Dd threw the kitten.... where to go from here?

[bobndave]

Hi! Opinions please as I'm feeling really upset and guilty about this. I'm a single mum with a dd(6) and we've quite recently got a kitten after having a pair of old cats for most of her life so far. I'd have said that she was gentle and loves animals. She's a well behaved child, no issues.
Tonight though, the kitten did something that annoyed her..... stood on her picture leaving a little paw print on it. When she discovered it a few minutes later, even though the kitten was nowhere near the picture by this time, she scooped the kitten up and threw it across the room. The kitten is fine but has made a puddle near the door, presumably in fright?

Now, I know this is the season for bad behaviour as they're tired and over excited but this has really crossed a line for me. I've taken away her iPad and given a big lecture but where do I go from here? Constant supervision until she's 18? More punishment? Or just accept that she's young and needs more teaching about how to be with animals?
Would appreciate all views and have my hard hat firmly on.... thanks!!

Children absolutely fully understand that being violent towards people AND animals is wrong and causes them pain/distress, whatever, by the age of 6. She either is too immature to look after a pet or she is acting up badly, for whatever reason. Either way, neither scenario makes it acceptable to keep the kitten or another pet for that matter.
You need to rehome, both for kitty‘s safety as well as to teach DD that her actions have serious
consequences. And yes, as others have said, please rehome responsibly via a Rescue or the like.

Your daughter is not awful, but she has acted on impulse and out of immaturity. She isn’t ready to be allowed near baby animals. Your dd isn’t bad, just little.

The kitten should be rehomed.

I think the kitten is fine if the vet has checked it over...I once had to take a kitten to the vet because DHs friend bounded down the stairs and landed on it with all their weight. The vet checked it and it was fine. Realistically a kitten would be nit serious hurt if thrown by a six year old.

However, I'm actually quite disturbed a child would do this. Even when my DC have been bitten or scratched by our cats they've never been malicious towards them.

I would also suggest rehoming, but a week before Christmas the poor thing could be going from the frying pan to the fire.

Just hide the thread. Some loons are out in force

the kitten continues to reside in this unsuitable household

I assume you and everyone else posting in outrage on this thread is a vegetarian? A lot worse than happened to the kitten happens to the hundreds of animals that meat-eaters (I am one myself) eat each year. Battery farming, cows with their calves taken away, male chicks ground up alive at birth, animals terrified and abused at slaughterhouses. The kitten has experienced one episode of maltreatment from someone too young fully to know better but has a conscientious owner anxious to protect it. It is one hell of a lot better off than most farm animals - and than a lot of pets.

Yes I am vegetarian, thanks for asking

OP,
She threw the kitten hard enough that he peed in fright? I think you should seriously think about rehoming because to be brutally honest the kitten is in danger in your house. What if she really hurts him next time? Please prioritize the kitten

Children absolutely fully understand that being violent towards people AND animals is wrong and causes them pain/distress, whatever, by the age of 6

So why don't we hold 6 year olds responsible for crimes?

I agree that the kitten must be rehomed. We have a cat, and while she is absolutely lovely, there are certain things she is a complete menace with - paper is her favourite. I teach, and she is a total rogue when I am marking at home - wrapping Christmas presents is a disaster area.

The kitten will be a charming pest for a long, long time, and I imagine you will be afraid to allow your daughter to be alone with it now.

You must rehome the kitten

And have a very long and extremely serious talk with DD about how you NEVER touch an animal in anger, ever.

And if she's upset more about being told off than over the fact that she was very wrong, you need to also pick her up on that. 6 is absolutely old enough to understand. How sad. I think I'd rather rehome my DD than my cat. (Joke- sort of).

Just hide the thread. Some loons are out in force

If having serious concern over a kitten who the op described as being thrown across a room and peeing in fright by suggesting the kitten is rehomed as soon as possible makes me a loon then I'm totally fine with that.

@SmileCheese I know right?!

OP I would hide the thread now if I were you. You posted in the litter tray so are going to get highly emotional responses from people and I say that as a cat lover.
Keep the kitten safe, but I don't think rehoming is necessary if you can make sure this doesn't happen again. Talk to your daughter. 'You must have been really angry to do that?' Explore what's behind it.
Those saying a 6 yo must know right from wrong - yes to an extent but I agree with PP who said young children do not have the emotional maturity to act appropriately at all times, their brains have not fully developed. There is a criminal age of responsibility (which is still pretty young imo) for a reason.

I’m afraid i’d rehome op ( and i hate this always being said).
This wasn’t a split second impulse, she was mad and then went to find the kitten to hurt it.
It’s not ok ( as you know) it’s not safe for it.
You can’t watch her all the time around it and the next time it may not be as lucky.

Please take it too the vet.

We got our cat when one of our ds was 18 months old. We have since had another ds who is now 5. None of my dc would have thought to do this at any age.

The premeditation would really be worrying me. There was no instinctive lashing out from your dd it was done deliberately. I would see if I could speak to someone maybe school nurse regarding some counseling or something to help your dd deal with what's she's done and why she did it.

You do need to rehome the cat j don't want to go on all sensationalist but she has sought out the cat to hurt it once already. Who's to say she wont wake up in a grump and take it out on cat whilst you are still asleep.
Pop it down the road to your vet friend you've already told them what's happened so they should be willing to help by taking kitty off you tonight.
This must be very difficult for you op I would be horrified in your situation.

Very seriously, I would:

1. rehome your kitten for its own safety
2. see your GP and ask for your child to see a psychiatrist.

What SmileCheese said.

And please rehome the kitten.

I assume you and everyone else posting in outrage on this thread is a vegetarian? A lot worse than happened to the kitten happens to the hundreds of animals that meat-eaters (I am one myself) eat each year. Battery farming, cows with their calves taken away, male chicks ground up alive at birth, animals terrified and abused at slaughterhouses. The kitten has experienced one episode of maltreatment from someone too young fully to know better but has a conscientious owner anxious to protect it. It is one hell of a lot better off than most farm animals - and than a lot of pets.

Let me grasp this. Either one is vegan, or one shuts up about the appropriate care of domestic pets? Really? Try harder.

I have a 6 yo and I'd be very concerned indeed if he did something like that.
Everyone is saying rehouse the kitten, I'd def consider it but before getting to that point have a very serious conversation with her tomorrow about what happened.
Rehome the kitten unless you're 100% sure it will never happen again.

I would rehome the kitten as soon as possible , would the people you have it from take it back if you explained the situation ? For it's own safety I wouldn't want to leave it in the house an moment longer than I had too

Your daughter is old enough at six to know that her actions under any circumstance is completely unacceptable and a significantly higher level of punishment should be given than having her iPad removed together with clear explanation of why the kitten has been rehomed

What concerns me is that your daughter carried this out as a premeditated action with you present . Goodness knows what she would get up to if she was angry or alone

Rehome the poor kitten. Please do this.

Get your child assessed.

The OP has gone now. Stop banging on about rehoming the kitten. Thread closed.

if you can make sure this doesn't happen again

How can the OP ensure that? It wasn’t an instant reaction either. The child found the kitten and threw it hard enough to cause it to pee in fright. Not good. The OP has a responsibility to ensure the kitten is not hurt. Maybe rehoming is best way to ensure that

Please rehome the kitten before it gets badly hurt.

Then talk to your child, who seems quite disturbed, to find out why she thinks this is appropriate behaviour and why she is so angry.