PB, some Ginge love and a LWT

[Ollivander84]

Here!

Er well I took one in the shoes. Or a photographer did. It's a rather lovely concealed nude (you can see nothing as it's taken from the side)
It's got me a 3 day Facebook ban

Oops.

Meanwhile...

That's a 'Look at Me' pose if ever there was one.

Notice the name on the throw... he carefully posed next to it

You can tell it's not photoshopped and it's all you.

Unasked for input, anyone? top right, look at that curl that comes out and back in again - if i was in the glossy office tonight I'd take that out because it mucks up the line - but don't touch anything else. Nothing.

I am suffering torments of the damned - the builders have installed a 30-storey crane and floodlights behind my garden and are working illegally at night. The noise is deafening - 10 concrete mixers, 50 screeching men, 10 lorries.

£200 million at stake, see. Who cares if all the locals go nuts and can't eat, rest, sleep or cuddle their cat.

This is none of my business either, but lose the nude pix on FB. You really, really don't want to find out what happens if they go wrong.

When they go wrong. You control 0. I had to research this for a book I did, and all I can say is people who work at Facebook won't use Facebook.

Thanks for the tip.

Have you been at the sherry C? In your convalescent state, I can't see PB sanctioning anyone in your household doing a calendar except him.

It's ok - the nude pic is out there anyway, it's nothing I wouldn't show to family etc because it's literally a photo of my side hence the face at the ban. It's a level I work at

Oh their software literally can't tell its arse from its elbow, no humans involved, don't worry about it.

They definitely can't! If you imagine me stood side on to the camera, leg nearest camera forward and one arm down, one across chest. So all you see is leg, hip, side and face
I see that piece of hair now, he's just sent me another with my head tipped and the piece of hair has moved

Wow if I wasn't straight I'd be knocking on your door right now!

Kitties are sulking - old friend i hadn't spoken to for ages called & I was 10 mins late with s u p p e r

10 MINUTES LATE? You're lucky it's just a sulk.

It's up to you - it's a great ringlet - but the pic'll read better if you whip it out. Bear in mind you see images much smaller than you realise, so the big lines are more important than you first assume.

See what I mean Allergic has good point. Beauty is worth protecting.

Me and Mr C always look fat in photos. Don't get me wrong, we are both dead fat, but somehow pix showing it seem so unnecessarily impolite.

I am also fat hence the plus size model bit. Although I don't really think of myself as a "model", more someone who turns up to shoots occasionally. I shall ask photographer to edit, editing his photos is a giant no no

Oh he can do it, they love it.

Plus size isn't fat, it's just not fashion/skeletal, which is different. My best mate was a fashion model at 7 stone 10, height 5.11 and a half. They told her her thighs were too big for pix so she always worked from the waist up. She weighs normal 12 stone now.

If you see a group of them together IRL eg casting, fashion models are just a single, v distinct body type. Very long, very straight and very narrow. Flat Stanley with international hair, basically. They all have brilliant hair, don't ask me how when by rights it should have fallen out cos they don't eat.

A lot of fashion models - both walkers and photo ones - can look pretty odd without clothes. You can't use them for anything health related because no one would believe you. Or fitness, or lifestyle, or sex 'n' relationships, owt like that.

I get really tetchy about models because I used to hire them for posh books all the time and getting one who shot well without looking too thin was a right bastard sometimes.

I look completely different out of photos. Colleagues are when I say I'm off to a shoot. Probably a size 16 at the minute weight gain but I'm still getting bookings which is nice. Birmingham this month, and Gloucester the week after

Yyayay. Save the ££ and get something amazing with it - mate toured Canada on the proceeds. Why not do a tour of Great Pet Hotels of the World.

I have been summoned to bed. Sweet dreams all :)

He'll be fine with editing as long as he knows Why etc and as long as he is the one to do it.

Oh yes. Model lesson number 1, never ever ever filter/crop/edit photos or face wrath of photographer

O has retreated to his igloo because I was being an annoying pillow and fidgeting too much and how is he meant to get his beauty sleep like that

Exactly it C. Thing is, the pic is the snapper's work of art. And they spend their lives being told what to do by women, which is why they are a) generally incredibly nice and clever b) hard to annoy so don't.

They love being briefed - in as few words as possible.
They can't hear very well when they're looking so hard, so keep it short .

Mr C is talking in his sleep. Little fat muzzle mouthing away, pause, then he makes another point.

I hope it's not me getting an earful :)

PB was talking in his snooze this morning. Muttering from the radiator bed. (Which he deigned to use - again. )

He likes that bed! (And you...)
O says he is not over grooming honestly