Dd threw the kitten.... where to go from here?

[bobndave]

Hi! Opinions please as I'm feeling really upset and guilty about this. I'm a single mum with a dd(6) and we've quite recently got a kitten after having a pair of old cats for most of her life so far. I'd have said that she was gentle and loves animals. She's a well behaved child, no issues.
Tonight though, the kitten did something that annoyed her..... stood on her picture leaving a little paw print on it. When she discovered it a few minutes later, even though the kitten was nowhere near the picture by this time, she scooped the kitten up and threw it across the room. The kitten is fine but has made a puddle near the door, presumably in fright?

Now, I know this is the season for bad behaviour as they're tired and over excited but this has really crossed a line for me. I've taken away her iPad and given a big lecture but where do I go from here? Constant supervision until she's 18? More punishment? Or just accept that she's young and needs more teaching about how to be with animals?
Would appreciate all views and have my hard hat firmly on.... thanks!!

As a cat lover I am appalled you even have to ask this question. Quite aside from the behavioural issues this raises with your 6-year old, the poor cat should be rehomed as soon as possible. No questions, just do it!!! Your DD needs to know the consequences of this behaviour. There is a strong link between hurting animals and hurting other human beings, how is her behaviour otherwise?

Some (a lot) of the replies in this are ridiculous! Rehome the kitten tonight?! It's 9pm and the kid is in bed what harm is going to come of it.

I also think a lot of people forget the mental things kittens do! Mine climbed every height he could find when he was little and would throw himself down. Always been fine.

Yes OP, DD was wrong and you as a parent know how to deal with that. I would limit her access until she understands what she has done could have made the kitten either very poorly or killed it. And then only allow supervised access. Please don't let everybody here make you feel bad. I love my cat like he is my own baby but some people have been very harsh.

@TellingBone

My neighbour did this with her son after he kicked their labrador in anger. The son was distraught, learnt his lesson and never hurt the dog again.

Not an animal but when I was younger, my mum pretended to phone the holiday company to cancel our holiday because I wouldn't take my medicine. I apologized, promised to take the medicine and followed through with that promise. I finished that course of disgusting tasting medicine and never refused to take it again.

So a short, sharp shock in this way works.

@kurrikurri

It’s incredible isn’t it?

And MN doesn’t think there is an anti-autism problem on this site?

The autism comments made by @supersimkins2 are made on a regular basis on other threads.

Autistic person = violent, psychopathic sub-human in the minds of a frightening number posters on this site.

There are some totally batshit responses on here .

I think some posters are enjoying a good old froth

You need to keep the kitten away from your dd and mn should delete the shitty autism apologists post

Poor kitten. He needs to go to a home that he is not scared in.

Your child cannot be trusted to be kind, so you need to protect the kitten. She could have killed him

You may find this article of interest

www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-human-equation/201104/children-who-are-cruel-animals-when-worry%3famp

OP, you have punished your child and the kitten is fine. There is no immediate need to rehome the kitten. You have explained to your daughter why she mustn't do it again. You seem a good mother. Your child is probably fine and has, I hope, learnt that she should be kind. Put it behind you and have a nice Christmas.

Most sensible post on the thread. Six year olds make mistakes, and they act without thinking. Have a look at how siblings of that age can act towards each other.

Also, for everyone saying the cat is most likely badly injured, kittens and cats are extremely hardy. They are a species whose main activities are jumping from heights and hunting. I don't want to minimise it but I'd be surprised if a kitten was injured this way - they are so lightweight and strong such a thing wouldn't hurt them. If you think human siblings are bad, watch some kitten litter mates playing!

if the animal had gone for your daughter would you be rehoming it? i would hope you show the kittens welfare the same safety you would your daughter and not put it in a position where its frightened and unsure of its safety.

Sadly some people, of all ages, dislike animals. We had neighbours who put poison in their garden because they hated cats so much that they wanted to discourage them from going anywhere near their house. Ops dd sounds like she isn’t an animal lover or she would not have reacted how she did. So for this reason op should not have a pet because chances are this won’t be the last time the kitten will get hurt. As dd gets older she will just be cleverer at doing things out of sight.

We are talking about a 6 year old here not a psychopathic murderer. Of course what happened is dreadful and the cat is extremely lucky to have escaped serious injury or worse but 6 year olds can resort to pretty grim behaviour at times especially if over excited or exhausted.

I’m not trying to excuse what happened and the poor kitten cannot be left alone with OPs DD but just as she would have to learn that you can’t lash out at a baby or toddler brother or sister when they do something annoying , she needs teaching about respect, responsibility and gentle hands at all times when she is around the kitten. DD constantly has to remind DGD that her baby sister has feelings even though she’s tiny and she doesn’t want to be squeezed or be poked in the eye. That she’s not a toy she’s a very small person with strong feelings just like she has.

I don’t think any more punishment is needed. Just extreme vigilance and encouragement to be a good pet owner.

I also think a lot of people forget the mental things kittens do But when you have a kitten, it i simportant to stress to your kids that kittnes can do silly unpredictable things like run across your artwork with muddy paws etc This should not take you buy surprise if you decide to own a kitten.

I bet this kitten didn't come from a responsible rescue.

@ilovesooty painfully obvious isnt it, sadly

Yeah hundreds of posters all piling on to say exactly the same thing. And children are no more evil or bad than kittens by the way. Compassion should be shown to both.

Is there anything she could have been watching on her IPAD that would encourage her to do this ? How much experience has she had with animals generally?

I would take the kitten to a vet tomorrow, and then I would rehome.
That's not normal behaviour. 6 is old enough to know not to do that to anyone, let alone a defenceless kitten.
Sorry you're going through this, but the only way she will learn is to take the kitten away from her and put it in a loving home.

got a kitten after having a pair of old cats for most of her life

They had cats before so no excuse to throw this poor animal for being a cat

If I saw a kitten being thrown a metre and landing on its paws it wouldn’t occur to me to take it to the vets, that’s just mental. A lot of crazy animal people on Mumsnet!

I hate the thought of rehoming a pet, but in this case I think it would be a good idea. Outline the reasons why and let your DD know there are consequences to actions. The kitten doesn’t need to be rehomed in a hurry, which will give you time to find somebody suitable and keep an eye on the situation in the meantime. You can then work on developing your DD’s kindness and compassion for animals when you are there to supervise - maybe getting her involved in helping/looking after a friend’s pet or visiting an animal shelter/charity. Then try again with another pet in a few years time x

Rehome the kitten, before she kills it.

that's horrible, really appalling.
i'd come down on her like a ton of bricks over this.

I think this thread should be deleted people are making hysterical and some worrying statements about a child

OP 6 year olds do not have full consequential thinking and empathy. It was an impulsive way of showing anger nothing more sinister. Rehome the cat if you are going to be worried or stressed but dont let people on the thread make you worry about your child.

Bjorksswandress
”We are talking about a 6 year old here not a psychopathic murderer.”

Thank god for a sensible post! You’ve summed it up so well.
These posts about children wanting to harm animals??? She acted out of anger - and NO this isn’t right, therefore - as a child - she can be taught empathy and kindness towards animals and face consequences if it happens again.

I hope Mumsnet take this thread down. Some of the replies are so awful and vicious. "Rehome the child".

What part of the country are you in OP? I could be interested in a kitten, depending on its age. But wherever, it sounds good advice to remove the kitten from your home for its own safety.