Teenager hates our dog

[WeetabixForDinner]

We have a 7 year old dog we've had since she was a puppy. The problem is her barking when she's home; she barks at people walking by, if she hears the word hello, a knock, if we're dancing around or playing, she is very hostile towards anyone she doesn't know, or sometimes just people not in the family, she even barks when we're out for a walk and I stop to talk to someone (at me this time). The barking is very loud and can go on for sometime. I took her to training when she was young but the barking was so bad I was getting bad looks and it got too much and I left. I have lived quite isolated since. We can't really have anyone round, it was horrendous when I bought a house and had people in to do work on it.

My 15yo hates her. I tells me everyday that she has ruined his childhood and he can't have friends round. He gets angry with her and will push her bum.

Apart from the above, she has been a lovely day and I absolutely love her, she is great off lead, incredibly affectionate, she's incredibly clever (which may be a contributing factor). Also, my 11yo disabled son adores her, he would be distraught if we needed to rehome her.

For one reason or another (never due to even considering puppies) time has passed and I never got her neutered. I am next month. Will this help?

She gets a lot of exercise, although there are some days during the week she needs more, I just struggle due to work and commuting and school, she never really has less than an hour a day off lead. She has a dog walker a few times a week. I WFH mostly so she's never left alone for long.

I am struggling to meet the needs of everyone in my household, and so everyone is unhappy.

Personally I would get rid of her. It’s a shame your son has had to suffer all these years

Is your son hating the dog a recent thing? At 15 he's peak hormones and if it's not the dog he's angry about next week it will be something different. It does sound like you need to train the dog, can you get a behaviourist to come to your house to work on the barking issue if it's making it difficult for you to have visitors?

Why do the feelings of one son override the feelings of the other ? It’s never too late to train a dog , get a behaviourist in and if your eldest wants friends round shut her in one room so he can do so .

Teenager may be going off to University in 3 years, why would you get rid of your dog.

Shame on you for quitting the dog training, it sounds like you only went once - which I am sure you didn't give up so easily.

Is there somewhere you can put a baby gate that allows your son and friends to come in and not disturb dog, ditto keeping her away from windows that she barks at passers by from?

What do you do when she barks at visitors/the window?

I went for 3 months, certainly not once. I also had 121 with a trainer for the barking.

We don't have any really. If my son brings a friend around I put her in another room, but the barking is non stop and really loud, so I'll try go out with her.

It sounds like you need to train your dog. I certainly wouldn't tolerate the behaviour you describe, it sounds awful.

Spaying won't help with barking if she's 7. It will help with pyo risk though so I would still do it

I struggle with dog barking, suddenly unpredictable noises stress me out so in the early dog training days i often wear ear plugs on walks etc. It might be worth your teen trying that but you will still have to train

You need to get a trainer back in because often (but not always) an excess of barking is a dog who is on high alert 24/7 and stressed.

I will try a trainer again.

Its my fault. She's my first dog, I didn't really know what I was getting into, she's a scent hound working dog. When I bought her I asked about this and was assured that the breeder had only ever kept them as family dogs, I now know that I should never have bought her. Our life has changed and I am now working full time.

I am regretful and ashamed and just feel this is another failure.

I will reach out to a trainer again.

Teenager has told me how much he hates the dog for about 6 months.

Surely you can interrupt the behaviour?

Put her on a short lead and keep her with you in the house when there are people around
Or
teach lie down and stay (they don’t bark lying down) at your feet

Have you tried giving the dog a Kong/ sniffy mat when someone’s comes around?

Definitely work with a good behaviourist with positive reinforcement.

Have a look at some Victoria Stillwell videos for some good ideas whilst waiting for your first apt.

Try not to fall into a shame spiral. Its really difficult but ultimately feeling bad is paralysing and just makes it hard to actually do stuff, and not just withdraw and close all the hatches.
Its really common that people with trickier dogs who need the most training and stimulation, withdraw from it all because it's overwhelming and much harder with a tricky dog

Talk to a trainer and commit some time. None of it will be quick but normally you can desensitise them to door bells, hello etc fairly easily.

