleeping on the mantel. She sleeps very soundly and often falls off the arm of the sofa/end of the bed/balustrade etc. I have a thick slate hearth so had visions of her getting really hurt so there is now a pile of cushions and blankets to break her (inevitable) fall.

Cats are Time Lords. Of course they can teleport.

This solves the Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment.

As soon as Schrodinger closes the box, the cat teleports the hell out of there.

I've always liked Terry Pratchett's take on Schrodinger's cat.
'In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat
could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.'

Ah, there was a man who knew his cats.

Havelock’s just teleported out of here with technical assistance from my 🥾.

Stole Prince’s supper in one mouthful.

I know nothing about Marvel films, but I did see an advert for something about a cat called Goose... Goose eats the words off the screen by growing tentacles and slurping them up. I just pictured Havelock devouring Prince's supper in a similar fashion 😂

Havelock is currently tentacle-ing the replacement supper.

Lovely fluffy black tentacles like feather boas. Leroy ought to get some, very this season.

This is one of the contenders (out of 7) for the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square.
It would get my vote. 😁