Dd threw the kitten.... where to go from here?

[bobndave]

Hi! Opinions please as I'm feeling really upset and guilty about this. I'm a single mum with a dd(6) and we've quite recently got a kitten after having a pair of old cats for most of her life so far. I'd have said that she was gentle and loves animals. She's a well behaved child, no issues.
Tonight though, the kitten did something that annoyed her..... stood on her picture leaving a little paw print on it. When she discovered it a few minutes later, even though the kitten was nowhere near the picture by this time, she scooped the kitten up and threw it across the room. The kitten is fine but has made a puddle near the door, presumably in fright?

Now, I know this is the season for bad behaviour as they're tired and over excited but this has really crossed a line for me. I've taken away her iPad and given a big lecture but where do I go from here? Constant supervision until she's 18? More punishment? Or just accept that she's young and needs more teaching about how to be with animals?
Would appreciate all views and have my hard hat firmly on.... thanks!!

I'm glad that your veterinary neighbour has examined the kitten and it's OK.

You need to rehome either the kitten or your daughter.

1. The kitten will now fear your daughter and this will cause it stress and it will do things like urinate in strange places. It needs to be separated from your daughter for its mental well-being.
2. As others have said, you can't be sure your daughter won't repeat violent behaviour towards the kitten. It needs to be separated from your daughter for its physical well-being.

Whilst you search for a new home for your daughter or kitten, you need to confine one of them to a room that the other cannot enter. You may find it more practical to confine the kitten in this way, although I personally would be tempted to confine the daughter as she is the agent of harm.

6 year olds do not have full consequential thinking and empathy which is one reason why no reputable rescue will home an animal with you if you have children under 8 years old.

As an animal lover with 4 gentle rescues, I would be heartbroken if a child of mine was deliberately being cruel to a small animal to the point it peed in utter terror. There is a level of intent and planning to this that makes it animal cruelty as it wasn’t just done in sudden reflex. I find that very troubling. That kitten deserves to live in a safe and protected environment. I don’t think taking an iPad away really addresses this lack of empathy and is not a strong enough message. I do think there should be some consequences for her in terms of Christmas presents. Personally, I would be inclined to return or re-gift all the stuff and tell her that instead of getting anything this year, you will be giving some money to a cat rescue place and if you cannot return her presents, give them to be auctioned, etc on her behalf as a small way to make up for her cruelty. An iPad is just another item for a child that is at best very spoilt and at worst has an unpleasant sadistic streak. That needs to be addressed, albeit age appropriately. An iPad if thrown across a room may get smashed; a living breathing being can get seriously hurt and might be quite traumatised. I also would worry if this is the only time she treated an animal like that.

Rehoming seems to be the overwhelming verdict...

Not sure how easy it is to rehome a 6 year old though... only half kidding

Seriously though, I would have gone ape shit and child would be under no illusions that any repeat would not involve removing iPads but removing anything they valued.

You made the mistake of posting this in the mad cat lady section of Mumsnet rather than a parenting board OP. They won’t rest now until you confirm that you will be rehoming your daughter.

@RedDiamond

One of those who said that was me.
Did I mean it? No! I have a 6 month old. I'd never do that. But it was an indication of just how much of a serious situation it was..

I personally would be tempted to confine the daughter as she is the agent of harm
Christ
It’s just a cat. It’s fine.

TimeForNewStart to be fair, the OP only said later it was a metre and kitten landed on his paws - the original post says "threw across the room" and that the kitten peed on the floor in fright, which understandably sounds quite a lot more alarming/potentially could cause injury.

An awful pile-on here tonight. OP you have got this. Don't look to MN for advice esp on an emotive subject like cats. You know your daughter and the situation better than any loony here.

This was a premeditated act. The kitten goes asap, tomorrow!! If she's done it once she'll do it again.
There will be times when you are not always there to see what she does.
The por kitten she must have been petrified.

Also, for everyone saying the cat is most likely badly injured, kittens and cats are extremely hardy. They are a species whose main activities are jumping from heights and hunting.

Well said @1300cakes.

@HyacynthBucket Posting completely from vested interest

she is the agent of harm

Fucking hell this is insane.

OP, this must be so horrible for you. You will be ok, your 6 year old will be ok (but supervise) and your kitten will be ok.

Is this some sort of viral promotion for “Don’t F**k With Cats: Hunting An Internet Killer” on Netflix?

Fucks sake the MN cat ladies are out in force tonight. Kids six years old, sometimes they do stupid mean things. Important thing is to use this as a good opportunity to teach her about being nice to animals. If she starts doing this regularly and with malice then start to think about rehoming. "Experiance fear and pain" jesus wept get laid.

@Ipigglemustdie

OP, your daughter has probably just not fully developed the understanding of consequences or empathy yet. Which I’m sure she will in time

But the cat is unsafe. Your daughter will now associate the kitten with getting in trouble (A’s she isn’t mature yet), and the kitten is now at greater risk. And Whether the throw was 5cm or 2m, the cat peed in fright 😢 and has to go. First to the vet, then to a shelter.

Then you can work on your daughter:
Find out if there’s anything else going on and Talk about the incident. She will learn about consequences naturally when the kitten gets rehomed.

Yes they jump from heights but 99.9% of the time they will size up the leap before they do it . Different to being grabbed by the child who the cat believed to be it's friend and thrown .

I would not like to begin to imagine the responses if the DH had thrown the kitten. Or the teenage son had thrown the kitten.

Like a lot of posters have written, it;s not as though this was a reflex .
She actually went to the kitten when it was away from the paper , sought it out and threw it .
And the poor little thing peed by the door , obviously trying to get away from her .

And was the OP there ? Did she know how far and with what force it was thrown? The kitten could well be injured . How many posts on here are my cat came limping home after a suspected dodgy landing . Adult cats . Not a tiny kitten.

We are closing this thread to new comments now as our gentle warning does not seem to have been heeded!

There was a story in the news a while ago where a man threw one of his kids' guinea-pigs against a shed door and killed it . Irritated by a tiny defenceless rodent

Bastard.We are hand rearing two orphaned guinea pigs at the moment, they are so sweet, trusting and defenceless, how anybody could hurt them is beyond me.

Yay!!! Well done Mumsnet!!