Teenager hates our dog

[WeetabixForDinner]

We have a 7 year old dog we've had since she was a puppy. The problem is her barking when she's home; she barks at people walking by, if she hears the word hello, a knock, if we're dancing around or playing, she is very hostile towards anyone she doesn't know, or sometimes just people not in the family, she even barks when we're out for a walk and I stop to talk to someone (at me this time). The barking is very loud and can go on for sometime. I took her to training when she was young but the barking was so bad I was getting bad looks and it got too much and I left. I have lived quite isolated since. We can't really have anyone round, it was horrendous when I bought a house and had people in to do work on it.

My 15yo hates her. I tells me everyday that she has ruined his childhood and he can't have friends round. He gets angry with her and will push her bum.

Apart from the above, she has been a lovely day and I absolutely love her, she is great off lead, incredibly affectionate, she's incredibly clever (which may be a contributing factor). Also, my 11yo disabled son adores her, he would be distraught if we needed to rehome her.

For one reason or another (never due to even considering puppies) time has passed and I never got her neutered. I am next month. Will this help?

She gets a lot of exercise, although there are some days during the week she needs more, I just struggle due to work and commuting and school, she never really has less than an hour a day off lead. She has a dog walker a few times a week. I WFH mostly so she's never left alone for long.

I am struggling to meet the needs of everyone in my household, and so everyone is unhappy.

Have you tried a citrus collar? I had one for a previous dog, it was excellent.
I had a dog that would jump up at children (not aggressively) she loved children and would lick them and want to play. But obviously it wasn't exceptable.
I brought a citrus collar (came with a button they upu pressed it gave a warning beep. Then you press the button again and it would let out a spray of citrus. The dog hated it! Soon stopped the behaviour.

Well, I also have a disabled child, on my own, working full time, which may also contribute to why I can't spend upwards of £2k, although I see your point, the dog adds to this.

That sounds brilliant.

This is a dog that isn’t suited to just normal quiet family life. Please do what’s best by the dog and find them a home that can offer them mental stimulation daily. What a sad frustrating life they must be living.

Yes, we had friends that stopped their dog barking with one of these.

OP training a dog is not something you try and then give up on. It is a continous process. My friend has dogs who have always behaved so well. Her current dog is not young but she is always backing up the training.

I can't imagine how you have lived with a barking dog for 7 years. And I have a beagle.

Those collars are aversive and are not a good solution.

It is not great for a while but the dog soon learns to stop barking. Our friends dog wasn’t happy when it was barking and is a happy dog now.

It doesnt take away the underlying cause though or teach a dog what to do instead

Say a dog is overexcited, it doesn't cause the dog to be less excited, it might mean the dog then develops another undesirable behaviour like nipping

In ops case we can only assume her dog is likely protective and scared. People rarely come round, it can't settle when they do. Its shouting danger danger, keep away. It might mean that the dog pairs the visitors coming with bad things happening ef being sprayed in the face and becomes more defensive and scared. Stopping the dog shouting might mean that actually he gives no warning and becomes agressive, especially as without the bark people might not give as much space to him.

No, I said the dog became a happy dog when once he stopped barking. I accept it may not work in all cases but in some, including our friends, it did.

This sounds completely miserable for your poor son and just as bad for any neighbours unfortunate enough to be close enough to hear this incessant barking. I can't believe you just stopped trying when the training didn't work quickly.

My 2 cents is that it's not about finding a trainer, It's about finding a trainer that can work with you and your dog, so I would " interview" a few. Ideally, breed experience is the most important thing, but potentially the behavioural issue itself is what you need to focus on, and whether they've got any experience of that and what they would do in broad terms.

Don't be afraid to walk away from someone who is wishy washy, or who will take an approach that you don't like, because training will only work if you commit to it and you aren't going to commit to something you don't agree with.

The training has to make sense for the issue... years ago I had someone tell me that I needed to slip lead train my dog to deal with his car reactivity- those two things are not related, so I binned that trainer off sharpish

This kind of breed needs loads of mental stimulation and working full time while having a dog, I presume home alone, is really not the best thing for this dog. She could be barking out of boredom, as well as not being trained to stop on command.

She is probably now also picking up on your anxiety over it, which then makes it worse. I’ve got a dog who knows when I’m stressed/upset/anxious and then barks and howls to alert my husband, but it makes me worse. It’s a vicious circle but sounds like it could be happening too

Someone has mentioned a Citronella collar, they are brilliant. My girl knows it as the “naughty girl collar” and we’ve only got to show it to her. You can get ones which beep or vibrate too, but the citronella spray really does work. It’s just teaching them what’s acceptable and what isn’t

I’m starting to get the impression you have been anxious around the dog for all its life and this is part of the problem. Dogs pick up on our anxieties hence laid back owners normally have laid back dogs. Your dog may be barking all the time because they sense your anxiety and think you need protection.