Don't be tempted by any of the anti bark devices. They emit a loud noise that your kids will likely be able to hear, but also dont fix the core issues that cause a dog to bark

I am so sick of people saying 'give the dog a kong' when it's displaying bad behaviour. No. You address and train out bad behaviour. You don't plop your dog in front of the dog equivalent of an I-Pad. Tell me you're a lazy owner without telling me you're a lazy owner.🙄I wish these owners wouldn't contribute to behavioural issue threads - the advice is about as useful as Putin's advice on how to seize a country in 10 days.

OP, she sounds deeply unhappy. How much training, attention and exercise does she get a day?

That being said, if I knew my child was 'pushing the bum' and 'getting angry' with my dog, they'd be in for a very sharp word. Pushing animals about is never acceptable. Nor is getting angry. Dogs are a product of their ownership and their breeding. Can you re-home your eldest son? (Serious question).

She isn't interested in anyone treats at all whilst barking. The 'quiet' command was quite tricky because she was not interested. At training I think she barked due to overwhelm and boredom, at home is anxiety and territory, and I think she barks at me if I stop on a walk because she's telling me to get moving.

I will definitely contact a trainer and get her neutered and go from there.

I hadn't really sat and thought about it, but yes, my life got much much more difficult after we got her, but mostly we are pretty isolated because of her. I knew my life had become more difficult and expensive, but hadn't thought much about the isolation.

Alas no, although the suggestion to live elsewhere has been made.

She doesn't seem unhappy when she's not barking? She walks about with her tail up and is incredibly affectionate?

Its got to the point that I feel tense when my son comes in the room

While I suspect that op has likely tried a kong... kongs do have their place.

I was always taught that you should teach a dog what they should be doing, rather than trying to teach them not to do something. Eg ours were taught to actively go in a bed or a down when the front door is opened to stop them rushing it.

A kong can be useful in an ipad style of keeping a dog engaged in an alternative calm behaviour, while you condition them to something

I can’t see getting her neutered would change this. Who is looking after her if you work full time? (This isn’t solvable if no one is there and she is barking all day.) Sounds like she’s frustrated and unhappy. You don’t need a trainer. You need a proper behaviourist to understand why she’s barking.

Does your DDog keep on barking at visitors? Our eldest has their friends around and DDog does bark but will settle down.

And have you tried adding window film so that she can’t see passersby?

@WeetabixForDinner you didn't answer my question about training, attention and exercise.

And dogs can look incredibly happy, even when they are utterly depressed. A high wagging tail and being affectionate does not a happy dog make.

I WFH 4 days a week, the other day and 1 other day she has a dog walker. The dog walker says she knows when I am home as she only really gets barked at when I'm in. She also does better at the vets when she's taken away from me.

Is the dog home alone bored all day barking?

A kong has its place, licking calms dogs down, so this and a lick mat can be useful. Anything that can be used for positive reinforcement is a good thing. It’s not lazy to give a dog something he can focus on, as a reward. Of course it doesn’t replace training, but it has a place.

OP, I would recommend a breed specific trainer if possible, we use a gun dog trainer (positive reinforcement) and he’s brilliant. Not all dogs respond to the same training.
Walking a dog is a given, but dogs also need mental stimulation too.

I’d look for recommendations on local facebook groups. Or find a breeder & ask their advice on the barking, a good breeder (even if not one you got the dog off) will be happy to offer some advice, or recommend a suitable dog trainer.
It sounds as if you had a rubbish experience previously, but like anything there are good and bad dog trainers around.

I can understand your son being pissed off, but that doesn’t excuse his behaviour towards the dog who has no idea he’s doing anything wrong or annoying your son.
It’s unlikely spaying will help much, but I’d speak to the vet to see what they say.

I think finding the right trainer who understands the breed is your first step, some of them may even work along side a behaviourist - mine does

Apologies, she gets between 1 - 2.5 hours a day exercise, has access to garden at all times, she has access to me all the time, but often lays in the living room when I'm WFH. She often sleeps next to my youngest son at night (she's a stout thing). Training, very little, she's had the initial 3 months i managed, plus some 121 about the barking. She has been to scent training a few times but I had to travel over an hour to get there.