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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Dd threw the kitten.... where to go from here?

246 replies

bobndave · 19/12/2019 19:27

Hi! Opinions please as I'm feeling really upset and guilty about this. I'm a single mum with a dd(6) and we've quite recently got a kitten after having a pair of old cats for most of her life so far. I'd have said that she was gentle and loves animals. She's a well behaved child, no issues.
Tonight though, the kitten did something that annoyed her..... stood on her picture leaving a little paw print on it. When she discovered it a few minutes later, even though the kitten was nowhere near the picture by this time, she scooped the kitten up and threw it across the room. The kitten is fine but has made a puddle near the door, presumably in fright?

Now, I know this is the season for bad behaviour as they're tired and over excited but this has really crossed a line for me. I've taken away her iPad and given a big lecture but where do I go from here? Constant supervision until she's 18? More punishment? Or just accept that she's young and needs more teaching about how to be with animals?
Would appreciate all views and have my hard hat firmly on.... thanks!!

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 19/12/2019 21:06

Even if you do rehome the kitten, how will that help your dd?

Quite frankly that would be of secondary importance to me. My absolute priority would be to help the poor kitten by rehoming it to somewhere it would be safe. Six years old is certainly old enough to know that injuring a tiny animal is completely unacceptable.

lunar1 · 19/12/2019 21:06

The right thing to do is regime your cat, she deserves better.

You need to talk to your dd, and to her school. I don't know a single child that would deliberately hurt an animal at that age. I'd keep a good dialogue with school about her behaviour with friends.

She may need help learning empathy, it isn't instinctive in everyone. I'd probably have a low threshold for taking her to the GP.

TellingBone · 19/12/2019 21:06

I'd also maybe frighten her. Tell her that the kitten is going to be rehomed. Over the next day or two have a couple of pretend conversations with the people wanting to adopt it. Bag up the kitten's stuff ready to leave etc and once she is looking really remorseful and you know it is sincere then let her know that it was all pretend but if it happens again the kitten WILL be going to someone who can treat it nicely.

Way to send a message that you don't carry through with discipline. Hmm

OP I truly don't know what I'd do. It's worrying behaviour in a child of that age. I hope you are able to find a way.

Whatnameisgood · 19/12/2019 21:07

You need to rehome the kittten. I would be shocked if my 4 year old did that, let alone a 6 year old. By all means have a good chat to find out what else is going on but the kitten needs to be protected and your DD needs to understand and receive the ultimate penalty in this regard. You don’t even need to do it in a ‘you’re such a naughty girl and you will be punished’ kind of way. It’s just very matter of fact ‘you hurt kitten, kitten can’t stay’

chillykiwi · 19/12/2019 21:07

I'm sure I've seen a thread like this before, might be worth doing a search OP.

furrymulesandPJs · 19/12/2019 21:08

To those saying "slap the child"- how will that improve her behaviour? If a child has potentially been violent or angry then they are not the sort of child that should be slapped. It will ikely make her more angry and possibly breed resentment in her. So if she doesn't have real emotional issues now, she may likely well do in future if she is slapped. She is old enough to be reasoned with. Kind gentle but firm behaviour will set an example for her.

FWIW, I don't believe any child shoudl be slapped or hit. That does not set a good example.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 19/12/2019 21:08

The delightful thing about cats though is they know what things you don't want them to sit on......and make it their sole purpose to do just that.

My female cat sits on my arm when I use my computer , or my mouse , or wedges herself between me and the screen till I stroke her .
So £ to a penny the kitten WILL go for her paper again.
And what will be her reaction?

There was a story in the news a while ago where a man threw one of his kids' guinea-pigs against a shed door and killed it . Irritated by a tiny defenceless rodent .

Prevegen4U · 19/12/2019 21:09

So the kitten wasn't thrown across the room but 39 inches/3 feet?

ElluesPichulobu · 19/12/2019 21:11

the kitten must be rehomed. that is far more important than the issue of how to discipline your daughter as the kitten is in immediate physical danger.

Scautish · 19/12/2019 21:14

@supersimpkin2

Sorry, hurting animals is really not a good sign. They hurt people too. Ignore the autism apologists and vegan bingo galz

What the fuck has this got to do with autism?

Your comment on punishing the 6 year old child by hurting her and terrifying is abhorrent and indefensible. But so is your utter ignorance and prejudice against autistic people.

