Teenager hates our dog

[WeetabixForDinner]

We have a 7 year old dog we've had since she was a puppy. The problem is her barking when she's home; she barks at people walking by, if she hears the word hello, a knock, if we're dancing around or playing, she is very hostile towards anyone she doesn't know, or sometimes just people not in the family, she even barks when we're out for a walk and I stop to talk to someone (at me this time). The barking is very loud and can go on for sometime. I took her to training when she was young but the barking was so bad I was getting bad looks and it got too much and I left. I have lived quite isolated since. We can't really have anyone round, it was horrendous when I bought a house and had people in to do work on it.

My 15yo hates her. I tells me everyday that she has ruined his childhood and he can't have friends round. He gets angry with her and will push her bum.

Apart from the above, she has been a lovely day and I absolutely love her, she is great off lead, incredibly affectionate, she's incredibly clever (which may be a contributing factor). Also, my 11yo disabled son adores her, he would be distraught if we needed to rehome her.

For one reason or another (never due to even considering puppies) time has passed and I never got her neutered. I am next month. Will this help?

She gets a lot of exercise, although there are some days during the week she needs more, I just struggle due to work and commuting and school, she never really has less than an hour a day off lead. She has a dog walker a few times a week. I WFH mostly so she's never left alone for long.

I am struggling to meet the needs of everyone in my household, and so everyone is unhappy.

I think that’s a bit dramatic. I could never have friends around at that age and still managed to form and maintain some wonderful friendships.

Son really wants her to be rehoused.

Its not as bad as it may come across, she's not stuck at home alone all day, she's great off lead, she's a lovely dog, and the barking isnt all day. I think I just get used to a poor level and accept it because not accepting it takes more effort, so I don't always even register how bad things are. Although I've had a few unpleasant comments on this thread, its helpful for me to realise this isn't an acceptable way to live.

But this lad wants friends over

Why could you never have friends over @ExplodingSmittens ?

Get in a qualified behaviourist. That's what I had to do with my shouty rescue old lady. Now I don't even have to speak, I just give her a hard stare and a pointy finger and she goes to her bed.

I dont blame the son for being angry at the moment the dog is spolilng his life its as though the dog is more important than he is. But also the dogs behaviour is very anti social constant barking is very stressfull for people who have to listen to
I think you need to go back to th animal behaviourist/trainer at least then your son will see you are trying to do something about it.

Wow, she has lived with and loved this soul for 7 years and you dismiss that easily. I’m glad I’m not related to you and I hope you have neither kids nor animals.

To salvage the last couple of years before my DS moves out? Hell yes

It's not too late to put this right. But you need to put the effort in, both with the dog training and also rebuilding your son's relationship with the dog.

I have 2 spaniels. 1 is a pure cocker. The other is a cross with a lab. Both are ridiculously high energy, they are amazing dogs but they are hard work.

The barking is territorial, she is protecting her pack (your family). You need to do a lot of work on positive interactions with her. Locking her away when visitors come is not the answer. You need something to break the cycle. So with mine I have the squeaky bit out of an old toy. When our 8 month old puppy starts, we squeaky it to break the attention then food reward and lots of fuss when his focus shifts.

You need to do lots of work around keeping her focus on you (and I would say with your son too), take it back to basics, "dog name, here girl" and then reward, treat. Fuss and a chel work like yes or good girl etc. Keep repeating.

Play games with her, hold a treat in one hand get her to pick which hand.

Get some brain games off amazon where you hide treats and they have to lift flaps/move blocks to get the food, especially when you have people first arrive. Use them to distracted her and when she allows them in without making a racket heavily reward her

You would do well to look up gundog training as it sounds like she needs it.

Feel free to pm if you want

Partly the layout of the house, which is probably why I don’t like open plan now. Having an abusive M didn’t help much either.

You’d teach a child that a life for which you are responsible is disposable because they don’t behave quite as you want them to ( in this case due to training and frustration but looks like the op is going to address it now) ? That is a super shitty lesson, let’s hope they won’t be choosing your nursing home with those lessons and ethics.

Sorry I haven’t read all comments so apologies if I’m repeating what someone has already said. I certainly wouldn’t rehome, especially if she’s been in your family and grown up with your children and has never shown signs of aggression. I think you owe it to her to at least try to sort the problem.

I would see a dog behaviourist, rather than a trainer. Ask your vet for recommendations, and also ask any behaviourists you contact if they have ABTC (Animal behaviour and training council) qualifications. Perhaps get your son involved in training programmes recommended by the behaviourist to create more of a bond between him and the dog. I would also hold off on spaying her until you have spoken to a behaviourist, as sometimes taking away the hormones can affect their behaviour - and can sometimes make negative behaviours worse.

Rather dismiss an animal than a DC. But typical MN. The dog is more important than the human.
The dog doesn’t sound happy and isn’t a good match for your family OP. Better to rehouse her with owners who can spend more time with her and properly train her. If not, I fear you may permanently damage the relationship with your DS.

Have you seen the episode of Dogs Behaving Badly where the trainer spends a whole day over and over removing the dog from the room immediately when it barks and only lets it back in when it is quiet? There’s more to it than that but the key was a huge amount of consistency and repetition. Worth digging out.

It was the abusive mum. Not the layout. You poor thing

I'm not sure it's that clear cut.

My parents fairly clearly chose a dog over their grandchild at one point (having made it fairly clear they preferred a series of dogs to their own children and grandchildren over the decades, but the incident with the very clear choice was just over ten years ago).

This has not gone especially well for them in terms of levels and length of contact with grandchildren especially now they are elderly and grandchildren are adults.

Sorry, me again! Just noticed she’s a scent hound. There’s different organisations that lay scent trials you can follow with your dog. A hound would absolutely love this type of exercise. If it’s not something your son or you are into, why not put a post on borrow my dog and see if anyone local would take her and give her some exercise. I think you probably have the wrong breed for your family, but the key is to find her strengths. If she’s getting quality exercise of a type that she’s bred for (scenting), it might quieten her busy brain down a bit. Good luck!

Oh screw all that

he’s sucked it up for 7 years

let him have his mates over and to enjoy his home environment for the next couple of years

the lad will be revising for his GCSE’s next year if nothing else and deserves to have peace

7 years… half his life he’s lived with this. Listen to your son (rather than barking)

Edited because I hadn’t RTFT properly 😊
I think I would rather have to explain to a dog why I put my son first than vice versa, but I can see why it’s difficult. Seems like a straight choice between rehoming the dog or fully committing to training it.
I have no patience at all with maniacally barking dogs (live with two soft, silent kitties) and I would feel just as your son does. It’s nerve-shredding 🙁

The dog is 7 - allowed by whom?

Have a look at ‘mantrailing’ x

We had a dog when I was a teen. It barked constantly every morning. The constant noise was unbearable for me as a hormonal teenager and meant that I left for school absolutely full of rage and cortisol every day. It made me hate my mum because I felt she prioritised its comfort over mine. It died before I sat my GCSE’s thank goodness. Just writing this post has made me feel stressed with the memory. Please rehome the dog.

What scent work do you do with the dog?

You need to train the dog, is the dog in pain, does she have halth needs?

Its not rocket science, she needs training and you need to find a system that works

Dont rehome her, your younger son would be distraught as would you

Your poor neighbours as well

To where? The massive amount of experienced homes queuing up to take a disregulated dog?
Realistically, op will not be able to rehome this dog, the likelihood is, it will be destroyed.
I too grew up with dogs that barked a lot. I was neither “full or rage” nor “flooded with cortisol”