I would have rehomed him years ago if behaviourists couldn’t fix the problem. Maybe he needs a different type of home.

You have a dog - who costs money
you’re about to spend on a behaviourist which will be pricey

my point is… not only has your teen boy not been able to have play dates when at primary or friends over now a teen because of this dog, he also has had all his childhood holidays restricted by this dog and…. His small home very often dominated by loud and incessant barking.

you live in a semi. You have heard your neighbour shout over the garden fence for your dog to stop barking.

All your posts have been focussed on what you’re now going to do about the dog after 7 years whereas if my teen boy had said that he hates the dog and he has sucked this all up for half his childhood - I would want to show my boy that for the last couple of years of his childhood (plus he will be doing GCSEs and alevels in the next two years… he will want bloody peace in his own home when studying!!) - I am going to prioritise my boy. And so yes… I would rehome the dog.

I say this as a dog owner who adores my dog. But my love for my dog is a drop in the ocean compared with my love for my teen DS

I think you should get rid of the dog (I think 20 years ago this wouldn't even be a question).

And no wonder it acts like that when you let it sleep in a human bed! It thinks it's one of you

Contact a breed specific re homing charity and let them find a home that is more suited for this poor dog. It is a working dog that is bored stiffless and completely under stimulated.

Where did you read that, I missed it.

OP, give yourself a break, sounds like you’ve been trying to keep your head above water for a few years now, it’s understandable that you might not always have had capacity for lots of dog training. You’re at where you’re at so you can only move forward now.
i spent a lot of money on a course specifically for barking and it basically boiled down to lots of work where you anticipate what will trigger then and distract before they bark and reward them for not barking. Honestly speaking the only way this worked for my one dog was to tell her off for thinking about barking as she’s a bit highly strung so wouldn’t be distracted with treats or anything but did respond to knowing she would be in trouble when she barks.
id also do some work on rebalancing the dynamic with you and your dog, sounds like you’re letting her be alpha because you’ve been struggling with self esteem? You can easily take the reins on that now, make sure you go through doors before her, pretend to eat her food before you give it her, keep her off the sofa etc. I know alot of people say this kind of training doesn’t work nowadays but in my experience, my anxious dogs feel better for knowing they don’t have to be in charge and I always do it with zero aggression and very kindly.
she will 1000% be picking up on your anxiety and that will peak her own, can you work on your lack of self confidence at all? This will pay off no end in that you’ll feel more capable of managing this and other situations plus she will feel more relaxed around you and of course it will in general improve your quality of life
take a breath, speak with your son and acknowledge his feeling that it’s affected your lives in a negative way and you want to change it now.
could the timing of your sons frustration be that maybe things are more settled now and he’d like a more normal life where he can have mates over and the dog is an obstacle to that?
those saying to rehome the dog are crackers, your dog is causing some upset in the house but she isn’t a danger to anyone and has also and continues to be a great comfort to you and your younger son.
you can sort this OP, onwards and upwards now in a positive fashion ❤️

Thank you everyone for commenting, I appreciate you taking the time.

I am going to contact a specialist rehoming organisation I found last night specific to the breed, and explain and see what they say.

Can I please reiterate that she is not trapped inside barking all day, I am with her all the time other than my one day in the office, during which time she has a dog walker.

I think there is definitely truth in my anxiety creating her stress, which is probably why she is more tolerant at the vets when I'm not in the room. She is protective of us.

I told my son that what he is feeling valid, and I'm going to try training and see where we go. This started because he has his first girlfriend and so she comes round for dinner and the dog still barks at her, but I feel its because the dog can sense how my son feels and also me, because we are both expecting her to bark so we're both tense which makes the dog feel worse. The dog does settle, but she is barking yes.

Good luck with that, OP. The dog barking at the girlfriend is awful, so I really hope that the family can be helped. I wonder if it may help for you to get some support as well? You may be able to self refer for online counselling, or see your GP. You've had a challenging time and perhaps need help with that?
It sounds like you've made the right move, and I hope it works for you and your family. 🌼

Sounds like she's incredibly frustrated and has got into a behaviour loop.

You mentioned she's a working line scent hound. Does she do any breed specific training or work? Look into scent work/ mantrailing, it could be just the outlet she needs and who knows, perhaps your son could get involved and build a bit of a bond with her? Walks exercise her body but a working line dog needs a 'job' as well. Even a few games of 'find it' could help. Instead of feeding her in the house, try scatter feeding her in the garden or hiding her food in several bowls around the garden.

One thing that jumped out was you said she is "very hostile towards anyone she doesn't know, or sometimes just people not in the family" do you mean she's vocal or is she actually hostile/ aggressive towards them? Very different behaviours and strategies so it's important to know the difference.

There will be breed specific groups/ trainers online, try to find one with breed experience as a barking frustrated herder breed is different to a barking guard breed is different to a barking retriever breed.

@Yetone they are cruel and not necessary.