It’s people like you who make the world a far far worse place than it should be.

saraclara · 19/12/2019 21:14

I was initially horrified. But if it was genuinely a metre at most, that really isn't 'across the room'. So where I was about to say 'rehome', now I'm not so sure.
You've really not helped yourself by exaggerating in your OP.

On the other hand are you being honest about the metre?

Prevegen4U · 19/12/2019 21:15

As a PP said a cat/kitten can jump and land 3 feet with no problem. I think it must have been as you said in your OP, a violent throw from across the room. It had to be to make the kitten release it's poor little bladder.

TARSCOUT · 19/12/2019 21:16

That is absolutely shocking behaviour, she actively went looking for the kitten to hurt it? What is there to think about? I would be seriously concerned at this behaviour., I think you need to rehome the kitten and seek help for your Dd. I actually can't believe anyone needs to tell you this!

furrymulesandPJs · 19/12/2019 21:16

I remember at age 4 or 5 , another child in my class at school got into my personal space and ruined a plasticine model I was making. I tried to stab her with my scissors! I was not thinking of killing her or damaging her in any way, but she got in my face and ruined my work. (I was a very perfectionst, persnickety kid, and still hate anyone getting in my face or thing sbeing messed up). Yeah, what I did was very very bad and naughty but I did not turn into a sociopath. I will say I have always had a low tolerance for sny frustration and stress, but my empathy levels are just fine!

What am trying to say is this is an impulse control issue in kids this age (not all kids but some). No, am not excusing either my behaviour at that age or the OP's child but I really do think this is more about learning what is appropriate or not.

Having said that. a little kitten could be in danger if something like this were to happen again. I would say if the DD puts a foot wrong with this kitty in any way, then it needs to be rehomed. Poor little thing.

viccat · 19/12/2019 21:18

When people complain why charities don't like to rehome animals to families with young children, this is exactly why... Kids are unpredictable and this sort of a thing happens!

OP, please don't follow the advice to rehome kitten immediately, you have to do it responsibly or he could end up in a much, much worse place. Definitely don't do it through Facebook or online in general. Contact cat rescues and do it responsibly.

furrymulesandPJs · 19/12/2019 21:18

70isaLimitNotaTarget

Oh, I wanted to weep reading that. Poor little guinea pig!!! I have 3 beautiful piggies (kept piggies all my life) and the thought of anyone hurting them makes me want to cry.

KurriKurri · 19/12/2019 21:19

Ignore the autism apologists
WTF do you mean by autism apologist ?

HisBetterHalf · 19/12/2019 21:19

Rehome the child

furrymulesandPJs · 19/12/2019 21:19

viccat Yes, especially at this time of year. So many parents impulsively buying kittens and puppies etc as presents for Christmas.

Tellmemaa · 19/12/2019 21:19

I would be absolutely livid.
Rehome the poor thing. As PP have said, you can’t watch your DD with the cat constantly.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 19/12/2019 21:23

My friends little boy is 3 - he's non verbal & has some kind of behavioural difficulties.
When he saw my cat he deliberately threw things at her despite me telling him off & explaining that cats get scared & it could hurt her... sadly he seemed then to want to hurt her!!So I will not allow him near my cat now.
Unfortunately the family have a big dog & im sure this boy will be badly bitten one day which will sadly have consequences for the dog.

Ooh, just when I thought the 'a small child needs to know fear and pain' was going to win psychopath of the thread, here comes someone else who seems to hope that an actual fucking toddler - a toddler who seems to have SEN - gets badly bitten by a dog, except for the consequences of that for the poor dog of course

LazyFace · 19/12/2019 21:25

This thread should be closed down.

The poster recommending psychological terror and the others making an assessment based on ONE act of a 6 year old...

Absolutely ridiculous!

Getitwright · 19/12/2019 21:25

You need to teach her that living creatures feel pain. Ask her what happens if she falls down on a hard surface (pain) and try to get her to understand that this is what she has done to the kitten. Think a stage further.......imagine a tiny baby spoiling her picture, would she throw this as well? Imagine her attacking another child at school? She needs to understand that she has done something very very bad.

I wouldn’t trust her around animals. It will end badly for her or an animal if she doesn’t learn quickly.

gypsywater · 19/12/2019 21:25

@LisaSimpsonsbff I think you have (deliberately) misread what the PP meant there Hmm

LisaSimpsonsbff · 19/12/2019 21:26

Nothing terrifies me more than people who go on about their love for animals but who have no empathy for people.

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