Teenager hates our dog

[WeetabixForDinner]

We have a 7 year old dog we've had since she was a puppy. The problem is her barking when she's home; she barks at people walking by, if she hears the word hello, a knock, if we're dancing around or playing, she is very hostile towards anyone she doesn't know, or sometimes just people not in the family, she even barks when we're out for a walk and I stop to talk to someone (at me this time). The barking is very loud and can go on for sometime. I took her to training when she was young but the barking was so bad I was getting bad looks and it got too much and I left. I have lived quite isolated since. We can't really have anyone round, it was horrendous when I bought a house and had people in to do work on it.

My 15yo hates her. I tells me everyday that she has ruined his childhood and he can't have friends round. He gets angry with her and will push her bum.

Apart from the above, she has been a lovely day and I absolutely love her, she is great off lead, incredibly affectionate, she's incredibly clever (which may be a contributing factor). Also, my 11yo disabled son adores her, he would be distraught if we needed to rehome her.

For one reason or another (never due to even considering puppies) time has passed and I never got her neutered. I am next month. Will this help?

She gets a lot of exercise, although there are some days during the week she needs more, I just struggle due to work and commuting and school, she never really has less than an hour a day off lead. She has a dog walker a few times a week. I WFH mostly so she's never left alone for long.

I am struggling to meet the needs of everyone in my household, and so everyone is unhappy.

Thank you everyone, I really needed this to show me how much I've allowed this to go on.

I definitely feel like I owe our dog the effort to make things work, she has never shown aggression towards us and is very tolerant. She follows me around like a shadow, and I've had her for 7 years, during that time we've been through hell, including homelessness. She has access to a big garden, but I can see this isnt enough for her. She needs more brain drain as someone put it. For example, she had to go to the vets a few weeks ago as he nail broke and exposed the quick. She will not tolerate the vet, she i had to drug her (vet prescription), she now won't eat the chicken i gave her with the drugs In that day, that one time, she remembers.

I also understand why some people would rehouse her. I also feel isolated, and I haven't been able to leave her overnight alone since I got her. She's spent one night in the kennel, she was okay, but if I drove back she would remember. I am incredibly anxious over her too. I don't want my son to feel like I dont listen, which is exactly what he said to me today, which sparked this thread.

I owe it to her and him to try, and if it fails, see where we go.

Take that note about the neutering and behaviour getting worse...that's a scary thought.

I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I can understand the stress it must have caused. I really need to listen to my son.

Some posters have nailed it on the head, I got the wrong breed. Ideally it would be great to have her with a farmer or on shots some of the time to get her working.

I got an anti bark collar for my dog who was driving me and the neighbours crazy with barking when outside. Not to get back in, just in response to stimuli outside. He had been ok, manageable enough, until a lady moved in next door with a dog AND a penchant for feeding birds who flew in large numbers over my garden to get to hers. No regrets whatsover, he doesn't have it on all the time and the alternative would have been either keeping him inside most of the time, which he would have hated, or rehoming which I would hate to have done. I fully expect a pile on but in OP's case, the stakes are very high and I would go for it. If I had to make my dog a bit unhappy sometimes to show my son I was listening to his very valid concerns, then that is what I would do. It was the least bad option for us and probably for the OP too.

I Take it you’re not a dog owner . Her other son loves the dog. They are not disposable possessions to be got rid of after 7 years ! I’m sure there are other avenues OP can pursue eg behaviourists

It is still all about your dog
and not your son
for half his life…. No friends over without incessant barking
next year in his GCSEs, he’ll need to
study without the dog going off on one on and off throughout the day
show your boy that for the last couple of years of his childhood… he can have his mates around and have some bloody peace

and I am a dog owner (who adores her dog) and also the mother of teenagers (and they ALWYcome first!!)

Unfortunately those collars don't work on scent hounds

You have ignored the queries re… your poor neighbours? @WeetabixForDinner

She’s an under stimulated working dog who’s not getting what she needs. Just physical exercise isn’t enough for them. I would seriously consider rehoming to someone who can give her what she needs daily.

The neighbours have genuinely not said anything to me, we are in a semi-detached and next to me is a small field. Although, I did hear next door shout at her once in the garden, so yes, they have definitely noticed, but said nothing to me.

I feel for them

What breed is she op!?
with kindness - we have working dogs and shoot with them. They actually need to be very well trained, you can’t just foist any dog with a problem into that situation!

you need to find someone who understands the breed.

I couldn’t cope with it sounds horrendous

hope you don’t have neighbours

You need to be careful not to succumb to emotional manipulation, its not about not listening to him or not caring about him there is a whole family who need to be taken into consideration too.

There are fixes that can be made with the dog, its not all or nothing. But you need to show him you're on it and fixing it.

Well yeah he's not going to like her is he? Sounds really isolating for him.

Can you imagine what it's like for them?

This ⬆️.
I know many people regard dogs as part of the family, with all sorts of privilege - but that poor lad! Please put him first.

Imagine how awful it must be in summer particularly

One thing that jumps out for me is that you have only ever left him for one night. does that mean you and your children have not had any holidays for 7 years or do you go away in the UK?

She is silent the vast majority of the time, I understand it must be an annoyance for them at times, but its not 24/7 trapped in a room barking.

We don't go on holiday @helpfulperson, we've had a few nights away in the UK a few times but I take her with us. I worry she wouldn't cope well with being in kennels. I need to get a grip. I think some of this boils down to how much little self respect I have.

I feel sorry for the dog, your elder son and your neighbours (even if they haven’t said anything)

I mean this kindly but this is all on you. It is probably salvageable though with a behaviorist money time and effort.

Oh for goodness sake, you haven't ruined your DS's childhood just because he couldn't have friends over. It's hardly the end of the world.

She's probably trying to protect you as she only barks when you're there.

OP you don't need to be ashamed just because someone said 'Shame on you'. Don't let people like that get to you. You're not an evil monster - you just have an annoying dog. Mine is a bit daft too and we meet many daft dogs on our walks.

So it’s also severely restricted your children’s holidays

great

We didnt go away for 15 years abroad when we had our dog, UK holidays only. We had around 6 holidays a year, he loved a holiday. Loved a pub, would always try to drag us in a pub if we were walking past!

Perhaps is not the dog itself that your son doesnt like, its your anxiety levels around her. i have a friend who is hyper vigilent around the dog and its very tense being around them both, always fussing about what the dog is or isnt doing, what the dog does or doesnt like, is the dog happy or not happy, is the dog hungry or not hungry.

Its really stressful being around that.

No, she doesn't need to be shamed, but come on - a child that can't have friends round? That's really not great.