Dd threw the kitten.... where to go from here?

[bobndave]

Hi! Opinions please as I'm feeling really upset and guilty about this. I'm a single mum with a dd(6) and we've quite recently got a kitten after having a pair of old cats for most of her life so far. I'd have said that she was gentle and loves animals. She's a well behaved child, no issues.
Tonight though, the kitten did something that annoyed her..... stood on her picture leaving a little paw print on it. When she discovered it a few minutes later, even though the kitten was nowhere near the picture by this time, she scooped the kitten up and threw it across the room. The kitten is fine but has made a puddle near the door, presumably in fright?

Now, I know this is the season for bad behaviour as they're tired and over excited but this has really crossed a line for me. I've taken away her iPad and given a big lecture but where do I go from here? Constant supervision until she's 18? More punishment? Or just accept that she's young and needs more teaching about how to be with animals?
Would appreciate all views and have my hard hat firmly on.... thanks!!

I would also rehome, the kitten can’t live like that

Kitten needs to go to the vet and be rehomed

I have a 4 year old, a baby on he way and a dog that’s constantly stepping on 4 year olds crafts, artwork, carefully constructed Lego and train scenes. He moans at her, complains to me, insisted dog doesn’t get any reward stickers and the minute I tell dog off rushes to dog and defends her and prohibits me from telling off his beloved dog. Anything else is not normal.

A huge part of me hopes this didn’t really happen.

Please rehome ASAP. That kitten isn't safe with her. It wasn't an impulse thing. She intentionally went to got the cat to punish it. That's really concerning behavior.

You need to be very strict with your daughter that it is never ok to hurt animals and that it is actually illegal.

I have a friend a few doors down who is a vet, she gave the kitten a check over and he is fine, thanks for asking everybody.

I'm highly doubtful a vet would say anything of the sort or leave the defenceless animal in your care. Also how the fuck could they know the kitten is fine just by looking at it, you cannot see internal injuries or broken bones by merely holding and looking at a cat. Take her to a vet for goodness sake!

A kitten was flung from afar

To be fair this is exaggerating what happened a bit, it wasn't a hard, violent throw across the room. She probably threw it about 1 metre and it landed on its paws. I'm NOT minimising this by the way, still horrified but these things can spiral if you're not careful.

The below is from Psychology today about animal cruelty and when to worry. Whilst your DD's behaviour is very upsetting for you and all of us to read the below seems to indicate that with guidance from you, and when she grows in maturity all should be good.

The Experimenter: (ages 1-6 or developmentally delayed). This is usually a preschool child who has not developed the cognitive maturity to understand that animals have feelings and are not to be treated as toys. This may be the child's first pet or s/he doesn't have a lot of experience or training on how to take care of a variety of animals. What to do: To some extent, of course, this depends on the age and development of the child. In general, though, explain to the child that it is not okay to hit or mistreat an animal, just as it's not okay to hit or mistreat another child. Humane education interventions (teaching children to be kind, caring, and nurturing toward animals) by parents, childcare providers, and teachers are likely to be sufficient to encourage desistance of animal abuse in these children.

There are two issues here.

One is about the child. Analysing child psychology or scrutinising what should be done in relation to consequences is all excellent and the OP can take time to ponder, consult widely and work on a short to longer term approach.

The immediate issue is that there is a kitten which has been flung on a hard floor, peed itself in fear and the kitten continues to reside in this unsuitable household. (Yes it is sort of unsuitable where baby animals get thrown from afar). That’s where most posters are rightly intervening. This kitten must live in this household why? Cos it would break the humans’ hearts to give it up? Oh dear. Doesn’t matter.

Wtaf. What a troubled child.

Even if you do rehome the kitten, how will that help your dd? You must get to the bottom of why she even had that idea in her head. It hasn’t come from nowhere.

Yes, but the kitten’s safety and the reasons the OP’s daughter did this are two separate issues.

This wasn’t an accident. Nobody stood on the cat’s paw by mistake. Nobody forgot to feed the kitten for one meal or something. This was animal abuse. If a pet owner can’t keep their pets safe from abuse, then they shouldn’t have an animal in their home in the first place.

Your OP said she threw it across the room. Not one metre

Irrelevant if it was 1 metre, whether you consider 1 metre just about ok, or whatever. This is abuousheild where a baby animals can get thrown. From 1 metre today to land on paws to 2 metres tomorrow to land on head or from first floor to the ground floor. I am amazed that you’re finding it suitable to pick faults in people’s language. The more you post the more I realise that this kitten needs to go.

I hope this vet friend of yours was able to do a thorough examination. Why didn't you take the kitten to a surgery where the appropriate equipment would have been available?

I'm an animal rescuer and reuomer have been for decades.

I don't think rehoming is ever the answer except in EXTREME circumstances and I HATE that so many people give pets up because they've changed their minds. Pets are for life, and it makes my blood boil how people rehome all the time.

All that said, you should rehome. She will do it again. She needs the lesson. If she had have pulled its tail or such, fair enough. What she did could have killed that innocent animal. He deserves to be somewhere safe.
GOOD home though

However, a 6 year old is highly impulsive and has an immature understanding of consequences.

The biggest concern in this situation after the animals wellbeing is that the act wasn't impulsive this 6 year old actively sought out the animal to throw it!

I'd love to be able to say rehome the child, but sadly I can't mean it.

So what actually happened, OP? Why would you exaggerate your DD committing a violent act?

Well you know your daughter!

If this is a one off and you believe that to be the case, I'd be speaking to her seriously about it and stressing that if I ever saw anything like that again then the kitten would be given to a home where it would be treated properly. I'd then keep a close eye on the pair of them

However OP bear in mind that this is MN with stupid OTT responses. You'll be left feeling like you're raising a psychopath by the end of the thread so just glaze your eyes past the stupid responses.

You know her and we don't. She's 6. She got cross. And that mustn't ever happen again. If you think there's a chance it might, then Yep, rehome. If you can educate her more and chat through how we treat animals even if we are angry with them, then give it another go

You must get to the bottom of why she even had that idea in her head

Cool. Sure. But why is the kitten still required to be in this household whilst this analysis takes place? Have a “period of reflection”, arrange getting to the bottom of it - different issue. But this defenceless kitten must still be kept in this house must it? Essential to the child reflection process?

I'm highly doubtful a vet would say anything of the sort or leave the defenceless animal in your care. Also how the fuck could they know the kitten is fine just by looking at it, you cannot see internal injuries or broken bones by merely holding and looking at a cat. Take her to a vet for goodness sake!

Ok look, I started this thread for some advice, genuinely upset, looking for opinions and have taken things on board. However I can now see how this thread is going down. Nothing I do or say will stop this will it?

Sorry I started this now but thanks for the advice from those people who were helpful rather than unkind. Rest assured that I care deeply for the kitten and all animals and I will do the best I can for it.

I'd rehome the kitten. This is not normal behaviour for a 6 year old (and I say that as a parent of children with additional needs

Sorry OP, this must have been very horrible to witness 😕 I'd be very upset and probably, like you, wouldn't know what to do. I'm not sure 'taking the iPad away' seems quite right as it's not really linked to what happened? But she really needs to understand what she did is totally not ok. Maybe take her to the vets too and could the vet explain the seriousness to her? I know 6 is little but she should be able to understand her actions are very wrong
Sending hugs 🌺🌻🌹

Also if it was only 1 metre from a 6 year old height, and it landed on its paws, why even see a vet friend? Cats jump that distance.

Either you’re minimising or you grossly exaggerated in the first instance